Our Family

Mummy : What do you like about amma and appa R?

R: You are very kind, you never fight, you never shout at me, you always allow me to read or watch the tele ....

Daddy : Very Good R! That is exactly what you should say if somebody  else asks about our family! But, really.. what do you ' really' like about amma and appa?

Mummy: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Trip to Severn Valley

Yesterday was another beautiful British summer day. We we went to Severn valley. The view from the French windows of the tea house was stunning to say the least. The valley full of trees,with the steam train chugging through was a sight to behold!

We first went on the riverside trail and then on the woodlands trail. It was a good 3 hours walk along the bluebells, watching the canoers  and boaters row past with stops here and there to listen to the lovely brooks amongst the woods and picnicking on the rocks with a view to the river.

Both trails had cosy natural coves made of trees with the sun shining through the golden preautumnal leaves..we had a lovely family time sitting and chatting in these coves or simply sitting together holding hands with our wriggly seven year old sitting on our laps playing the 'silent game'. ( Though this did not stop the young one from saying 'pause game' and proceeding to say whatever she had to!)

We also took the vintage steam train for a small part of the way back and the view  as it went through the greenery was astounding to say the least.

On a whim, we also checked with one of our friends who had newly moved nearby to see if they wanted to catch up. A quick hello turned out to be a long visit with a game of cricket, wine and a long chatty dinner and Oreos ice cream for dessert!

Their house is way away from the maddening crowd and extremely elegant. It had a huge garden with lovely trees and a field beyond. It was on a kind of 'millionaire's row' , so the experience was quite novel for us. Their young one was a good friend of ours' and an ex classmate so it was also a surprise 'gift' for the two young ones.

They had a whale of a time looking for rabbit burrows, disrupting the cricket game and generally exploring around the garden and the house!

We came home around  10.30 pm with the kid fast asleep with a smile on her face!

What a wonderful day it was!

Here's to many many more such days!

US trip August 2015

It has been a year since the US trip but wanted to record some thoughts for memories' sake.

The main purpose of the trip was to meet my brother's family in Atlanta and get to know each other better as families. Which we did.

I and the little one went for three weeks and K joined us after the 1st week.

Chitlu enjoyed the huge trampoline in the back yard and loved trailing her niece who was 14 years old and a musical prodigy of sorts!

She loved running through the huge ambling house ( as houses in the US tend to be!)

She was very comfortable with my patient and loving sister in law.

Though she was initially wary of my very tall and reasonably built nephew..she soon got comfortable with him as well.

Of course her mama ( her uncle,  my brother) was gentle, playful and fondly indulgent with her and allowed her to call him 'dino' since she thought he must have born with the dinosaurs as he said he was 48 years old!

Unbelievably K had 4  of his college mates/ ex colleagues living around the same locality and we were asked to dinner at each of their places over the course of our stay there. Chinnu
with her British accent and huge brown eyes was a hit everywhere we went!

We were taken to the Atlanta aquarium which was huge and wonderful and the 4d shows were her favourite!

In the zoo she loved petting the animals and calling her Raja mama to view each and every one of the creepy crawlies that he was patently averse to!

We also went tubing in the Chatahoochee river! It was as funny as it could get! The sun was shining bright so we thought the tubing would be a breeze in the cool water. What we did not realize was that the tube left us burning all over with just our bums immersed in ice cold water! (Imagine a flat lying tyre - that was the tube!) It was  a long winding float down the river and by mistake K , the little one and my niece got off the tubes on a small strip before the actual landing which was further down.

I could not the bear the thought of going farther away in that silly tube, so when I could not navigate to this stupid (wrong!) stretch , from the middle of the river, I simply  jumped into the river (off the tube) and pushed the tube away. Only later realised the depth of the river (!) and started swimming desperately to the shore!

In the meanwhile, K is simultaneously shouting encouragements to me to swim safely and asking the other tubers to please recover the tube that I had so inconsiderately pushed away! ''20 dollars, 20 dollars'' he kept saying! (Grrrr!)

Finally when we all tied ourselves together and floated down to the actual strip.. we found that some bright spark from the tubing company had carefully fished out the tube I had sent floating without once wondering whatever happened to the poor soul who was supposed to be on that tube!

My nephew who was 17 found the entire episode hilarious and would not stop teasing me and K! :)

Never again shall I ever go tubing!
********************************************************************************
The highlight was our trip to Florida with our cousin, her hubby and her two lovely boys. The three families stayed in a holiday townhouse and we all got on very well. Pattu slept on a Mickey Mouse bunk bed and was very thrilled!

We celebrated her birthday along with one the boys and had great fun decorating the house with balloons and bubbles and donning party hats and cutting cakes!

She had breakfast with the princesses at Disney and of course was deriliously happy. She was dressed as Elsa complete with tiara and everyone at the resort addressed her as a princess ! The employees at Disney Florida were a delight especially after the sour faced ones at the Paris Disneyland.

We went to Epcot and to the other resorts. Her favourite ride amongst everything was splash world and her favourite show was Beauty and the Beast where she was made part of the show along with the other kids!

My favourite bit was the disney fireworks in the evening. It was truly magical and memorable. We saw the same in Paris too but we were shivering in the August weather and the crowded alleys did not help the enjoyment. Here, I laydown right in front of the castle lawn and thoroughly enjoyed the magical show!

The trip to NASA (Kennedy Space centre, Florida) was quiet enjoyable as well. The 4 d film on space was quite an experience.

Once back to Atlanta we went on a day's trek to Amicalola falls and enjoyed the view from the top of the valley below.

The trip to the botanical gardens in Atlanta  was great as well.

One special personality to remember from the trip was 'Star Bucks', the cute chocolate Pomeranian in one of K's friend's house that Pattu petted so much that he growled only for the second time in his entire life!

We still tease her about that!

Perspective

This summer of 2016 is turning into one of the best ever! The weekends have been full of sun and breeze and with good friends for company we have been exploring Bosworth park, Ryton pools park etc. Boating in the lakes of Bosworth park, walking around the huge lake, picnicking ..repeating the same at Ryton pools with the additional perk of riding our bikes through the dense woods has been nothing short of fantastic!

Our young one rode the bike with us, the entire distance we did and also did the hikes and was still active in the evening too! Touchwood for the fitness!

The three kids - our R, her best  friend S, and our new kiddie neighbour N had a blast on the play areas, the muddy pool and boating. The ice creams in different colours helped their bonding too;)

No longer my little one, the young one also went Strawberry and Rasberry picking at Matlins farm followed by a trip to the war memorial park wither friend T. Her school friend T and her then came home and played till 11 pm!

She is definitely having a more roaring social life than either of us!

We also went to two houses for varalakshmi viratham and the other ladies there talk about having seen her the years before in these functions but do not remember me at all!

Now, to the real point of this post. While driving to and back from these places we get some nice songs on or the chart toppers from SAAVN. Sometimes we go nostalgic and this way we were listening to ' Taareef karoon kya uski jisne tumhe banaya! ( How do I praise the one who made you!) which is a romantic track of yester years.

Of late there has been a similar tamil song that goes ' Evan unnai peththan? (Who (the male equivalent) the hell gave birth to you!) which is also supposedly romantic.

K usually is very chilled out about this ( like he anyways is about everything else in life!) so I was quite surprised when he quipped for the 'Tareef karoon' song - how beautiful and elegant this song is when compared to the crass version of the latest song!

My suspicions were immediately aroused. I said ' That is new for you.. you never really bothered about these things before!'

K sheepishly replied ' Well, I now have a daughter and they could be , you know, if you take the literal meaning, in a way singing about me!

Aha! So that is the matter!

So  looks like God knew exactly what he was doing when he made K the adoring dad of a daughter huh?

:)

Paphos!

Back from beautiful Paphos and unlike the US trip..would rather write before I forget!

Stayed at the Aliathon fishing village which was also opposite the Louis Pedra beach. Personally for me..walking along this beach and going to sit on the stones jutting in to the waves to view the sun set in to the sea in warm pink and orange tones was the highlight of the trip!

As the little one commented ' Look mama!Sea and sun meeting and greeting in pink!'

For the little one the Jolly Rogers Pirate cruise where they played games, did some pirate face painting , magic show ( especially where the pigeon popped out of the hat! ) and the funny acrobatics was the highlight!

This despite her joining us in parasailing over the Louis Pedra beach ( where the rest of the crowd clapped for her for her fearlessness as we landed on the boat! ) and swimming in the sea ( across 9 metres deep water)  in the blue lagoon on a cruise there!  Though I must admit that due to the saltiness of the sea water she did say she disliked the sea swim.

The holiday village itself was loads of fun where we swam everyday in the big pool and in the paddling pool. The little one and her dad had enormous fun doing what they called Tumbly wumbly's'  ( where the kid gets flipped over under water by her daddy!) and diving off  and swimming lengths racing to see who reaches the other end first!

She also had a great time at the First Choice kids club chocolate party from where she emerged smeared in chocolate all over! Of course, what is not to like in that!

What I particularly liked was that when we went parasailing ..not only was she game enough to try it but also asked sensible questions about having to land in a moving boat and what she needs to do to land safely.

She however refused to go to kids club saying firmly that her idea is to spend more time with us and not making new friends. We were gently admonished for having suggested otherwise. :(

K had a wonderful time with the blue lagoon cruise and spent 3 hours swimming in the emerald sea.  I swam too but after an hour came on the boat to enjoy the lovely breeze and the live music not to mention the barbecue lunch and cold coffee!

I also have to say how friendly and relaxed all the locals were and it was a pleasure to interact with any of them. They were really lovely to kuttima and that for me is the deal maker!

On the negative side the resort massages were over priced and the excursions should never be booked through TUI as they did not deliver all that was promised and we seemed to have paid atleat 50percent more than those who booked onsite!

Never mind..we spent a lot of quality time together and the extra money is for a lesson well learnt for next time ! :)

The Dubai Trip!

Jotting titbits for memories sake!

a. The weather, cleaniness and the company ( V and C's adorable boys and their niece were wonderful company for the little one!) made this one of the best trips ever!

b. Loved the miracle garden. The wonderful weather was an added bonus.

c. Burj Khalifa was wonderful but missed clear views due to the clouds. However whatever we could see through the clouds was still fantastic!

d. The Dune bashing was ok. But the dunes themselves were mesmerizing..

e. The dolphinarium was surprisingly not the same as the ones we saw in Florida or Italy or Spain!  This is because the dolphins played some games amongst themselves without the instructor being involved at all.. I personally found it really good!

f. The wild wadi water park was good fun. I particularly enjoyed the aritifical beach with the warm waves. I floated on my back and lay peacefully looking at the clear sky. It was, for me, a beautiful experience.

g.The dubai water front was lovely. We went on a family exclusive boat ride and I had great fun!

h. The little ones enjoyed the Dubai underwater aquarium and zoo. But after the London sea life centre, the Spain aquarium and  the Atlanta aquariam, the little one was not impressed!

i. The fountain show was wonderful in the night with the music and did I mention the wonderful weather ? :)

j.I forget the name of the beach we went to - but it was clean, the water was lovely and we all had a blast!

Staying in a 2 bedroom apartment with V's family was great fun as one kid or the other did or said something naughty or charming. Even the little one's fights or tears were fond memories for me. To quote just one example, the littlest was 3 years old and fancied himself to be a lion roaring at everybody in his tiny voice. One day he got off his breakfast and announced ' The lion is now going to go for a wee!'. It was so spontaneous that it took a while for the rest of us to stop laughing! The 'lion' was mighty offended! :)

My precious daddy

1. 39 year old daddy is going out into the garden to fetch something..6 year old daughter pipes up ' Mummy Daddy is going out without his coat on! He may catch a cold! '. Dear pattuma.. your precious daddy  is much stronger than you think .. and I do not need to hold the coat and get his hands into his sleeves like I do for you!

2. Daddy is fixing the trampoline for his darling daughter now that summer is finally here. The little one comes rushing in. ' Mummy please may I have a band aid?'. ' Why Kannamma? ' . ' Daddy has got a scratch in his hand and it is bleeding. He has not even seen it. I do not want it to hurt! '. Need I say more?

3. Dad is away travelling. I pick her up from school and am driving home. 'So, what did you do at school sweetheart?'. ' I was thinking about daddy and missing him!'

4. This happened when the little one was barely 5 years old. We were at a softplay area and having not able to spot the little one amongst all the other children, dad gets up from our restaurant area and goes to check if his little one is safe. Shoes are not allowed in the soft play area so he removes them at the entrance to the area. While he is searching on one side, the little one comes out through the other side, spots her dad's shoes and brings them over to me saying ' Mummy, these are MY daddy's shoes. Somebody took it there and I have brought it back! '. 

In the meanwhile Daddy comes having not found his daughter and as a bonus, having lost his shoe! ' I did not know even people in this country stole shoes! I am very surprised'. I had to then explain to him that the 'thief' was none other than his own precious darling!

Letters to my Princess -4

Dear Pattumma..

You made me burst with pride again last week..

Basically you started to learn to ride your bike with the stabilisers off just last week. In a matter of half an hour you had cracked it and albeit unsteadily - you were whizzing past a lot of amused joggers (and their dogs!)  :)

So.. this went on for a while and appa was worried you would be too tired.! Now-as parents of an precious, much awaited for, much loved and only child - we do plead guilty to being over protective of you and being 'helicopter' parents that may do you more harm than good..

However, that day we all wanted to end the day with an icecream and appa suggested that he would carry the bike while you and I made our way to the icecream van that was quiet a distance away..

Just hoping to tease you I said.. 'No daddy ..do not carry her bike.. if she wants her icecream, she would have to cycle for it!'.. And pat came your reply ' Do not worry Daddy.. I want to earn this icecream! ' and you rode like the wind to the van :) Only some 'Rocky' style back ground music was missing!

We know how much these things tire you - so we know what an effort this is.

And this is not just an one off! Your uncle cannot praise you enough for your positive and sunny attitude to every day of your life, your teachers keep talking about  your great attitude and how you think hard work is something to be proud about..and I cannot but notice how even my temper tantrums fail before your persistent beaming sunshine attitude!

You are small, of low weight and height even for a year younger to you and you are always the youngest in any class due to the date of your birth..but you happily refuse to acknowledge any of the above and just focus on punching well above your weight..

Sweet heart.. no Diva 'Earns' her icecream or any other reward  as stylishly as you do my darling..

Love you to the moon and back..

Amma

PS

You did also learn Division and earn your stars for the same this same week but this was way more fun!

PPS

You also turned a corner in your handwriting..lovely, neatly spaced sentences making their way now..well done chitlu!

Born Barrister!

Since the time we have come back from our holiday in the US, the little one's swimming has undergone drastic changes. She now swims lengths very confidently in the adult's pool without once touching the floor. Also, she is able to swim underwater for quiet a while.

On her dad's birthday, as has become the family tradition on any of our birthdays, we went for a family swim. She thoroughly enjoyed the session and was chasing me along the length of the pool.. I ran while she swam and caught up with me with ease :)

However, I am always terrified that she might get overconfident and do something impulsive and put herself in danger in the pool. So when we were walking back from the outdoor pool and she ran in to the indoor pool and put her foot in, I said ' How many times have I told you not to get into the pool without amma or appa? Please have the patience to wait!'

Her reply ' Amma, if you waited for 10 minutes, you would have seen that I was only dipping my feet and did not get into the pool. You need to be more patient amma!'

Gulp!

And she turned 6 just a few days back.

Double Gulp!

I rest my case.

PS

This monday is her assessment at the preparatory school. A big step for her and us. I am tensed and scared for her and us. ( The pounds involved!) Dad and daughter however, are cool as usual.

Letters to my daughter -3

Pattu thangam

You are going to be 6 years old in a month and how many moments of pride you have given us already! The youngest in class and yet a couple of years ahead in Reading and comprehension. Tiniest in class but 2nd price in skipping. Special award for 'original' poetry writing and the poem being read out in the school assembly! Swimming in the big swimming pool with those tiny little hands and legs! Playing notes on the piano that amma cannot manage to!

But none of the above beat the below

- You never ever choose between me and appa.. no matter how many times we ask you, you always say you love both of us equally :)
- You love to hug and kiss me and appa. Any time of the day.
- You cannot stay sad or cross for more than 5 minutes. The twinkle in your eyes and the sunshiny smile is always around the corner - no matter what!
- I call you a 'Born Barrister'. You can very logically argue and turn any negotiation to your favour. I know you want to be a GP during the weekday and a 'face paint lady' (!) in the weekends.. but I see you having a natural flair to be a barrister!
-You love holding hands, sitting on my lap and generally cuddling. I love the times we cuddle together and read a book or watch the telly
- I once told you 'never to scream'. That evening you had your 'Stage coach' performance of Charlie and the chocolate factory. You had to scream along with some of the others on stage. I loved the way you were the only one looking straight into the audience at me, with your big , chocolatey eyes and refusing to scream :). I love you sweetheart for listening to me so diligently :)
-I keep telling you ' be kind to others' and you said ' Amma don't just say be kind, tell me what to say to be kind! What is kind to me is not kind to you :)'
-I love that no matter how much you love your chocolates you never eat them without offering amma and appa a share
- No matter how much you love eating something, you are able to say - I have had a bit, I do not want any more. (The only thing that you can never have enough is playing tag!)

Of course you also have trouble waiting till somebody completes their sentence before voicing your opinion, you still spill your food, you are the fussiest eater I know, your handwriting is horrendous and you still get your way with appa by shamelessly using tears... but with all the good and the bad and everything in between there is nobody else and nothing else that has made me this happy, content and absolutely at peace.

Love you to infinity and back thangame!

Hugs always
Amma

Letters to my daughter - 2

My dear little fairy princess..

I am back again with my heart bursting full with a need to spill at least some of these overwhelming emotions..

Of late I have been raising the bar for you on everything - what you should read, write, say, do.

You, in all your innocence are trying your level best to fulfill my expectations without really understanding why the sudden pressure. Just the other day, I was so upset because you had been naughty at school.  I was being so harsh with you and we both raised our voices. But it was you who calmed down first, looked up at me and asked so sweetly ' If I play the piano beautifully today - will that make you smile amma? '.

May be it is normal for a little kid to ask this of her mum but I was so touched (and a little bit ashamed that you were being the grown up  and I, the child..)

Just because I have lost precious children before and after you.. it is unfair of me to expect you to make up for all those losses and  have the best of the lot of the them. I am elated, grateful, blessed and permanently changed for the better because you fought with the powers to be, to come to your dad and me. I am glad you chose us. I am glad you fought to be with us. There is nothing more that I should possibly ask of you other than letting you grow in to the wonderful , spirited sweet heart that you so obviously are.

I remember, some time back..in fact, till the time you were a toddler, as soon as you got up in the morning you used to search for my face, spot it and immediately your face will just bloom from sleepy confusion into a lovely smile that infused your face (and my heart) with joy! That used to be the best part of my day.

Now, as we cuddle in bed at night, read a book together, talk about our day and giggle about how we fought with each other at tea time..I marvel at your growth and spirit and  logical mind and generosity and feel so proud and blessed.

That has now become the best part of my day.

We tell you daily that you are the bestest, you are our favourite and we love you the most in this world..but Kannamma.. what we are actually trying to tell you is this

'Thank you for being you!'

Love you to the moon and back
Amma

India Trip 2014

This year's trip to India was more awesome than the previous ones.. Special credit goes to Kumarakom lake resort where we stayed for 4 fun filled days.. The property was most beautiful, what with traditional Kerala houses turned into Villas facing the serene Vembanad lake..

We stayed in a heritage villa facing the lake.. the villa was right by a lovely stream of water where cranes and birds came in for a reprieve from the April heat.. the villa had a private pool and boy did the little one have fun there..

We jumped into the pool as soon as we checked in and the little one swam for atleast 3 hours every day for the four days we stayed there..

Over and above that the infinity pool that merged into the lake was our daily destination as soon as we woke up in the morning..

The sunrise cruise across the backwaters of Kerala early in the morning..passing through mango, banana and coconut trees fully laden with fruits and green leaves was a memory that will sustain me through the vagaries of at least another year!

The best part as a family was when it rained and we played about in the privacy of our pool..The best part for me was skinny dipping in the room pool late in the night looking at the stars twinkling away..

Apart from the above, we stayed at the Residency in Coimbatore - the lesser said about it the better..

Had a wonderful time at 'handsome' grandpa's house.. the beautifully placed, cooling mountain wind facing 'oonjal' was a big hit with the three of us..

The little one had a good time playing with her cousins at her 'Doctor Grandpa's' house and making loads of new friends at her 'Pattima's' house...

We also visited the Ranganthaswamy temple at Srirangapatna..where K had proposed and I had said 'Yes' 11 years back..So we had a fun time explaining to the little one how mummy and daddy decided to become Husband and Wife and she was very cross we had gone ahead without having consulted her!

Marriott at Bangalore upgraded us to a 'Junior Suite' and as usual we had great fun there as well as the ' executive lounge' with a view of night time Bangalore from the balcony!

Meeting R and S(my ex boss and ex-colleague) at the 'Tiffin box' was a wonderful experience, more so for the great fun we had! Missed H though! He was busy trekking in Nepal right admist the avalanches just then..

Of course all fun has to end and coming back home we have just discovered a small wet patch  in the roof and we are in full panic mode now!

God save us.

Mr This and Ms That..

From the time the little one has started going to school, life here in the A household has gotten much more interesting..

Whenever she is caught doing something wrong, the little imp lets her imagination run riot in developing stories that tell us why it went wrong..

She loves to carry my handbag..while we are ready to go out somewhere we suddenly here a thump and the handbag is down the stairs with the little one standing right on top of the stairs.

Her Dad and I sit her down and ask ' why did you throw the handbag down the stairs you naughty girl!'

Her reply : ' But Ms Handbag said she wanted to jump down the stairs to show her friends how far she could jump! '

This is said with her hands making cute little gestures and her big innocent puppy eyes looking up at you as earnestly as they can!

Her Dad and I struggle hard to contain our laughter and remain focused on our endeavor to discipline this errant little Pinocchio!

Another morning - her scrambled eggs are spilled, albeit a little, around her plate.

'Why did you spill your food - you are a big girl aren't ya? I thought you could eat neatly all by yourself' - This is silly old boring me.

'But amma - Mr Egg said that he wanted to dance around my plate and mmm..mmm.. I just wanted to help him!'

Nowadays I have come to enjoy these little nuggets made up by the imp that I am not sure I want to stop them coming!

God help us trying to be strict parents of this one!

Ray of Sunshine

One of my good friends has written a book and has sweetly mentioned me in his 'Acknowledgments'.

It is not your 'name-in-the-print-dream-come-true' moment exactly but given the kind of year it has been and given how much I like and respect this guy - I think I will take it and celebrate it!

Thanks HS!

p.s.  The book by the way is called 'Start me up'. A good, honest book by a good, honest guy.

Ayrton Senna and Alain Prost

Just saw a heart-rending documentary about Ayrton Senna. Three time  Formula one world champion. Record holder for one of the most pole positions. Brazil's pride.

Last driver fatality in Formula one.

Though his initial entry into the game is drive purely by passion, slowly he seems to have developed keener instincts for the politics of the game and more importantly the art of playing the press.

The ping pong actions of rivalry between  Senna and Prost are not entirely Prost's fault as the documentary will have us believe.

Senna's 'strategy' of forcing opponents  to run too close to the pitwall is what seems to have kick started the rivalry in the first place. Not just that he further ups the game in the 1989 San Marino grandprix by breaking their agreement not to get into each other's way to the first corner.

Prost , with the alleged help of Jean-Marie Balestre  the then FIA president (who was later alleged to be an ex-Nazi)  and a French man like Prost gets Senna unfairly disqualified after his fantastic win at Suzuka, the Japanese Grand Prix.

They go a few more rounds with each other with Prost going as far as putting a clause in his contract with Williams to NOT sign up Senna as his team mate knowing fully well Senna's efforts at that time to sign up with Williams.

Despite this and more, post Senna's untimely and tragic demise at just 34 years old at the 1994 San Marino Grand Prix, Prost was one of six pall bearers and was a trustee of the Ayrton Senna institute.


I have always been amazed by the ability of men to generously forgive.

And the general inability of us women to do so.

Anyways, a meteoric life though it might be, I think Ayrton had packed more fun, fight, passion and love in his short life than most of us in a longer life time.

A wonderful watch. Recommended.

Letters to my daughter - 1

Dear Princess

For reasons that we both know..I would like to record forever the kind of mom I intend(ed) to be..so you will know..no matter what..

1. I love you. Irrespective of whether you play the piano well or swim well or read well or eat without spilling.. I love you just as you are and just as you will be. To know you is to love you and to be your mum is to love you unconditionally.

 I have a part to play in who you are and I will never turn away from that truth. If we are good, we are good together and if we are bad, we are so together.

2. We fight. A lot. You are just 4 years old but you have strong opinions and  clear communication. I encourage you to contradict me when you feel I am in the wrong. This is because I want you to develop a strong character, an individual thought process.

But remember.. we always fight with a view to Understand and be Understood. We never fight to win. Different opinions can co-exist happily. You might believe in something exactly opposite to me but that is not going to stop me from loving you or you me.

We shall never be that insecure in our beliefs.

3. Already you speak about things I do not understand ('One direction!' - At 4 years! I only know they are a band!) but I promise I will not judge you just because you seek things I do not understand. I will try my best to understand them with you and on my own. My values are going to be different to yours..but that does not mean you are bad or I am..it just means that we are different because we belong to different generations.

We shall always celebrate that difference and grow/evolve more because of it.

4.I love(d) every minute of being your mom. Yes, I have made sacrifices but those were conscious choices by me. Those sacrifices were made towards my happiness which at that moment was from yours. So, in all  you owe me - Absolutely Nothing.

I have always striven (with your dad's help) to maintain a balance between my space, my time and my duties to you. Never in my life do I want to hold you accountable for something I have missed out in my life. You have done nothing but enhance my life. Made me a better person. Relaxed me. Taught me to open my heart and love more.

If you want to give me something at all..it is this. Be true to your heart. Be sensible and safe in your life. Demand the best from life. Deserve nothing less.

Most importantly..love your child as unconditionally as or even better than I love you. And tell her to do the same to her/his child.

5. We do get angry with each other. Then we take a break from each other. (Mostly you declare that you are taking a break from me even while continuing to happily sit on my lap and play..) But we always get back. Because I am your mum and you are my daughter and we love each other and that is the final truth. We make it a point to say that we love each other before we take a break.

These breaks are, for now only for a grand total of 5 minutes.

But I know that when you are a teenager you might want longer breaks from me and I from you. We shall give each other that space. But at the end of it we will be eagerly waiting for each other - always. The break is for our anger not for our love. This is a promise and a commitment I learnt from your dad. And  now I pass it on to you.


6. I am always going to be jealous of the love between you and your dad. While I plan and pray and strive and practically stand upside down to let you know that I love you.. he does it so effortlessly. He seems to have communicated all of the above and more..without writing or saying a single word.

But remember - all said and done.. he is a 'boy' and we are the team committed to 'Girl power! ' So all the secrets are just between us!  :)

Love you sunshine!

Shall write more as and when my heart is again so full of love that I can't take it anymore without writing down atleast some of it :)

Amma.

Countries and People

Just counted 12 + countries that I have been to..want to jot down thoughts as they come before I forget my experience in each of those..

Do note that these are my very personal opinions and are to be taken with loads of salt..

I have not visited all the places in each of these countries - not even all the important, ' must visit' places..so this is more like 'notes to myself' than a guidance to others!

So here I go in descending order of  having visited them..

Turkey (Only Istanbul)

 Unbelievably child friendly. Everybody seems to love children. We received loads of chocolates from complete strangers just because our little imp was with us!  Not very familiar with English. But still easy to navigate the country. Topakapi palace in Istanbul is easily the best feature. The weather ( in June) was awesome! Do not forget to dine with a view of the Bosphorus Strait  at the Topakapi Palace. An awesome experience. The Chora church is a treasure for history buffs and the yearabatan cistern for Dan Brown fans! Hagia sophia and the blue mosque absolute delights to explore :)

Spain

Either the language or the way people spoke it..came across as very rude. The castillians as opposed to the Spaniards seemed cooler. More down to earth. Valencia has a wonderful sand beach. Do not miss the Sagrada Familia church and Park Guell by Antoni Gaudi. An evolving project that has gone on for a century (Sagrada Familia)..very impressive - in concept and in reality.

The Alhambra palace - I hear is built as the Moors' imitation of the Paradise. I did not get a chance to see it. I did see the Royal Palace which was just another beautiful European place of grandeur. But the Alhambra, I believe is something else altogether.


Holland

Love the Dutch. They switch between english and Dutch effortlessly and without sulking like the French. They seem secure in their language and their love for it! Stayed at Den Haag. Less crowded than Amsterdam. The canals,the tulips, the people, Van Goh's museum, Anne Frank and the annexe where that brave little girl hid.. what is not to admire and love about Holland?

Belgium

The Grand Place may be?. Give the Atomium and  the Mannequin de Pis a miss. Nothing much to be impressed about either. But  - do not miss the gourmet food. Choclates, Biscuits, Waffles and Cream. Go to Belgium just for the Waffles :)

France -Paris

The most child un-friendly european city I have ever been to. Children are merely tolerated.

 Do learn as much French as you can. Parisians sulk at having to listen to you speak English -forget about talking to you in English. ( And I do speak un peu de French and it was only by mistake did I slip into English) But if you even attempt to speak French..they melt (while correcting you of course..)

But the place. Paris. What is it about the Champs de Elysees that charms you and makes you fall in love.?. The Tuileries, Notre Dame, La Sacre Coeur..the Louvre.. Paris has got the X factor.. you cannot put your finger on it.. but I am yet to meet somebody who has not loved Paris.

Switzerland

Switzerland has three sectors - the Italian, German and French sectors. I have never been to Germany and I know only one German ( a colleague - and she was a sweet heart) but the population in the German sector were unpleasant to say the least. If you make your money off tourists, the least you can do is be polite to them. Especially when they are trying their best to be good to you.

It was a pleasure to visit the other two sectors. We stayed at Engelberg. I cannot for the life of me imagine what Heaven can possibly have that betters this. What can the man/woman up there possibly add?  The greenery, the cows with the gentle bells, the clouds elegantly crossing your balcony, the lovely people..I think Engleberg and I think peace, happiness, love, relaxation, beauty. Enough said.

Geneva, Lucerne, Zurich - it is beauty that never bores.

Italy

Love, love, love the mad Italians. They did not care that you did not speak Italian. They did not care that they did not know English. They could not understand, for the life of them, why that should stop us from having a conversation! Every Italian we met had something  random to say about Silvio Ber*coni and in the same breath 'la bella bambino!' - our little imp!

Rome was the ultimate historical paradise. Give Naples a big miss except for the lovely island of Capri. Venice - the Gondoliers and their songs.. St Mark Square and the Pigenos - a 'Namaste' from every Venetian you meet - an awesome memory.

 Florence - Read about the Stendhal Syndrome - it is no exaggeration..I was stunned by the sheer beauty of the city.

Walk the city of Rome - in the night. The experience is like none other.

Sistine Chapel's ceilings by Michaelangelo and the Piata in Vatican are artworks that even an art idiot like me could stare at for hours for and be mesmerised..so do not miss them at any cost!

Singapore

Visited twice for work. The rainy and sunny afternoons were an unexpected pleasure (when indoors!) Stayed at the Swissotel. The staff were lovely beyond words!

Do not miss the 'Night Safari' - especially if you have kids (or animal-loving husbands like me!). Never made it to Sentosa Island so nothing more to add here.

Orchard road is good for shopping ( or was when I visited 6 years ago!)

Maldives

A collection of islands that take your breath away even as you travel from the airport to one of those islands to your hotel! But nothing much to do except to parasail, snorkel, swim and relax by the beach!

Went for an off-site conference at work so it was an all paid for holiday with work colleagues!

Enough said :)

Did not see enough people to know how they were. Was busy relaxing :)

Mauritius

Unlike Maldives, there is a little bit more to do than just deep sea diving and snorkeling ..you could visit the seven coloured earth at Chamarel or visit the Pamplemousse botanical garden or watch the sunset/sunraise at Ile aux cerfs..

A perfect destination to unwind and relax.

Though the island is populated by many Indian origin farmers, they fiercely identify themselves as mauritians and most know no other language other than French/Creole.

Nepal
It was a good 10 years ago and all I can remember is the river rafting in the Bhote Koshi river ..it was the first time and there was no looking back after that.. fell in love with River Rafting forever..

Once again - a work sponsored trip - so the entire team stayed at a 5 star hotel and it was simply awesome!

Was not otherwise very impressed. People of course were pleasant and kind.

The United States of America
A family trip to visit my brother. My first trip abroad when I was just 16. Was impressed with everything. The statue of liberty, LosAngeles, Washington, the Florida beaches, Washington, the friendly Americans saying 'hi' wherever you went.. the entire 'foreign' experience including the Pittsburg temple! :)

Seems so naive now.

Have no idea what the 'older' me will now feel!

Other than the above.. have been living in the UK for a while now.. Edinburgh and London are simply awesome..K used to work from Southbank, London and visiting him was always a pleasure for more than one reason!

 The British stiff upper lip - is no exaggeration. They rarely show their emotions, they are unfailingly polite even when they are extremely angry with you, they value their own as well as your privacy but unfortunately they have an astonishingly vague historical knowledge of their own country's involvement in other countries. (of course they know the British had colonies and they 'modernised' those colonies..but that is that!)

Given that my kid is now British..I hope to teach her a lot more than what her school history books teach her about the history between her country and the country of her parents' origin.

Anyways.. in India, have lived and worked in Gujarat, Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore and Chennai. Given that I lived in South Gujarat - only saw the peaceful and vegetarian side of them! Vapi and Baroda will always be my favourite destinations. Delhi - less said the better. Mumbai - not for me but I can see why mumbaikars love their city. Bangalore - No other city has had it's potential squandered so badly! Chennai - again not for me but I can see why Chennaiites love their city.

Coimbatore - There is no other place/people that I love /respect more and there is no other place where I do not fit  anymore..at all.. THE irony of my life..

Lastly there is an awesome place in Kumbakonam called 'Mantra Veppathur'..had a lovely time in the last visit to India.. a fantastic place to relax and unwind..

P.S Special  mention - Marriott Courtyard Chennai - stayed here in the last visit to India ..the best service we ever experienced. An absolutely brilliant team of service personnel.

Things to remember before undergoing major surgery

a. Shower with Hibiscrub the day before and the day of the surgery. Keeps the germs away. Just like that.

b. Stop eating 24 hours before you go under anesthesia. Puking on the surgery table is something you do not want to do.

c. Talk out all your fears with a good friend of yours. You will feel unbelievably free and light hearted post that! (Thanks a ton CK!)

d. Once you cross that bridge of fear..you will cross every day till the day of your surgery with hope, optimism and a determination to make every minute count!

e. Make sure your loved ones are the last faces you see before you go under and the first faces you see on waking up..believe me you..it doubles your rate of recovery

f. Go on a trip. Yes. Before your surgery, go on a lovely trip with those you care about. Your body relaxes and your mind has sunny memories to fall back upon while recovering in the hospital bed.

g. Get back to work as soon as you can. Especially if your co-workers are British. They believe in Dignity in adversity and will simply love you for it.

h. Marry a good man. A telugu man preferably. I did. Nothing in life seems to faze them. Everything is to be taken lightly. (Light-ka theesko!) Anything can be handled. One step at a time. No fuss. But always there. Right by you ( Not behind, not ahead but by you..holding your hand) Every. Single. Time.

17.05.2013 - Janikka maruththa Janani

4 months for you
A life time for us.
 

Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Had first read her book 'Infidel' and was very impressed. Then read her autobiography 'Nomad' and was less so.  The production of the movie 'Submission' and the subsequent murder of  the director Theo Van Goh made me want to know her better.

What is amazing about her is her travel from a barely-literate, ultra orthodox muslim woman to a political and religious satirist of international fame. So much so that she was rated oneof Time magazine's 100 most influential people of the world in 2005.

Having grown with very orthodox religious views in Mogadishu/Saudi Arabia and Nigeria - her life takes a turn when she escapes her arranged marriage and illegally immigrates to the Netherlands. There she absorbs and internalizes the Dutch values of freedom of thought, respect for women and religious tolerance in the most simple terms and re-evaluates her stand towards religion in general and Islam in particular.

What is amazing is her decision to take up Political science as a major, graduate from Leiden university and then become a member of the Dutch parliament ..All individual, daring achievements from a woman who's live was completely controlled by others for the first 22 years of her life!

While her fight against FGM (Female Genital Mutilation) is admirable and her bravery in questioning most of the restrictive practices that enslaves women in her native culture is admirable - what is not acceptable for me - is her tendency to see everything that is western as right and everything that is native to her as wrong.

Christianity and Islam and (Hinduism for that matter) they all have their hits and misses. Most importantly they only make sense if read in the context of their times and geo-political realities of that time. If taken out of context they all are nothing but rants. So to idolize one religion and demonize another is just not acceptable.

She seems to have a failure similar to Arundhati Roy - a tendency to get hyper, to get carried away, to stereotype that which has hurt you , your society - and try to fight the symptom than examine and eradicate the cause. ( Read 'The algebra of infinite justice' - by Arundhati Roy and you will know what I mean)

Why is her culture, her society 'repressive' - does she think the west had nothing to do with it? Also does she realise that just a century back, the same Christianity that has evolved so much, did treat it's women as property and England did not give voting rights to women until 1918? There was a time when women could be whipped in England legally by their husbands if he judged it right to do so..So yes - her society much like the one that I was born in to is taking some more time to evolve - and with good reason. It is the western attitude of keeping the occupied natives' intelligentsia corrupt and weak that played a large part in keeping these societies primitive.

And I would not blame the western world either. They did what they had to - To survive and to win. So the way to fight this historical baggage is to treat the cause and educate and support. Not moralize and condemn.

I don't see how you can  truly appreciate a foreign culture, if you have not even made the attempt to understand and examine your own!

If a moslem woman chooses to wear a burqua, to condemn and ridicule  it is as vile as forcing a woman to wear it.

'Choice' is what defines freedom not what you or I think is 'Right'. The way forward is to produce avenues for children, the future- to recognize , demand and create those choices. Not demonizing a whole culture that defines who they are.