My dear little fairy princess..
I am back again with my heart bursting full with a need to spill at least some of these overwhelming emotions..
Of late I have been raising the bar for you on everything - what you should read, write, say, do.
You, in all your innocence are trying your level best to fulfill my expectations without really understanding why the sudden pressure. Just the other day, I was so upset because you had been naughty at school. I was being so harsh with you and we both raised our voices. But it was you who calmed down first, looked up at me and asked so sweetly ' If I play the piano beautifully today - will that make you smile amma? '.
May be it is normal for a little kid to ask this of her mum but I was so touched (and a little bit ashamed that you were being the grown up and I, the child..)
Just because I have lost precious children before and after you.. it is unfair of me to expect you to make up for all those losses and have the best of the lot of the them. I am elated, grateful, blessed and permanently changed for the better because you fought with the powers to be, to come to your dad and me. I am glad you chose us. I am glad you fought to be with us. There is nothing more that I should possibly ask of you other than letting you grow in to the wonderful , spirited sweet heart that you so obviously are.
I remember, some time back..in fact, till the time you were a toddler, as soon as you got up in the morning you used to search for my face, spot it and immediately your face will just bloom from sleepy confusion into a lovely smile that infused your face (and my heart) with joy! That used to be the best part of my day.
Now, as we cuddle in bed at night, read a book together, talk about our day and giggle about how we fought with each other at tea time..I marvel at your growth and spirit and logical mind and generosity and feel so proud and blessed.
That has now become the best part of my day.
We tell you daily that you are the bestest, you are our favourite and we love you the most in this world..but Kannamma.. what we are actually trying to tell you is this
'Thank you for being you!'
Love you to the moon and back
Amma
I am back again with my heart bursting full with a need to spill at least some of these overwhelming emotions..
Of late I have been raising the bar for you on everything - what you should read, write, say, do.
You, in all your innocence are trying your level best to fulfill my expectations without really understanding why the sudden pressure. Just the other day, I was so upset because you had been naughty at school. I was being so harsh with you and we both raised our voices. But it was you who calmed down first, looked up at me and asked so sweetly ' If I play the piano beautifully today - will that make you smile amma? '.
May be it is normal for a little kid to ask this of her mum but I was so touched (and a little bit ashamed that you were being the grown up and I, the child..)
Just because I have lost precious children before and after you.. it is unfair of me to expect you to make up for all those losses and have the best of the lot of the them. I am elated, grateful, blessed and permanently changed for the better because you fought with the powers to be, to come to your dad and me. I am glad you chose us. I am glad you fought to be with us. There is nothing more that I should possibly ask of you other than letting you grow in to the wonderful , spirited sweet heart that you so obviously are.
I remember, some time back..in fact, till the time you were a toddler, as soon as you got up in the morning you used to search for my face, spot it and immediately your face will just bloom from sleepy confusion into a lovely smile that infused your face (and my heart) with joy! That used to be the best part of my day.
Now, as we cuddle in bed at night, read a book together, talk about our day and giggle about how we fought with each other at tea time..I marvel at your growth and spirit and logical mind and generosity and feel so proud and blessed.
That has now become the best part of my day.
We tell you daily that you are the bestest, you are our favourite and we love you the most in this world..but Kannamma.. what we are actually trying to tell you is this
'Thank you for being you!'
Love you to the moon and back
Amma
