Calvin one liners...

"Dad, how come you live in this house with mom, instead of in an apartment with several scantily clad female roommates."
"I am only civil because i don't know any swear words"
"i think it's time we had a new dad around here. When does your term of office expire?"
calvin on being hit by a vicious susie snow-ball,"Santa's gonna skip this block for years."
"I'm a man of few words"
Hobbes "If you read more, you can increase your vocabulary!"
"In the short term , it would make me happy to go play outside.
In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful.
But in the very long term, i know what will make better memories"
'you cant just turn on creativity like a faucet,you have to be in the right mood'
'why suffer learning when ignorance is instantanious'
"Why should I work for any results? Its almost as if I dont deserve it !"
"I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have the slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway. "
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
he sneezes and says "i am leaking brain lubricants.."
I've got plenty of common sense, I just choose to ignore it.
"That is the difference between me and the rest of the world... Happiness is not enough for me..I demand EUPHORIA"
Mothers are the necessity of invention.
"Life is unfair, but how come it's never unfair in my favor?"