Also, while in our previous house, every day morning was a hassle, with me having to put her contacts in, I grew sick and tired and said if she wanted contacts she had to wear them by herself in her new house.
And lo and behold, from day 1 of the end of Feb, at 12,, the contacts went in all by herself, no help needed and now I am the one missing the time spent with her, even in the morning rush!
So, what was all that display of helplessness before about?
Hmmm...
The clashes between the young one and I are achieving legendary proportions now. I understand she is approaching her teens but it is her swing between ' most mature and zen like' to ' as silly as I can be' flips that I am unable to handle! She always had strong opinions, preferences and choices and so do I - a recipe for disaster! One day, I completely broke down and said that I never imagined my relationship with her would be like this - given that she is the one person I have completely and absolutely loved, without any ego whatsoever. And I did not like the numher of conflicts we were having.
Her reply, and trust me, I quote ' Amma, we have a lovely relationship. You have to lay down the rules for me - as otherwise I may grow up into a spoilt brat. I have to keep doing naughty things as otherwise I would not enjoy my childhood. This is the normal process for both of us and we are both doing a good job. So, don't worry'. And what do you say to that???
She is clear that her career would only be something that she enjoys doing. She is not going to be competitive or ambitious. She will do what she wants every day only if she enjoys the process. And she would like to speak to as many people as she can, during the course of the day, in her job. And she would like to work in a team. But she would like to make a decent amount of money and be independent financially. This is her view of her future as of 12 years old.
True to her word, for the Chithirai Thiruvizha function, she , with her friends V and Vid practiced a few songs , went on stage and gave a phenomenal performance. Vid's mum kept saying how positive she was and for me it was clear that she completely enjoyed the practices, the time spent with her friends and most of all her spectacularly confident and cool performance on stage. No nervousness whatsoever.
She also read the Tamil thaai vazthu - the pronunciation of which she got pat down within an hour. It is not the easiest poem to conquer especially if you do not understand the language.
Her maths teacher said she was way above her grade, she received her second commendation ( commendations being rarely given out) for her presentation on who inspired her - Katnys Everden from hunger games - it used to be 'my mum' :() which apparently was brilliant in individuality and Clarity. Frustratingly, though she is the class topper in computers and coding and her teacher thinks she is a natural - she refused to take coding and is taking classical studies instead!
Given her health is slowly bouncing back, I asked her if she wanted to get back to Badminton and she said she would love to, but no tournaments, just playing for fun. Fair enough! (Though she did win Gold in her last county tournament - sigh!)
She checks on Wikepedia and Tiktok on anything ranging from history to politics - especially if it affects/involves Women, Children or Animals. She hates prejudice and challenges adults on any prejudicial statement anybody makes - including her dad and I. She is well liked by all her teachers and respected by quite a few.
She still hates time pressure and would slow even further , if rushed. Everything on her terms -which she assures me, are usually reasonable.
She is friends mostly with the non academic children at school and to be frank- she seems to prefer the absolute rule breakers. This baffles me. She herself does not break any rules (apparently everybody knows her mum is very strict!) but is very patient, understanding and kind with these rule breakers ( as they seem to be with her!) - who mostly seem to have very good skills in non academic areas (interior designing, sports, tik tok shorts) - not at all short money wise, but unconventional homes/home arrangements. She helps them with their homework, joins in their fun and is proud to be the 'nerd' in the group. She seems clear that her path is different to theirs but enjoys spending time with them.
In all, still the loveable, twinkle eyed, fun loving, spirited R that I think (and hope)she always will be!
We are indeed lucky that our lives are touched by her :) And I am not exaggerating - her teachers say how they look forward to seeing her bright smile and cheery greeting, as they walk into class. As the youngest in her class, while the others have moved on to become surly teens, this is the only 12 year old still not self conscious to say hi and chat with her teachers! :)
So, we were knackered after having moved home and still finding our things when our now 'a street away' S called us over for dinner. What a relief it was to go for some yummy fare when you are absolutely knackered and relieved that after a 3 year search and a 6 month process, you have finally moved in!
We moved in on the Friday and on Sunday was sweet R's 13th birthday celebration. Thanks to my PM skills, I had already organised school clothes, weekend class clothes and the 13th birthday celebration clothes all ready and we were good to go.
It was an unseasonably glorious day and us 8 families had a whale of a time at T and H's home. Photo shoots, elaborate home made fare, dumb charades ( Gents vs Ladies) etc was super fun. Half way through K and I had to step out as a very good friend of ours V and a builder he was hoping to go into partnership with wanted to check out our property and discuss what we needed doing. The visit went well as well. We came back again to join R and the celebrations. Coco was with his favourite care taker Frank and playmate Mark - so he had a good time as well.
In the weeks following, we had each of these couples and others visiting us every week to check out the house. The standard fare we would serve them was pongal, one pot sambar, coconut and mint chutney. We were wondering if we might as well have had a gathering and introduced them to the house all at once!
A few weeks later, the oldest couple in our group, N and S had their 50th anniversary homam and celebration. Once again, it was a lovely day and we had a great time. The best part was the late night chat where each couple, starting with them reliving the first time they met and how the marriage came about. One of the best times we ever had as a group!
K landed his next contract with his interview the day after - so , all was well.
The week after, we were invited to the house warming function of A and R and their lovely daughter V. It was the last day of R's term - she had a half day out and fun with her friends at the local mall and was too knackered to come. So, we left her and Coco at home and went and had a good time with the usual gang plus some more.
On the tamil new year's day bank holiday, we went once again to Lake district. This time around it was with 7 other families. The first day was great fun with just the ladies in a cottage playing cards and chit chatting The rest of the days were good but there were hiccups due to coordinating with such a large group and some small misunderstanding amongst the ladies.
However, R had a great time as one of our relatively new friends' daughter V got along very well with R. So, she came for a sleep over during the hols and they had a blast. So, throughout the trip as well, this child stayed with us and it was a pleasure for R, her , Coco and us!
Back from the trip, during the hols, R also had first a visit and then a sleep over with her school friend Izzy. They had a fantastic time and I felt really bad that our home was still so messy that we could not invite her over in return ( V's family is closer to us, so she did not mind the mess!)
So, though new year went well, R's health continued to be a concern. Went to a private consultant on the 4th . The unexpected side effect of that visit was that the consultant was very impressed by R's use of specific medical terminology to describe her symptoms and was very vocal about it. This in turn made R suddenly develop an interest in gynaecology and the medical field!
That aside, the very smart and charismatic lady doc reassured me that it was just a matter of time before her health settled and she could not see anything worrisome. I think this is the first time I saw R really personally inspired by somebody. Strange how things work!
While we learned to manage and live with R's health, K's current contract was not going so well. Strangely, though K finds it easy to listen to me - he always clashes with female peers to whom he delivers his services. Once again, for the second time in his career, this lead to him walking out before his contract ended.
But this worked out in our favour, because after looking at around 45 plus houses since October 2002 and having sold our own house twice ( buyers from the first time had to pull out as they had waited long enough for us to find a house!) we had made an offer on a 'to be done up' property in september2002. But the agent was so bad that twice in the journey we pulled out and once they pulled out. We even made an offer on another property but having slept on it, we felt we were just losing patience and that was not the right way to decide on our forever home. So, we pulled out the next morning.
So, after many ups and downs, finally, our chain of 6, all aligned ( thanks in no small measure to K, who having broken his contract, focused all his efforts on getting this done) and on 22nd , we exchanged contracts. ( It was due on the 18th but the obnoxious solicitor of the seller, moved offices without bothering to inform anybody!)
We finally moved in on the 25th. It was drama lama till the last minute, and we moved out and sat with our things in the Morrison's car park, while the solicitor went off for a late lunch and deigned to come back at 3.30 pm to hand over our keys!
We were knackered after the shenanigans of the day. Only R had lots of fun , as she was on half-term and was in charge of coco. Coco was confused with all the busy goings on that he twice tried to make a break for it! I had to run to the streets to bring him back while R cheerfully commented ' He is so mischievous just like me, isn't he!' Grrrr!
Our sweet neighbour B gave a trove of gifts to R and took a pic with her. She also wrote her a very sweet note - 3 pages long - on how her move and adjustment from the US to the UK was made easy because of R's sunny smile every morning. Made me swell with pride!
(In fact, 3 days after we moved, yet another one of our neighbours, whom we have just waved at and smiled, found our number and messaged how much they would miss seeing R skipping and jumping to and fro the street from home!)
October started well..October 18 the was N’s seemandham in a hall and next day was A’s house warming at Warwick. Both were wonderful 31st was Solihull A’s grand feast and that was really good as well.
November onwards was tough going in the K household. Our precious R fell ill with non COVID tiredness and flu and missed 25 percent of school this term. After lots of heart ache, tests and GP and consultant visits ( complicated more by the loss of the dear 21 year old child K to cancer , the day after Diwali in November ) turned out severe vitamin D deficiency was the culprit.
The December holidays were booked for Gran Canaria for 10 days with the sole focus being on getting some Sun and a good diet for the young one. Enter Omicron and this plan too went bust.
Despite missing so much school and classes, she topped in maths and except art and games ( which she was excused from but still evaluated?) she did very well. She also finished her grade 4 singing and now in grade 5. She went to her weekend CCF camp and came back sicker but much happier. She was also selected in yet another audition for stage performance.
For the dedecember holidays, the very day her school broke up, post her mall visit with her friends, took her to her favourite A*k Italian restaurant in Oxford and from there to the fantastic Pa*k plaza/park royal hotel for a one night stay. She loved the surprise.
She had her full English breakfast there and came with us to Saravana b* for our brunch. We left to Balaji temple, kanniga parameswari pooja in her name , had a fantastic dharshan and came home.
In the meanwhile, she could not attend the end of term stage show, so one of our family friends Y asked after her. When we said she was unwell, the family visited with pooja and archanai in her name.This is the same friend who for every birthday , ensures a cake is sent to her.
Also, our dear friends S, H and N sent, on alternate days, healthy food that R likes to get her to gain back the weight she lost so rapidly when she was unwell.
On our wedding day, we were invited for dinner at N and S’s place and had a great time along with H family.
Also in the holidays we invited N and N’s family home. What was touching was that Y had taken a pic of our kuladeivam, printed it, framed it and presented it to us for R.
We went to my colleague R’s home to celebrate Xmas with her family and another colleague P. The 3 single children were so well behaved, it was a sight to behold!
As usual our American neighbour delighted R with her thoughtful gifts!
She saw the spider man movie and 83 movie with her dad.
I treated R to a foot massage reflexology and later a mini facial. She loved both. We had a fantastic new year’s eve at S’s. I played cards after a long time, though I did not win!
On New Year’s Day , we visited the new baby NS and he could not smile enough for R. We then went to the Coventry Ganesh temple with Coco in tow.
Today Covo is on his play date with Max and we will pick him up tomorrow. In the meanwhile, we will have 2 days out with R to wrap up the hols.
Hopefully 2022 would be healthier for all and may be the new abode we have been after for the past 2 years, since October 2020 is meant for this year!
Dear pattumma
You are 12! Thangame..Appa’s amma was unwell and he had to fly to India on short notice. You were very sweet supporting him throughout though you missed him terribly. This month health was bad for you with 12 days of trouble and it was so bad that some days you vomited. But even then, you did the dishes for me, you did any work that required bending and you were always at the door whenever I came back from grocery shopping, ready to take the stuff in.
Yes, you do things very slowly , you still cannot get up before 7 am even for coco and you are still clumsy..but all that can be improved. That sweet and kind nature that puts a note in daddy’s toiletries pouch for him to read as soon as he landed- that cannot be taught..and you have that in tons!!
Daddy had a very hectic week but took care of his mum, got her discharged and shifted and came running back to us in time for your birthday. He got you a jimmikki and a lovely peacock blue green saree for me.
On your birthday, our sweet neighbour B gave you and C gifts , your R mama sent you his usual Amazon gift and our B, M and A family sent you 50 bucks with specific instructions to allow you to spend it the way you like. More kindle books in the library I guess! ( they love you like family and so do you..touch wood).
We could only visit Our neighbouring aunties as our usual older couple live a bit farther and we were already running late for our road trip..
With all our other friends friends in India, we took our first road trip with Cokes pops! He was good as gold and made friends for us wherever we went as people could not resist approaching this cute, playful yet well behaved ball of fur!
We stayed at the lovely and very aesthetically decorated Ty Car**g Fach. The rock fountain at the front of the cottage, the lovely kitchen diner hall and the two garden and lush valley facing windows were perfect.
The shower cubicle was quite small but that was the only compromise. You and C took a room and had a lovely time. For a 3 month old, not once did he relieve himself inside the house and that is thanks to daddy’s unrelenting training. He also sits very patiently and waits his turn while we eat. He made this trip so so enjoyable.Q
We went to castle co*h and did the first walk and due to his popularity made loads of friends. We had your favourite ask Italian the day you we artived and a lovely waha* a Mexican meal the day after. We went to Ogmore beach and fusion Mexican/Indian food. The next day was sunny and lovely, boat rides, meals and a walk by marina bay rounded it off. Last day was a trip to the Batman cave henryhydfalls. As always coco was a huge hit. Came home and you helped us unpack and sweetly took care of coco.
In all, you are growing up to be a kind, thoughtful and considerate young lady with loads of fun and joy in you! You sing like a dream, swim like a dolphin, enjoy your hockey, doing well in keyboard, enjoy RADA and stage coach and topped in science, maths , history and geography and computers. It is a shame you had to give up badminton as your body did not support the county training travel and schedule. But none of this has affected one way or other the fun and joy you have in just being yourself!
We are blessed da kuttyma
Love
Amma
What a June 2021 it was. Last day of work was 4th of June. Could have afforded to wait 7 months due to the terms of parting, but was eager to start again - as had 2 offers in hand already, so opted for the day after my birthday to start with the one with the least commute.
Put the entire lot in pension and used less than 0.6% to treat myself with some Swar*ki jewellery.
Good company, good role, nice people, decent pay. No compromises. No loss. 15 minutes from home.
K arranged a home party for my birthday - so the usual suspects came with S having baked a lovely coffee cake. Next day, was too full to go to saravana Bhavan. But did make it to the vatha Kuzhambu some weeks later. What a lovely trip that was - including the trip to the ganapathy temple.
Coco came home on 8th July. Our chocolate boy - a real pleasure to K and R - as they already knew. He is slowly growing on 'scared of dogs' me too!
He is relatively easy, has a good apetite, a very happy, funny, playful boy. Reminds me of R all over again. Both are sweet , kind and innately joyful. His mum is a therapy dog - so kindness is part of who he is.
H's house warming function in April was a good day as well. The day before some friends had gathered to decorate her new house with flowers and rangoli prep moving form the old to the new house. It was good fun. The homam, breakfast and the dinner next day was also good. Managed to fit in work soon after breakfast.
R passed her Grade 5 theory in music in the first attempt ( I hear it is not very easy) - so all the sunday morning effort seems to have paid off!
Summer holidays have started and the days start and end with Coco. R did her mandatory independent towncentre/mall trip with her friends on the last day of school and was very happy! She has squeezed in a movie as well while I took care of Coco for 3 hours - my first independent time! We both did well :)
Started her fully on contacts since yesterday. Let's see how she copes this time around.
July 31st a great time was had once again at D and casper’s where I was the function coordinator and R was the senior!
While there is more than enough reason to be absolutely grateful - for some reason, we are unable to find a house we like yet. The search has been on for more than 10 months now.. Am sure it would all turn out to be good. Fingers crossed.
At 4.30 on 26 th May the call that I knew would come, but was not sure, came. Thank God I had not parted ways on the 25th due to the fantastic offer that came in. What a twist in the tale!
So, this bank holiday trip was more hectic than usual with 2 interviews, getting the house ready for the 14 plus viewings take 2, etc. It was the usual suspects plus S,P,G and J family..
It was a wonderfully summary and warm Holiday post a few weeks of the clouds chucking it down.
Tiverton, Fingle bridge and Dawlish beach on day 1 and Becky falls and wiseman s woods on day 2 and woolcombe beach on day 3..all3 hot days and puliyodharai and Thayir sadham and the usual shenanigans. Too tired to write more. Hectic but fantastic holiday..
Back home to two offers already and 2 more viewings the same day and another 2 the next! Grade 5 theory exam on Thursday and more interviews..
Could it BE any more hectic?.?.?
On 13th April 7.56 pm, ugadi day, kuttima came to me excited about the first indication. At 11 and three quarters, though 6 months to 1 year later than her friends, I still wish it was 4.5 months later.
Tamil New Year’s Day morning..still nothing. 8.23 am confirmed. Love you loads kannamma !
Sigh!
Given that all of us are now vaccinated, the usual suspects and us along with the P,S,J and K kitty family went with food, the flying disc and the kids in tow to chace park
As always a very good time was had. I have been having the worst time in my life at work, especially because from March 23rd, was expecting a miraculous turn around, which unfortunately not only did not happen but things got worse. So, this trip took me out from my mental stress and helped me breathe. As usual selfie sessions, gentle ribbing and good food and fun.
As predicted in the charts, post 23rd I had ballooned to my heaviest ever, but the good that is supposed to be in the is in the offing seems to have been a mistake.
Yesterday we went to Shropshire and met our Doc, S, D kitty and the new addition Casper. As always a very good time was had. This is a very different kind of fun where there is no tele, no selfies..very good conversation, lots of humour and lots of fun. With this particular family, we never run out of conversation, as our sense of humour is very alike! S,s butter nut squash morkulambhu was a big winner with me. D, R and Casper had a the best time ever. Touch wood.
Also spoke to my ex boss and ex cio last week. They both reverted back with glowing recommendations though I am in touch with them after 5 years. Unfortunately, both are too far way.
I have some hope for the next week. Touch wood and fingers crossed. I need to start breathing again.
So, turns out Dovedale was just a very small trailer of things to come. The next day was tiny A’s 2nd birthday party (which turned out a bit political but hey ho!), R enjoyed a lot playing with little A.
During the week, time was spent doing Kumon, watching tele, chatting with friends, Schoefirld and Sims an d a little bit of singing theory and practice with some piano thrown in. Apart from April to June when I was on furlough, both K and I have been crazy busy with no time for the young one.
The next week end , Friday started with Burmese food and then we went to our nearby mall, had hot chocolate and generally relaxed as evenings were spent in the park with friends by K and R while I caught up on my Korean drama fix.
The next weekend was a girls sleep over at ours post a whole day’s play at one of theirs. Another day was spent at Coventry park, getting to know three other families, the ladies of whom got quite close by the end of summer.
31st was spent in Varalakshmi Pooja dress up, devotional songs and fun at the end of it all in H, the P and finally at N,s home with sumptuous food at all 3.
The next weekend just the 3 of us went to London to thank the Gods and have lunch and dinner at Saraavana bhavan, East Ham. A beautiful sunny day was spent at Thames Barrier park as well.
The next week we went to Padley Gorge with our new friends. The girls had a blast getting from one end of the stream to another. A lovely picnic was enjoyed as well.. All in all a truly wonderful day was spent.
Every other day, our neighbouring kid N would come over or R would go over and have water fun, trampoline fun etc. on top of it, N’s neighbour had 3 friendly dogs, so R had great fun with them.
On the Friday I had all the ladies over for a sleep over. Needless to say, lots of gossip, yummy food, anthakshari etc happened and we slept only between 5pm and 7 pm..and we chatted agin till 11am before everyone making their way home. Young N’s homemade Sangria was a big hit.
On the morning of Ganesh Pooja the week after, we went on the umberslade Trail as a family and the after that I went o Eldon park with my colleague R. The day was beautiful and the trails were a delight. Late evening was spent at S’s house, gorging on yummy food on top of what was consumed at the newly opened SkV P. N had sent in some delicacies as well..
For the young one’s birthday the3families went to the water world on stoke on Trent, had a mega great time, came home dressed up and had a simple cake and crisps party with N, our lovely American neighbour, little D, and NYTL family and Y’mum as well on top of the usual 3culprits. On the way to the water park, we also visited N’s house to give them cake and for the young one to take her blessings.
She received her usual gift from her R mama and the usual gift from R, B and A, our friends in Blore. C,K and R sent their wishes as well.
Post the party I made it a point to visit P’s home and N’s home just to give sweets.
The next day was N’s daughter L’s birthday, as well as H’s birthday. So we went to the party, ate, danced, enjoyed and then made it to H’s home for cake, gupshup and more fun. Came home with R at 2 pm!K was really worried!
Next day we packed and went on our way to Wales, K, T and I working through our drive. S had cooked sumptuous food and (H had brought hot chai, so the lunch break post the scenic drive was thoroughly enjoyed.
We could not decide on a place, so we booked at the absolute last minute but luckily there was a last minute cancellation. So we booked Bryn LLys. An absolute delight of a place. On the way we stopped at Llangollenand the scene was set for the rest of the trip. I loved the walk along the stream and R and the kids loved a dog called Misty who enjoyed playing with them as much as she enjoyed time with them..
In the meanwhile I chatted with the 70 plus gentleman who owned the dog and it was a very thoughtful and fulfilling chat. We then made our way to the property, which I fell in love with at first sight. The owner had worked in a local attraction for 20 years and had wanted to own this place every time he cycled past it. Post retirement he had finally bought it and restored it with love. It was exactly and perfectly my kind of haven. Cosy, comfy, thoughtfully and charmingly decorated with rustic taste. The space was ample and reminded me of grandma’s home.
On day 2 we visited cwm Idwal’s bowl and did the walk around Idwal’s lake. We climbed the hill and what can I say..nature truly blesses us in all ways it can. The walk was as much a delight as the parking was a nightmare. The weather was not great, as there was wind hill despite the sun. But the beauty Of nature’s bounty with the hills, the babbling streams and the roaring waterfalls more than made up for it.
We came home happy tired and had home made fare as was the case throughout our stay there.
The next day we first visited llanbaris lake. The railway was fully booked but the weather was fantastic. So we climbed the hill up to the quarry hospital and enjoyed the views from there. We then visited Swallow falls. It was yet another kind of beauty.
Did I mention all 3 nights we all stayed up till 2pm, chatting with the men on Remy Martins and the ladies on Merlot and cocktails and the children high on just fun?:)
The final day we packed up, said our fond good byes and made our way to Llandudno beach. I was knackered and stayed in the car, catching up on sleep and let the others have fun in the beach. Only around 4 pm did I step out for a short walk along the beach.
We came home after a stop over for a service station Burger King dinner and wrapped the summer up.There is just one birthday party next week, post which, secondary school, here we come! Fingers crossed!
