December 2022 part 4

K along with us also visited his almamater, CI**T and had a lovely time in the campus, visiting all the old haunts. We then went to my mum's place to say good bye. R was chatting with her and mum was so delighted that she gave her a chain and a ring. R was very proud :)

My uncle and aunt just happened to call to announce the birth of their granddaughter in the US. They were delighted to know we were there and immediately all plans changed and before leaving to the airport, they insisted to take us to the 'Annalaks**' restaurant. R delighted them as well and they insisted that we wrap up our work and let htem know once we reach the airport so they could come and see us off.

Our 'work' was to buy some tanjore paintings and also visit B, M and A at B's childhood home. Once again, we had a lovely time. R had mentioned she felt like having Samosa, so there it was big and small, with of course other home made delights. Young A also sang 3 lovely songs, one kannana kanne, one ranga puravihara and one sanskrit murugan song - beautifully.

 We went from there to the airport where my uncle and aunt had kindly got some nochi leaves to cure my throat cold and gave us some more home made stuff as well.

We moved to another hotel nearer to C and V ( they had both sets of inlaws living with them, so we opted not to stay at their home this time) and went on our usual end of the year trip. Had the best time at Mtham resort, dancing for folk music, lovely food, swimming, archery, shooting, table tennis, bad minton, oonjal, bullock cart rides, kayiru kattil tea with bajji and chutney, pump set kuliyal, milking of hte cows etc - but C fell unwell ( later diagnosed as swine flu contracted from her fil), so they left early with little K who was coughing as well. Ra was owed time with our R ( due to his trip earlier), so he stayed back with us. We had a lovely time and visited Mahabs  five chariots. Could not go to the shore temple due to the crowd and heat. 

We then visited Marin* mall where the kids had a blast with fish spa, pizza, pasta, icecream, samosa, cake - Ra had to match K's fun with R after all! :) Came back to the hotel and R and Ra played fooze ball. Dropped Ra back on new year's eve but could not do the cake cutting and celeberation as C was still unwell.

We had a photo shoot for a family album and R had a blast with professional make up and hair dressing done.

Last minute shopping and packing was done and on the eve of our leaving, we ensured we did our ritual cake cutting and celeberation for ushering in the new year.

The grandparents came to spend some time with R, so R, K and the grandparents had lunch in the hotel and R played fooze ball and chess with her thathiya while I wrapped up the packing. Visited the nearby temple as always before leaving.

Came back refreshed, rebonded and ready to face the challenges of our building site once again! :)

PS one of hte best bits was that we had a consultation with a Homeo doctor and with her medication, R's monthly troubles had a drastic change, int hat they were dramatically reduced in volume and hence the trip was relatively smooth. Yet to see the effect of the remaining tablets.

December 2022 part 3

 Too tired to document the trip day by day, so just a few highlights

Food throughout the trip was awesome. Be it the sw**ggy hot chocolate, sugar cane juice, andhi* kadai, South Indian village specialities or the meals at C’s place or the breakfast at Mari**, or vasantha bh** at Phoen** mall or Savya * rasa Kerala meal or ‘inti**bo**Janam on our weddding day or the best of all meals at the Marutham** res**ort ( ulundhu kali, Kambu kanji, avarakkai poriyal and lots of the other food that took me to healthy 80s Kalyana sappadu)

R was praised by both K’s grandparents as well as my  mum and uncle and aunt and sister in law for being friendly, polite, cleaning up after her, helping them out, attempting to speak tamil always and for her ‘lovely’ habits. She made me inordinately proud and even when they teased me about how I must be a very strict mum, while I expected her to agree with them and complain, she just hugged and kissed me, in response. I was on top of the world and though confused by her behaviour which contrasted with our fights which still continued when we were alone, was very very proud.

R, Ra and K, the three musketeers as always had the greatest fun. Ra , K and C came to visit us the day after we arrived and the usual bonding picked up right away. Ra had a school trip to go to, so just little K and R enjoyed  with K in the hotel pool and mall while C and I went to our ritual T naga* shopping. They had a blast, we had a blast and poor R was in tears epwhen he returned from his trip as he hated missing out, though he himself had great fun in his trip. 

Sometimes the young one and I went by ourselves to the mall where I got her a blow dry and I got my nails done and we shopped and bonded.

Given the health actionconcerns we both went for a daylong health check up and it was worse than being in a busy railway st best.  Those couple of days were the worst and I picked up a nasty throat infection that troubled me painfully for 8 days. Never again at Ap*ll* Centre! 

Though the follow up fell on our wedding day, C kindly took R for the day ( and what a day R had, being pampered by C with bangles and shopping and picking up young K from school) , we wrapped up the follow up and went for a lovely andhra lunch, parthasarathy temple and marina beach. We also accidentally dicsovered that the lady providing me with blouse was S **Sekh**r's daughter in law. We went inside so had a glimpse at the house as well.

K and I went to Kanchipuram and visited the Kamashi temple, which was very clean and very well maintained. Athi varadhar, ekambara temple and on the advice of our friend, the chitragupta temple as well. The young one preferred to rest and was on face time throughout. We started quite early and hence finished all of it and had time to also go to the famous Bbu SAH shop. 

The young one was at her grandparents' house a lot and had a good time. She charmed them and their neighbours as well. She was not comfortable with the toilets there, hence our stay at the hotel. 

We went to mylapore temple with C and the boys and also finished a lot of the photo frames and lamps shopping there. The temple was as charming as always.

Two days before xmas, C's apartment had a xmas celebration party and it was awesome. In the outdoors there was food, music and dance by kids and parents. The best bit was the pet show where the apartment pets - including a tortoise, were presented by kids and parents. Browser, Maggie, Maran etc were some of the delightful participants. Made us miss our dear Coco lots!

Just before leaving for coim, R and I had yet another massive fight. This time C came to visit to reconcile us and advised us both strongly. We seemed to understand each other a little more and it definitely helped. We all went to the mall to watch 'Avta the wate world' in the freezing AC of the mall and caught dinner at V bhavan. late in the night.. K fell sick the next day.

The 4 day coimbatre trip was awesome as well. The flight reached on time and we checked in to the I*on annapo*rna hotel. The rooms were big and nice but service all throughout the city and especially the hotel was apalling. K fell sick the first two days and rested in the room. I took the young one to my school , showed her around and also to my childhood favourite haunts of laxmi complex and 'Selva singh' stores. We both bonded quite well. B, M and young A, our friends from Solihull delighted us with a dinner treat from the fine dining K*ve restaurant along with their mum. They gave us lovely gifts of silk saree, silk dhoti and silk pavadai and sattai for the young one. Also, the divine tanjore painting of Muruga for our new abode. 

We visited my sis in law's new cbe flat at Cas* Grand* and the young one spent some good time with her cousin N.  They were taking a break here post N's graduation and will return to their home in the US post a month or so.

I took the young one to visit my mum, who she delighted with her tamil and general friendliness.

The next day we started early to Martha Malai. On the way we picked up M. M, the young one and I climbed all the stairs, while K who was still recovering came up by car. We had a fantastic dharshan and M send me and R on a second round since I was so happy. Truly a brother from another mother! :)

We then dropped M. We also visited cousin N with K and took her to perur temple. Once again a lovely dharshan and the kovil yaanai darisanam was done,

Continued

December 2022 part 2

 K had, despite everything planned the trip very well as well. Just to add to the work, house build, shenanigans of R and I and the planning of the trip and taking care of Coco who had decided to do middle of the night outings, he had also attended and cleared his interview for the next contract and had an offer on hand.

We had planned to spend a day extra in Dubai as I wanted to visit the gold souk though we have holidayed  extensively in Dubai. To be fair, R helped us with the luggages, the transit etc and was not being a spoilt brat. The airlines had organised a stay for us in a hotel  (Coptho**rne)and had given us 2 rooms. To maintain peace I took a room and K and R the other. We had not told R, so when I turned away to another room, she was mildly shocked and came immediately over to hug me and ask if I would not be lonely alone. She and I were not on talking terms just for a couple of hours before then. It is moments like this that reassure me how intrinsically sweet she is, despite everything. We slept well

The room was, clean, ample space and all three meals were provided. I really liked the buffet spread that was on offer, all three times. We went to the souk, did some shopping and walked back the marina where K had spent time as an youngster fresh out of his engineering as his first job from campus was in the UAE

We also purchased gifts for C and V and also Addu at the airport. Even at the souk, R was very friendly to strangers and generally polite to everybody. There was a Saudi lady sat next to her, fully covered  and she piped up’ I like your eye make up’. They all immediately smiled and complimented me on my friendly teen. If only they knew!

We landed around 8 am in Chennai. The flights were ok but the food was terrible. K’s dear friend SKN was a big shot in  Chennai, so had arranged for a special attendant to usher us through the airport formalities on a priority basis and also for the golf cart to collect us straight out of the flight. R was mighty embarrassed as none of us were expecting this and were stunned.

An innova car was waiting for us but getting out of the parking from the airport was chaotic. We reached our West**n Vela**chery hotel. SKN had arranged an early check in for us, so it was a relief to check in and relax. We did not opt for the hotel breakfast but ordered healthy fare from sw**ggy and loved it. Our friend V had already arranged for local sims and phones, so K immediately called his parents and they were delighted to talk to R and could not wait to see her.

..continued 

December 2022

 Year 2022 especially after the young one turned a teen was shocking to say the least. It was as though a switch had been flipped and my sweet and innocent little one just realised that I could perhaps be an enemy spy planted to cause her harm or some such! We have always had arguments and clashes but these assumed epic proportions. She did not want to be ‘told’ to do anything, be it breakfast or dressing up or general hygiene or sleeping hours. Everything became a battle and every generally agreed rule was broken. Us being stuck in a poorly insulated, noisy flat wit K going through his busiest and most stressful contract while we balanced the house build and the delays there on, only added to the stress.

Due to not drinking water and a really stupid impulsive act, we had to take her overnight to the hospital three times. The first time was after K had not literally slept for two days due to ongoing programme work. We were really angry with her general thoughtlessness and were  at the end of our tether. I started crying at the drop of a hat and started having chest heaviness. One day this got so bad that on citing the symptoms to non urgent care in a call, they immediately sent an ambulance and I had to spend a day at the hospital getting cardiac checks done. Turns out there was an inversion/ anomaly in the heart beat but they were not unduly worried.

She was turning away from her close friends at school as well but at the same time doing well in her studies and won a Physics presentation as well. 

Our dear friend S was facing similar issues with her daughter, so she came over with R's favourite potato fry and took her for a long walk. She came back and said R was as innocent as ever and is only missing chats with a sibling to complain about parents, which all her other peers seem to have. Otherwise she had nothing bad to say about us. :(

We had planned to do our house warming before leaving, unfortunately I had to cancel invitations sent out due to supply issues with the glass lanterns.

It is in this context that we left to India. The trip to the airport was fraught as R and I just could not get along. k had a tough time keeping us civil to each other.

..continued