Coming Home..

Coming back from a stranger's arms
To mum's own

Rushing from school
To find mom and sis and bros and dad and hot bhajjis!

Returning from an exhilirating inter-collegiate programme
To the hostel
To familiar room-mates
To banter through the night

Looking forward for the weekend
To catch up with by now scattered friends
And old books that remind you of the carefree days
In a far way city that is home to your job

And now..
Just closing the day
With somebody who knows-not to judge you in anyway
And where 'Being You' makes you endearing and a delight to be with..

'Coming home' is truly a pleasure..
Knowing this will further evolve..
And hoping that
I will be 'Home' too someday to somebody..
Is one of the few reasons..
Tomorrow looks promising and worth planning for..

Good Fellas by Martin Scorsese

My first ever Martin Scrosese movie was The Taxi Driver. Bad choice for somebody who had no clue. The movie disturbed me to no end.Since then I have consciously kept away from his movies. Until now.

If you can cross the first three scenes in this movie without barfing.. then congratulations..you have passed the litmus test to handle the rest. I think what is most disturbing is the gore and blood is so matter of fact. No loud background scores, no close-up shots, no nothing. Three guys on a road, a banging noise from the boot, loads of profanities and before you realise it, the guys get down, check the boot, realise that the half-dead man is throbbing, one of them pulls out a knife and whack, whack,whack.

Now for the not-so-faint hearted.. the story.The movie is through the eyes of Henry (Ray Liotta) who has 'as far as he can remember, always wanted to be a gangster'. He takes us through his growth from a teen flunkie of the gang to one of its 3 very powerful members. This 3-some also includes his one-time idol Jimmy (Robert De Niro). Paul - the head guy keeps warning them to keep of the drugs business but they just dont. In the end it destroys their friendship, themselves and their families. The movie draws you in and leaves you with regret as though you have been part of the gang and all that they have been through. I have seen Ray Liotta perform better though his scope in this movie is quite huge despite the other talented cast. De Niro is understated and just right for his part. I personally found the head guy Paul funny though he is meant to intimidate. He has what Sidney Lumet calls 'Search light' eyes that take aeons to pass from one person to the other! Karen (Lorraine Braco) Henry's wife - seems the smartest of the lot - except for her loose possessiveness for her husband. You keep an eye out for her in the movie and you realise she is more rational and shrewd than the whole gang put together!

My Rating : 7/10

abhi na jao chodkar

Magic is such as this one created by Sahir Ludhianvi, Jaidev, Mohmd Rafi and Asha Bonsle. The fond mischief in the lyrics and the score is what is so endearing.. note the mischief -' jo roj yun hi jaaogi..tho kis tarah nibhaogi?'

Marriage Compass!

I keep telling my K that the only reason I married him is 'coz he can make me laugh - no matter what the circumstance..and he re-affirmed it yet again!

Yesterday he innocently asked me if he could have an Egg dish the next day..In view of the fact that it was a Friday and we had mutually decided long back that no egg dishes would ever be cooked on tuesdays and fridays.. i went on a tirade of how it was just like him to be insensitive and not take such things seriously and so on and so forth.. he let me run my steam and said 'ok.. that means no egg dish tomorrow' - and went back to what he was doing..

The best part is that today - on Friday - I forget it is a Friday and ask him if he would like an egg dish - he turned fully towards me and repeated every word, re-enacted every intonation and every head thrust and stopped exactly where I did yesterday!.. and I burst out laughing uproariously.. Was I indeed so melo-dramatic, so hysterical and petty for such a small misdemeanour? Why, I never thought of myself to be such a drama queen! Next time, for sure I shall stop and think before I work myself into a temper!

You know that the Marriage Compass is pointing right - if as a couple you laugh more than once a day and more so if you are laughing at one of yourself or both!

Ram from Mars

All you modern girls
Raise your voices
In indignant haste
At my unjustified silence
Against Ram's silly rambles..
Sita! You silly girl..
I hear you squeal..
Fight for your rights woman!

My dear fellow women..
Years from now
When you are married
For the first few years
You will question and question and question your spouse
And receive no answers or worse
Receive answers that are tangential to a tangent
And post stepping past the threshold of that initial hope for wisdom
From year 5 if not sooner
You would just give up and listen
'Coz as he puts question after question to you..
Your mind will - like a lazy dog in the afternoon
Get up, look sulkily and go back to sleep on screen-saver mode..
Murmuring only to you..
'Whats the point?
He will never understand
Let me go home to mum!
And let this Martian be..'

isko hi jeena kehtein hein tho yuhi jee lenge...

Play the song. Close your eyes. Listen to the lyrics. Go over them line by line.
S D Burman's background track will allow you to listen to those rich lyrics. He even manages to somehow enhance their meaning through the haunting score. Hemant kumar goes straight for the emotional jugular and S D Burman facilitates it mesmerisingly.. I for one never developed a liking for Guru Dutt's self-pity oriented themes.. but his rendition of these themes.. oh,the honest rendition .. with the rough edges left deliberately unpolished.. just phenomenal! Just think of a moment when you were at your weakest, drained, tired, misunderstood - and his songs will pay homage to your emotions - in the most graceful manner possible.
Click here for the song..
http://youtube.com/watch?v=dkKt8cGZPz4

Heat by Michael Mann

Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Jon Voight.. an impressive cast. I rented the movie with great expectations. Turned out to be an out and out guy flick.. Lots of 'GO,GO,GO! ' and shoot outs and macho dialogues and what not.. full masala! Al Pacino's flamboyance in this movie reminds of the Tamil hero Vijaykanth! Hubby says am free to call Al -'Al Kanth' just for this one!
Now, dont get me wrong.. am not against flamboyant characterisation..if I think flamboyance suits a guy.. it is John Travolta.. I totally fell for that guy's ability to pull it off in 'Get Shorty'. With Al.. somehow it doesn't fly..

My Rating : 5/10

Also saw Frankie and Johnny by Garry Marshall ( Al again and Michelle Pfeiffer) and The Dirty Dozen by Robert Aldrich ( Lee Marvin and a whole others am not familiar with..)I have nothing much to say about either!

Thanksgiving!

Here's to somebody who..

Let go of you completely
But still when you are down..
Knows to write to you..
Exactly what will help you deal with it..

Lives with you day in and day out..
And still has it in him to be ok with all that you are..
And finds it possible to check in on your comforter
In the middle of the night - despite a raging fight

Worries, hurts and celebrates
As much as you do and tries to take some of your part
As only a mum can..

Adjusts, accepts and guides
Shares lessons from her own life
And helps you relate to someone important through
Milestones in her own struggle to relate and understand..

Comes over to your house to chill
And still cooks for you 'coz she is fond of you..

Though a happy-go-lucky person
Shows a rare but much appreciated, unexpected sensitivity
To what you may feel

Shares his vulnerabilities
Pulls back when hurt
But gets back with no grudges held

Is generous enough to take the time off
To write something nice
About an 'out of sight' person

Just pops out of nowhere
To connect again
Like there was no break inbetween
Always delighted to hear from you
And not shy to show it..

Uses you as a sounding board
And listens to you with respect
Is willing to go a step further
To understand and empathise what is not being said..

Digs you out of bales of others
And tells you day in and day out
What makes you special and
Gives you an opportunity to prove it..

Sits across the table cutting all heirarchies
And values your opinion
Communicating the reason why you are valued
So you make no mistake of false humility..

Calls you from a land very far away
At the hint of a crisis
And spends hours to guide and empathise
When there are absolutely no stakes left
But 6 years of seniority in a similar life and a growing fondness..

Knows when you are disturbed
And takes you to a Ghazal lunch
And cracks jokes that ensure you smile..

Stands by you like a rock
And more importantly
The person that is dear to you..
Despite the pressure that it brings..

Even while taking those tentative steps as an acquaintance
But crossed and boldy morphed into a friend
When the need suddenly arose

Always treated you with class like you were the most graceful of them all
Even when you werent sure exactly what that meant..

There..
I have attempted to count my infinite blessings!
Like somebody said
For the sake of the those above
Next time when there's a problem
I shall not tell you guys how big my problems are..
But
I shall tell my problems how great you guys are!
This is for each one of you who have made my life more beautiful..
By just being who you are..

The Sixth Sense

Chat
Mail
Skype
Orkut
Linkedin
Facebook..
How can you possibly miss anybody?
You ask.
Knowing that when she says that particular comment he'll smirk -
Turning around to catch that predictable reaction..
Catching her eyes across the room to wink about girly secrets ..
Secretly listening in as a group to a mundane telephone that is suddenly hilarious ...
Hearing their guttural laughter and joining in..
Teasing about her not-so-secret crushes..
Till its me who blushes and not she..

Oh.. it is very much possible to miss a lot of people
Despite a complete access to their electronic avtars..
Now, You get off G- talk
And come home to me.

Dog Day Afternoon by Sidney Lumet

Again a real life adaptation, this movie is simply brilliant. The plot is fairly simple. An amateurish bank robbery that 'Sonny' almost pulls off..or so he thinks... Al Pacino is brilliant as the young and inexperienced 'Sonny' who wants desperately to satisfy everybody around him but fails at it every time. On a 'Dog Day Afternoon' he tries to rob a bank so that his boyfriend can afford to have a sex-change operation. The relationship between his boyfriend and him is potrayed as naturally as possible.. in Sidney's own words ' as conflicts in any relationship are.. only these are normal people in a bizarre situation'. There is no exaggeration or stereotyping of the relationship.
There are several brilliant scenes that stand out for their most un-melodramatic rendition of humane emotions.
a) The top scene has to be 'Sonny's' dictation of the will.. ' To Leon.. the only man I ever loved' and 'To Angie.. the only woman I ever loved'
b) 'Sonny's' spontaneous screaming of the anti-establishment chant 'Attica' that is soon picked up by the gathered crowd
c) 'Sonny's' mom trying to convince him to surrender or run.. without listening to a single word he says. A single scene that tells us the exact relationship between him and the authority figures in his life
d) His telecons with his wife and Leo.. the rage, the love, the generosity.. Al outshines himself several times over!
There is not a single studio-shot in th entire movie and the effect is phenomenal.. you feel part of the crowd watching the action..only you have closer access to Sonny's real and self-exaggerated predicaments. Like in 'Donnie Brasco' where you cannot but grow fond of 'Lefty' despite who he is.. here you can't help feeling sorry for Sonny and what becomes of him despite the fact that he took an option that shouldnt have been one for him in the first place..

My Rating : 8/10

Google Google

Being soooooooo used to 'Googling' whatever I want.. it is strangely comical that my mind desperately wants to Google when..
a) I misplace my reading glasses/letter from home/internet banking password somewhere in the house and need to find it in a hurry..
b) I cant remember the name of the guy from office who is supposed to be processing my PF papers..
c) My little Nephew's birthday is coming up and I cant remember the exact date!
d) When am lost on my way back home and dont know which turn to take ..
Google guys! Pls get a palmtop version that can access our memory( like the 'Harry Potter' silver veins that can be poured into a flask!).. and help us search for sense when we need it badly!

Serpico by Sidney Lumet

A much acclaimed movie by the director who had directed the 12 Angry Men and Dog Day Afternoon amongst many others. Based on a real life incident, the movie stars Al Pacino as the idealistic Franc Serpico alias Paco. The movie faithfully records his angst, frustration and final disillusionment with the corruption within the American Police Department. What leaves me cold is Serpico's naivete and refusal to see the big picture. Forget a Police Department, wherever you go, if there is widespread corruption, it would be prudent to assume that it could not have possibly grown to such proportions without the support or indifference of the higher-ups. Point 2, if you want to change a system from within, to expect to do that without encountering any enemity is too far-fetched. Thirdly, when you are in the system and want to go to outsiders especially the media to wash dirty linen within - no senior is going to take too kindly to that. This is true anywhere - be it Politics, the Corporate world, the Movie industry or anywhere. And lastly, after being warned openly about the possiblity of mortal danger, to register shock at being shot in the face - is simply lack of reality orientation!

Franc's idealism though initially appealing, the naivete and dogged angst after 5 years in the system is frustrating, not just to his girlfriend but as an audience to me as well. If he was anyway planning to give up on the system and move to Switzerland he could have done that without getting shot in the face!
Anyways, Al Pacino as usual turns in a brilliant performance - so it wasnt after all a complete waste of time. And may be, me being a cynic couldnt relate much to the character. Somebody else might find Franco highly endearing..So not completely a bummer..

My Rating : 4/10

Sophie's Choice: By Alan J Pakula

Saw this enchanting movie yesterday. A movie that won an Oscar for Merylstreep and was nominated for cinematography, Screenplay, Music and Costume design. But thats not what matters. It is the way the movie draws you slowly but surely into the worlds of Sophie, Nathan and Stingo - seperately and as best friends. The plot has startling revelations every half an hour. Some new piece of insight into each of their lives something that makes you understand and relate to them better. Each of these characters fight with their own demons at the same time trying to help and understand each other. Sophie lies about her father, uses his name in auschwitz,chooses between her children, cheats in her marriage, refuses to be drawn into the Resistance,tries to seduce a Nazi officer and continuously humours her suspicious boyfriend - but in the context of her life.. she comes across as a touchingly vulnerable woman fighting for survival of not just herself but those she loves. A very normal human being undervery very abnormal circumstances.
The pink flat in Brooklyn where the three friends meet and love and fight and seperate signifies a cheer that they desperately try to draw and reflect but fail more than occassionally. Nathan the brilliant always- been- free jew in love with the Auschwitz-returned Catholic Sophie is caught in the vortex of the ironies of their lives to the point of self-destruction. Can't believe Nathan is the same Kevin Kline who was famous for his ' What was the middle thing?' one-liner in the ' Fish called Wanda'. An absolutely riveting performance.

Stingo , in who's voice we hear the story, is the least disturbed - if emotional disturbances can be quantified or qualified! A trifle over-whelmed by Nathan and devoted to Sophie, he represents the normal, the average human being that sincerely wants to help but almost always fails to fully empathise.

Meryl Streep in her in-your-face closeup conversations makes a fidget of the eye , and a tilt of the head speak volumes. In fact I think she is one actress who in many movies has used fidgeting as a tool to express myriad emotions. A sudden turn of the head, hands at the neck, and a jerky step this side and that..and you see the conflict in her mind in the context she wants you to. ' The Bridges of Madison County' is just one another example. And of course, her Polish-accented broken English is another weakness that strengthens her appeal.

The heart-wrenching lines below in the context of Sophie and Nathan's lives at the end of the movie..leaves you deeply saddened and thankful for the simpler complexities of our lives.

Ample Make This Bed
Ample make this bed.
Make this bed with awe;
In it wait till judgment break, Excellent and fair.
Be its mattress straight, Be its pillow round;
Let no sunrise' yellow noise Interrupt this ground.
-- Emily Dickinson

My Rating : 9/10

Scope

5 years old
Lacy dresses
A swing at home
DD Cartoon on Sundays


10 years old
Friends in school every day
English class - Anitha Ma'am
P T Period
Tinkle, Tintin, Amarchitra katha and Asterix at home

15 years old
Lipstick and Nailpolish
English and Language Class
Saturday Colour dress!
Oh to belong to my group of friends!
Nancy drew, Famous five, Charles in Charge
Jeffrey Archer, Sidney Sheldon, Aananda vikatan
Trips to the library,
Arvind swamy, Table tennis, Winning Prizes

18 years old
Freedom! Hostel!
Eat, sleep, read books any time you want..
Irwing Wallace, Wilbursmith,
Oh buying second hand books
Anything for good food..


21 years old
Oh.. so this is Co-ed
And this is Hindi!
My preference
Of job
Of friends
Of life
Steinbeck and Sashi Tharoor
Nasrudin Shah and Waheeda Rehman
Bengali and Kannadiga Friends


25 Years old
Promotion
Bonus
Money
Hubby remembers this day
I can cook well!
Ah.. time to relax
Call from family!
Trips to resorts..
Ponniyin Selvan, Shantaram,
Amarchitra katha!
Calvin and Hobbes!


The scope for ultimate happiness evolutes, repeats and expands as the years roll on...