Letters to my daughter - 1

Dear Princess

For reasons that we both know..I would like to record forever the kind of mom I intend(ed) to be..so you will know..no matter what..

1. I love you. Irrespective of whether you play the piano well or swim well or read well or eat without spilling.. I love you just as you are and just as you will be. To know you is to love you and to be your mum is to love you unconditionally.

 I have a part to play in who you are and I will never turn away from that truth. If we are good, we are good together and if we are bad, we are so together.

2. We fight. A lot. You are just 4 years old but you have strong opinions and  clear communication. I encourage you to contradict me when you feel I am in the wrong. This is because I want you to develop a strong character, an individual thought process.

But remember.. we always fight with a view to Understand and be Understood. We never fight to win. Different opinions can co-exist happily. You might believe in something exactly opposite to me but that is not going to stop me from loving you or you me.

We shall never be that insecure in our beliefs.

3. Already you speak about things I do not understand ('One direction!' - At 4 years! I only know they are a band!) but I promise I will not judge you just because you seek things I do not understand. I will try my best to understand them with you and on my own. My values are going to be different to yours..but that does not mean you are bad or I am..it just means that we are different because we belong to different generations.

We shall always celebrate that difference and grow/evolve more because of it.

4.I love(d) every minute of being your mom. Yes, I have made sacrifices but those were conscious choices by me. Those sacrifices were made towards my happiness which at that moment was from yours. So, in all  you owe me - Absolutely Nothing.

I have always striven (with your dad's help) to maintain a balance between my space, my time and my duties to you. Never in my life do I want to hold you accountable for something I have missed out in my life. You have done nothing but enhance my life. Made me a better person. Relaxed me. Taught me to open my heart and love more.

If you want to give me something at all..it is this. Be true to your heart. Be sensible and safe in your life. Demand the best from life. Deserve nothing less.

Most importantly..love your child as unconditionally as or even better than I love you. And tell her to do the same to her/his child.

5. We do get angry with each other. Then we take a break from each other. (Mostly you declare that you are taking a break from me even while continuing to happily sit on my lap and play..) But we always get back. Because I am your mum and you are my daughter and we love each other and that is the final truth. We make it a point to say that we love each other before we take a break.

These breaks are, for now only for a grand total of 5 minutes.

But I know that when you are a teenager you might want longer breaks from me and I from you. We shall give each other that space. But at the end of it we will be eagerly waiting for each other - always. The break is for our anger not for our love. This is a promise and a commitment I learnt from your dad. And  now I pass it on to you.


6. I am always going to be jealous of the love between you and your dad. While I plan and pray and strive and practically stand upside down to let you know that I love you.. he does it so effortlessly. He seems to have communicated all of the above and more..without writing or saying a single word.

But remember - all said and done.. he is a 'boy' and we are the team committed to 'Girl power! ' So all the secrets are just between us!  :)

Love you sunshine!

Shall write more as and when my heart is again so full of love that I can't take it anymore without writing down atleast some of it :)

Amma.

Countries and People

Just counted 12 + countries that I have been to..want to jot down thoughts as they come before I forget my experience in each of those..

Do note that these are my very personal opinions and are to be taken with loads of salt..

I have not visited all the places in each of these countries - not even all the important, ' must visit' places..so this is more like 'notes to myself' than a guidance to others!

So here I go in descending order of  having visited them..

Turkey (Only Istanbul)

 Unbelievably child friendly. Everybody seems to love children. We received loads of chocolates from complete strangers just because our little imp was with us!  Not very familiar with English. But still easy to navigate the country. Topakapi palace in Istanbul is easily the best feature. The weather ( in June) was awesome! Do not forget to dine with a view of the Bosphorus Strait  at the Topakapi Palace. An awesome experience. The Chora church is a treasure for history buffs and the yearabatan cistern for Dan Brown fans! Hagia sophia and the blue mosque absolute delights to explore :)

Spain

Either the language or the way people spoke it..came across as very rude. The castillians as opposed to the Spaniards seemed cooler. More down to earth. Valencia has a wonderful sand beach. Do not miss the Sagrada Familia church and Park Guell by Antoni Gaudi. An evolving project that has gone on for a century (Sagrada Familia)..very impressive - in concept and in reality.

The Alhambra palace - I hear is built as the Moors' imitation of the Paradise. I did not get a chance to see it. I did see the Royal Palace which was just another beautiful European place of grandeur. But the Alhambra, I believe is something else altogether.


Holland

Love the Dutch. They switch between english and Dutch effortlessly and without sulking like the French. They seem secure in their language and their love for it! Stayed at Den Haag. Less crowded than Amsterdam. The canals,the tulips, the people, Van Goh's museum, Anne Frank and the annexe where that brave little girl hid.. what is not to admire and love about Holland?

Belgium

The Grand Place may be?. Give the Atomium and  the Mannequin de Pis a miss. Nothing much to be impressed about either. But  - do not miss the gourmet food. Choclates, Biscuits, Waffles and Cream. Go to Belgium just for the Waffles :)

France -Paris

The most child un-friendly european city I have ever been to. Children are merely tolerated.

 Do learn as much French as you can. Parisians sulk at having to listen to you speak English -forget about talking to you in English. ( And I do speak un peu de French and it was only by mistake did I slip into English) But if you even attempt to speak French..they melt (while correcting you of course..)

But the place. Paris. What is it about the Champs de Elysees that charms you and makes you fall in love.?. The Tuileries, Notre Dame, La Sacre Coeur..the Louvre.. Paris has got the X factor.. you cannot put your finger on it.. but I am yet to meet somebody who has not loved Paris.

Switzerland

Switzerland has three sectors - the Italian, German and French sectors. I have never been to Germany and I know only one German ( a colleague - and she was a sweet heart) but the population in the German sector were unpleasant to say the least. If you make your money off tourists, the least you can do is be polite to them. Especially when they are trying their best to be good to you.

It was a pleasure to visit the other two sectors. We stayed at Engelberg. I cannot for the life of me imagine what Heaven can possibly have that betters this. What can the man/woman up there possibly add?  The greenery, the cows with the gentle bells, the clouds elegantly crossing your balcony, the lovely people..I think Engleberg and I think peace, happiness, love, relaxation, beauty. Enough said.

Geneva, Lucerne, Zurich - it is beauty that never bores.

Italy

Love, love, love the mad Italians. They did not care that you did not speak Italian. They did not care that they did not know English. They could not understand, for the life of them, why that should stop us from having a conversation! Every Italian we met had something  random to say about Silvio Ber*coni and in the same breath 'la bella bambino!' - our little imp!

Rome was the ultimate historical paradise. Give Naples a big miss except for the lovely island of Capri. Venice - the Gondoliers and their songs.. St Mark Square and the Pigenos - a 'Namaste' from every Venetian you meet - an awesome memory.

 Florence - Read about the Stendhal Syndrome - it is no exaggeration..I was stunned by the sheer beauty of the city.

Walk the city of Rome - in the night. The experience is like none other.

Sistine Chapel's ceilings by Michaelangelo and the Piata in Vatican are artworks that even an art idiot like me could stare at for hours for and be mesmerised..so do not miss them at any cost!

Singapore

Visited twice for work. The rainy and sunny afternoons were an unexpected pleasure (when indoors!) Stayed at the Swissotel. The staff were lovely beyond words!

Do not miss the 'Night Safari' - especially if you have kids (or animal-loving husbands like me!). Never made it to Sentosa Island so nothing more to add here.

Orchard road is good for shopping ( or was when I visited 6 years ago!)

Maldives

A collection of islands that take your breath away even as you travel from the airport to one of those islands to your hotel! But nothing much to do except to parasail, snorkel, swim and relax by the beach!

Went for an off-site conference at work so it was an all paid for holiday with work colleagues!

Enough said :)

Did not see enough people to know how they were. Was busy relaxing :)

Mauritius

Unlike Maldives, there is a little bit more to do than just deep sea diving and snorkeling ..you could visit the seven coloured earth at Chamarel or visit the Pamplemousse botanical garden or watch the sunset/sunraise at Ile aux cerfs..

A perfect destination to unwind and relax.

Though the island is populated by many Indian origin farmers, they fiercely identify themselves as mauritians and most know no other language other than French/Creole.

Nepal
It was a good 10 years ago and all I can remember is the river rafting in the Bhote Koshi river ..it was the first time and there was no looking back after that.. fell in love with River Rafting forever..

Once again - a work sponsored trip - so the entire team stayed at a 5 star hotel and it was simply awesome!

Was not otherwise very impressed. People of course were pleasant and kind.

The United States of America
A family trip to visit my brother. My first trip abroad when I was just 16. Was impressed with everything. The statue of liberty, LosAngeles, Washington, the Florida beaches, Washington, the friendly Americans saying 'hi' wherever you went.. the entire 'foreign' experience including the Pittsburg temple! :)

Seems so naive now.

Have no idea what the 'older' me will now feel!

Other than the above.. have been living in the UK for a while now.. Edinburgh and London are simply awesome..K used to work from Southbank, London and visiting him was always a pleasure for more than one reason!

 The British stiff upper lip - is no exaggeration. They rarely show their emotions, they are unfailingly polite even when they are extremely angry with you, they value their own as well as your privacy but unfortunately they have an astonishingly vague historical knowledge of their own country's involvement in other countries. (of course they know the British had colonies and they 'modernised' those colonies..but that is that!)

Given that my kid is now British..I hope to teach her a lot more than what her school history books teach her about the history between her country and the country of her parents' origin.

Anyways.. in India, have lived and worked in Gujarat, Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore and Chennai. Given that I lived in South Gujarat - only saw the peaceful and vegetarian side of them! Vapi and Baroda will always be my favourite destinations. Delhi - less said the better. Mumbai - not for me but I can see why mumbaikars love their city. Bangalore - No other city has had it's potential squandered so badly! Chennai - again not for me but I can see why Chennaiites love their city.

Coimbatore - There is no other place/people that I love /respect more and there is no other place where I do not fit  anymore..at all.. THE irony of my life..

Lastly there is an awesome place in Kumbakonam called 'Mantra Veppathur'..had a lovely time in the last visit to India.. a fantastic place to relax and unwind..

P.S Special  mention - Marriott Courtyard Chennai - stayed here in the last visit to India ..the best service we ever experienced. An absolutely brilliant team of service personnel.

Things to remember before undergoing major surgery

a. Shower with Hibiscrub the day before and the day of the surgery. Keeps the germs away. Just like that.

b. Stop eating 24 hours before you go under anesthesia. Puking on the surgery table is something you do not want to do.

c. Talk out all your fears with a good friend of yours. You will feel unbelievably free and light hearted post that! (Thanks a ton CK!)

d. Once you cross that bridge of fear..you will cross every day till the day of your surgery with hope, optimism and a determination to make every minute count!

e. Make sure your loved ones are the last faces you see before you go under and the first faces you see on waking up..believe me you..it doubles your rate of recovery

f. Go on a trip. Yes. Before your surgery, go on a lovely trip with those you care about. Your body relaxes and your mind has sunny memories to fall back upon while recovering in the hospital bed.

g. Get back to work as soon as you can. Especially if your co-workers are British. They believe in Dignity in adversity and will simply love you for it.

h. Marry a good man. A telugu man preferably. I did. Nothing in life seems to faze them. Everything is to be taken lightly. (Light-ka theesko!) Anything can be handled. One step at a time. No fuss. But always there. Right by you ( Not behind, not ahead but by you..holding your hand) Every. Single. Time.