Letter to my princess - 14 years old!

 Dear pattumma

Where do I begin. Has this been our toughest year yet? You are doing very well in your studies, all the grown ups are very fond of you, you still have the same joie-de-vivre as ever and we are now living in our dream home and you love your room and most of all we all love Coco - our bundle of joy!

You have now finished your Grade 5 theory and singing, Grade 6 Lamda, Grade 5 Trinity acting and DOFE Bronze. We gave away the piano as you were no longer interested.

You have newly developed interest in dancing to western as well as bollywood songs randomly. You observed they are doing squats in PE and now thoppukaranams happen without me having to ask! You listen to songs while walking Coco, so you are au fait not only with lyrics of the songs of your generation but also that of ours and beyond ( Elvis Presley ? seriously?)

You are very committed to your homework, you draw up schedules and study by yourself and set targets for yourself. You even research subjects and add value to assignments without any prompting from the teachers. Chemistry, maths, history and classical civilisation are your favourite subjects and even in the holidays you studied chemistry simply because you wanted to.

I wish the same discipline applied to cleaning your room, your ensuite, doing the dishes , loading the washing machine, hanging the clothes out when the weather is good and walking and cleaning Coco. You do all of the above, but very erratically and after much follow up! (You do play with coco all the time without any prompting!)

Not only that,  you are still struggling to wake up in the mornings, your food habits are still abominable- junk still rules, your period issues are still ongoing and you have very very high expectations from your friends and have stuck to just one close friend this year and have pushed back every body else at school. Atleast one friend did approach you on her own and while you were polite to her, you told me you are not going to let her in  to your close circle again! Outside school though, you still have many good friends.

You are thinking a lot about your future and are playing out various career choices in your head. You are following social media accounts of individuals with careers you think you like to see how their life is on a daily basis.

You still are very confidently friendly with adults and very personable. We were gobsmacked when our next door neighbours turned up with a card a day before your birthday , with no prompting. They bothered to remember and make an effort! Y uncle came as always and more grownups wished you than youngsters - even more than the year before! 

However, with me, it has been a battle of wills and lots of times it has not been very pleasant.. The biggest battle has always been about food. Sorry for that kannamma.. I only ever want the best for you and I panic everytime I think of your food habits when left on your own. You are a vegetarian , though you will have egg. But you shy away from vegetables except for cucumber and olives. All you have is cheese - feta, halloumi and Mozarella. You still drink milk straight out of the fridge. Chocolates, cheese sticks, crepes, bread and brioche fill up your tummy (and constipate it!). Drinking water is a big battle still. I despair even while writing about it!

How can somebody so smart not understand the consequences of their actions? You are still impulsive regarding food and fun and that worries me. Only for academics do you discipline yourself. In the holidays, there is no control whatsoever!

The school report praised your academics but what stood out was your form teacher calling out how impresssed she has been with your resilience and strength of character! I know of it and am proud of it but all of it matters only after your health. Please da, make healthier choices and do not given in to your impulses!

May your life be filled with joy, friendships, good health and lots of love.

Love you to the moon and back da chellame!

Amma

Summer 2023

 After a hectic academic year - but one that ended in all As and A *s,  a bronze Do*fe award , 2 physics presentation awards, grade 5 singing, grade 6 LAMDA distinction and grade 5 trinity award distinciton, the summer holidays finally dawned.

Summer this year started and ended in June, so all the get togethers etc happened in June. We also went to a day trip to Bournem*outh beach in June, without K as he was in Frank+furt. We went on the car with N, M and little S. It was a really good trip with the sun being burning hot and the beach a wonderful respite. The ladies and kids had an especially good time. It was around 7 families - with the usual suspects, so a very good time was had.

Just before the holidays I had gone on a ladies trekking trip to Pystll R**header falls and the week after walked 4.5 hours from home to the Dudle*y temple with 12 other ladies. Though enjoyed both immensely , strained my ankle and had to be on ankle braces and had to get a scan and xray done.

During the holidays it was wet and rainy, so only sleepover with her close friend V happened. R also went to Oppenheimer with her dad and Barbie with me.Also, we had been planning to take her to the Cov*ntry Vara*hi temple- as we had gone before and she had not, so took her there. Though she recited all the slokas etc, the 3 hour wait for the pooja finally did her in. We took the arathi and left while the rest of the pooja was still going on. 

While I was resting up, K and R also went hiking to PenY Fa*nn along with A, N, S families and had a good time. She was the only girl in the trip, the rest of the kids were guys 1 15 year old, 2 12 year olds and 1 10 year old - but as always, she was very comfortable and had a great time.

One evening, S organised a sudden meet up wtih Pani puri and that was good as well. Though R seems to get along and enjoy a lot with the boys and younger kids ( 2 years younger usually) than the teenagers of her own age. Mainly because she is active and likes to either chat or play while the other teenagers are glued to their mobiles. Not that R does not like her mobile time, but definitely not when there is company around and physical or conversational fun to be had.

Having said that, her closest friend in school is a ukranian kid who is 2 years older to her but who is in her class due to the English language gap. She teaches her tamil and in turn learns Ukranian from her!

Next weekend, our very close friends since 8 years who missed our house warming came home with their dog, Casper. We spent a wonderful day with them. Their daughter D and R used to be very active and chatty till a couple of years back. This year, D had changed completely and was very quiet and wanted to stay in and engage with her mobile. R was still trying to get D to chat or go for a physical game, but to no avail.  Makes me wonder if there is some hormone that has bypassed R completely. Especially since D and R are only a month part and have been mostly similar growing up!

Since K and I were both workign throughout, weekedays for R were spent studying a  bit in preparation for year 10, playing with Coco , taking him for a walk, doing some small chores and relaxign with the mobile and tele.

The week after we went for the Ther at Sri * Muru*gan T*emple, London. Unexpectedly, R and her close friend V and the other teenage boys H and T were given the sevarkodi and banners to carry around the ther for 4 hours. To their credit, the kids did it while chatting and having a good time. The entire day was fun as we had A's brother's house in the same lane as the temple - so we could have breakfast, rest, change, attend to nature's call etc without any worries. We all had dinner at Vas*antha bh*avan and came home happy tired.

The week after was the trip to S*kanda Vale on Sat and B*arafundle bay on the Sun. S*kandavale was extremely tiring as we started from home at 7 am and reached around 11 but the poojas started soon after and ended only by 8 pm. The best part was teh climb to the vel on the kundru ( V and R did it twice!). That itself was very tiring. But then there was the Murugan pooja. We visited the durga pond with the koi carps - that was very good. But the best was the ranganathar mandap which was peaceful and beautiful. The yagasala wait for the food was tiring to say the least. Then the steep climb to the kali temple and the long poooja did us in. Though the kali sacred sanctorum entry after the 2 hour pooja was very good. Most of the poojaris were welsh and their sanskrit pronunciations were interesting to say the least.

The kid attended minimal pooja but played around and generally had a great time. This time it was 6 families so quite a good gang.We had all made one item each for breakfast , so it was a veritable feast for breakfast. There was poori, channa, kadala curry, tomato thokku, noodles, semiya, pidi kozhukattai, nilakadalai chutney, idli, pongal and piping hot tea!

We stayed at the F*orge Motel and Fire*house- the rooms were next to each other, very spacious and we were so knackered that we slept soon though the motorway was right next to us. V travelled with us, stayed with us and spent time with R throughout. One of the couples had bought egg timers, toasters, peanut butter, pistachio butter, pineapple jam ( the pineapple jam with the heat of the tomato thokku on toasted bread was a big hit) and there were croissants and crepes, so breakfast was sorted.

We took some snaps and left for the bay. The weather turned wonderful, so a very good time was had at the beach. Came home after a drive of 4.5 hours, around midnight, K had everything packed and ready for his flight to Frank*furt. Checkin was at 3 am, so drove him to the airport, dropped him and dropped into bed.

Was woken by the girls at 9.18 to pick Coco up. Rushed to login, wrapped all important checks and calls, rushed to pick Coco up, cooked breakfast for the girls while working, prepped lunch, wrapped up calls and mails and was exhausted by the time M anna came to pick V up. Once V left, just set out dinner to R and flopped into bed!

There is another walk around a lake planned by the group on R's birthday and we may have a guest over the day before. And that should wrap up the holidays nicely!

Due to budget constraints, no holidays abroad this Summer, nevertheless, it has been a good break for R, I would say.