Birthday 2025

 What a roller coaster. With my new job since December, it had been very hectic for both K and I . R with her GCSEs had been working really hard but also had been asking a lot of us in terms of emotional support. We really felt the pressure and planned a birthday trip to Amsterdam and a summer trip following that. (Though the ladies had planned a girls only trip post the exams and since it clashed with my b day, I had to decline as I prefer spending Bdays with K)Work got really bad in terms of pressure and compatibility with my manager and was going through a really intense time with work, GCSEs, managing the home etc. Friendships did not help either. One, over smart lady R, played some games, was really nasty and then had the cheek to ask me for help and reference for a job at my workplace, that she was not qualified for!

At the same time, another lady N was a gem and was a real help in terms of counselling and just being there with dignified support. While all this was going on and R's exams were at their peak, my mom called up and said she feels like she was on her last days and needed me to visit asap. My brother did counsel me that she has these mood swings and I could finish R's exams and leave. I was in a mind to do that but two things changed that stand. In one of many such calls, R was next to me and felt really bad for my mom and suggested that I do visit her, despite R being on her GCSE exams which we had all been working towards emotionally and otherwise for the past couple of years. Secondly, my mom's pleas were getting desperate. ( Especially poignant as, since I married K, she had not spoken to me for 10+ years and contact had been barely 6 hours in the past 15 years and she only saw R first when R was 3). Suddenly, of all of us siblings she needed to see me immediately!

So, I carried work to India - work where the politics was at its highest and I had to work atleast 3 hours more than normal. K, as always in a crisis, was an absolute star. He booked my tickets, organised taxis, local sim cards , helped pack bags etc - so despite external pressures, the journey itself was as smooth as possible. He booked B class , so sailed through all check ins and the B lounges of Emi were an absolute delight. Boarding was mostly through these lounges so could work till the absolute last minute. Service and food were top notch as well. 

Even so, had to work in all the lounges and on the taxi from the airport to home. Mom was fine, it turned out. R in fact cried a bit once she realised I actually was going during her GCSEs. But somehow she managed, once again as K worked from home and was a rock solid support. First couple of days mom needed my support to sleep next to her, physically move her etc. The next day of my landing, her elder brother passed away, so had to physically assist her to the crematorium to enable her to see his face. The next few days were spent physically assisting her in the mornings and working late into the night. S, a good friend, chatted with me every day - helped me go through the pressures and the hurtful realisation that mom only wanted me to come because I was the only open door - she was hoping to use my visit to prompt the others to visit.

Went to MMalai with my school class mate A, and it was one of the highlights of the visit. Got smart bulbs, lights and Echo arranged for her and felt I did what I could as a daughter - as have always done.

K understood what I felt and arranged for the last day of my visit to be spent with my absolute delight of a friend C in Chennai. She helped me recover and recharge. We had a spa day and went shopping and that one day helped me feel valued and loved and feel proud as an individual once again. Some friends are just real magic!

In the meanwhile, N, Nam, Ak gave food to K and R more than once and S, Su gave food as well. H, who I once thought was a good friend and who I supported every step of her own journey when her mom was unwell, copied and pasted my own message except the bit where I had said' I would give her family food'. It hurt. Shared with S and then immediately H sent a explanatory message and sent food a couple of days later. 

Apart from that, tough times really showed the true faces of a lot of 'friends'. Irrespective, I only ended up feeling blessed with the likes of C, N and S. That is three more than most people have. And of course there was K - my rock.

As soon as I landed back, K whisked me away to Amsterdam for my Birthday as planned. I had been there around 12 years back with M, my friend as a mothers' day gift from both our husbands. It was a tulip tour then. This time it was more of a city tour. K really was gentle and kind and understanding and I vowed to remember this the next time we fought!

R had asked to go to the temple (!) the last day of her exam and they did go and were there when I landed back home. We then left for our holiday the next day. We had a lovely three days visiting hte Ryke museum, Ann* FraK's house, D square, canal walks, Maritime museum etc. Food was beyond amazing - the dutch pancakes with lavender cream , the stroopwaffles, the omelegg breakfasts, anjappar meals and of course the apple pie at winkle 43 was beyond yum. We set the pace and enjoyed immensely. 

Back home. Back to work soon. Fingers crossed - the rest of my ashtama sani gets better and not worse!

Letter to my princess - 15 years old!

 Chella kutty.. 15 da! You continue to amaze us, our pride and joy! 

Right now, you have two diametrically opposite personalities. One, where you are a spoilt brat, impulsive, slightly lazy and inconsiderate and the other where you are amazingly considerate,  kind, mature beyond your years, very perceptive and see the big picture like nobody! We never know which version we would get at any point in time and get very confused how to prepare to react!

Most adults who have a conversation with you are always impressed and make it a point to let us know how articulate, smart and impressively distinct you are. Not a version we as parents get to see most times. But then you specifically say you reserve your worst elements for us- since you feel you can explore those feelings only with us as back up! Not sure we enjoy it though!

You plan your own studies, you take responsibility and accountability for the results and you have a future plan mapped out- with back up plans. The fitness bug has bitten you and this holiday you went on a one hour non stop swimming marathon each day for 15 days to tone up and tone up you did. You are more conscious of making healthy choices and having a protein and fibre in every meal. You really do like salads as long as they have some cold pasta in them! (The birthday sugar overload let the preteen R peep a bit though!). Learning to do some simple cooking may have something to do with it.

This summer, appa was travelling for 3 weeks and I was unwell. I said I could not get groceries as I did not have any money withdrawn. You took your choir money, walked over to get the groceries and surprised me! You tried your best to do the household chores - though the lack of punctuality did my head in!

You are now at Grade 7 singing, having done and dusted Grade 8 LAMDA . Grade 8 Trinity is due soon. Silver Do*fe is done as well. You are thoroughly enjoying your choir and this coming year which is critical for you, you only want to focus on these. Badminton, CCF etc are going on a pause, once again.  As always, if you feel like you are not enjoying it - you do not want to pursue it. This is, as I have said, very different to my philosophy - which is to push yourself till the end, irrespective of whether you enjoy it or not. But of course, you are not me - in fact, not at all ! :)

You still have your joie de vivre and it is difficult for you to stay angry or sad or frustrated for long. There is no ' not talking' with you. You think it is pointless for people not to talk to each other - no matter how cross they may be with one another. 

The tenerife trip I took you and your friend V to is your best core memory this year and despite a very enjoyable Turkey trip with 7 other families, this turned out to be your favourite. You  gifted me a chocolate box with your choir money for having taken you on the trip.

There are so many people who are fond of you and a few who love you so much and care for you so much, but you take it all as matter of fact - as in - of course, I am R, I am so loveable - aren't I? (!!)

You most definitely are R, to know you is to love you thangame!

May you stay blessed for all the years to come and may you also come to cherish and appreciate more, all the love and blessings that surround you.

Continue to spread your light and joy kannamma.

Love you to the moon and back chella kutty.

Lots of love,

Amma

Birthday 2024

 This was one of the most memorable birthdays ever. The young one had her 3 day silver DOFE trip, so the plan was to cut the cake the evening before. The super seven were planning to come over but at the last minute dear A had to be hospitalised due to severe migraine, so that plan was rescheduled. 

But in a surprise twist, S had sent a gorgeous saree and jewellery set as a surprise gift which was very touching.

On a side note, though things were touch and go, had donated for annadhanam at the community centre for 30 @£5 each . This was also in place of the temple ther donations that were also being asked for. 

The young one had been very kind and thoughtful to me for the past week ( may this long continue!) and that already made me very happy. She came back from singing and before packing for the trip, she took lovely pictures of us all as a family. They had gotten cakes and flowers on their way back from singing. After the cake cutting session and lots of hugs and kisses from both, I relaxed while for the first time, the young one did all her camp/hiking packing for 3 days with absolutely no inputs from either of us. The only think I had to ask her dad to help wtih was to cut her toe nails right to the bone as the hiking would be too hard on the foot otherwise.

The next day I was up super early and  I went to wake her up and the first thing the groggy bug said was ' amma, happy birthday, I love you' and my heart just melted :).  She till had atleast an hour of sleep available. Did a quick prayer as usual and her dad dropped her at school at 7 am for the coach. He also dropped our Coco to the his friend Hector's place on the way back. We got ready and were out like a shot to London.

The drive was pleasant to say the least. Parked the car in Ra*ner*s lane. We then caught trains and tubes to London's best bakery the Tar*n bakery. And boy was it worth it. It was just a boutique place with place for just around 10 people, if that. But the almond croissant, the gooseberry and almond tarte, the walnut bake, the roasted almonds, hazelnuts, caramelised onion, tomator, cheese curd and ricotta salad sandwich on freshly baked sourdough, the honey and lemon cake with lemon curd, the pain au chocolat and the foccacia and of course the 'kulhad' hot chocolate ( though it was called something else here!) were out of the world! Half of this was given to us complimentary since the baker realised it was my birthday. Though it took as around 11.50 to reach there, the food was absolutely worth it. We could not, of course eat everything, so we packed it and set out on bus to enjoy nostalgic memories of central London and go to Kyo*to garden in Holl*and park.

We went to the first seats of double decker buses and thoroughly enjoyed the journey. The weather was absolutely gorgeous as well. The front seats were not easy to come by but come by they did and the rarity of it helped us savour it , just that much extra. The park was gorgeously green strewn with lovely colours. We had some icecream first in the park restaurant, pushed our dinner restaurant to later, given how full we still were and explored all relaxing nooks and corners before we made our way to the Fukushi*ma and Ky** gardens. Tranquility at its best! The gentle waterfall on the rocks  and the koi populated still pond with Japanese trees and garden features relaxed us instantly. We checked on A via phone ( M anna was being flippantly comical as usual!) and took out our loot from the bakery to enjoy. As we took the first bite of the almond croissant and the foccacia , we knew just this made our day special. The taste was that good!

We had a couple of squirrels and pigeons gently begging for food who we shoooed away as it was against the rules. We really, really relaxed especially at the bench facing the waterfall which again came free only post some waiting and walking around. We savoured it to be that much special when it came to our turn!

The toilet facilities were very neat for a public park. We freshened up and set out to the All Saint*s church. Once again double decker buses and eyes feasting on the gorgeously elegant central london properties. I had visited the temple with K on my star birthday ( the morning of it was rainy but had a fun birthday breakfast with D and S at the boutique Pau* at 41, Harb*rne) so, given I was wearing western and had nostalgic memories from my convent school of peaceful chapels, wante dto visit this central London church. The church was completely empty except for one single old gentleman. K and I had a really calm time at teh church enjoying the gorgeous stained glass windows, decorated tiles, wonderful triple height ceilings and the drawings. We lit a candle and prayed to Mother Mary with the baby jesus in her hand. For me, that figurine is very close to some of the deities in my religion and is my most favourite lady to pray to in a religion that is not what I follow in my daily life. I find looking into her eyes and surrendering to be very very calming and reassuring.

We tried shopping and gave up as it was too boring. We went to the Kolam*b* restaurant that was a 5 minute walk away. The blues restaurant next to it had some wonderful jazz going on. Once again the food was flavours we had not experienced before and the symphony in our taste buds were a delight.  These guys also sweetly lit a candle, sang happy birthday and gifted a mango shorbet. All in all a good meal.

Another group of friends N and gang checked to see what time we would reach home as they wanted to come over. I was touched but unfortunately we would not make it back on time, so let her know.

We came back to pick our car and drove back home listening to the best ilayaraja songs as the day melted into darkness. K and I were so comfortable and so in sync with each other on this day, it made the day one to always cherish ( Not to forget we had a tiff the night before and slept in seperate rooms and K made up by wishing and apologising on my birthday - I was planning to make up in any case as I realised late in to the night that we were just both tired from the week). We missed both our young ones, R and Coco but with both these out enjoying with their friends safely, we had no rush, no responsibilities and had all the time to ourselves - it was complete bliss.

We reached home with one hour to spare before my birthday ended. Had a little chat and a sweet conjugal end to the day.

 The super seven said they are planning to come the next day as A is feeling better. 

I was, just a couple of weeks before, at my lowest, what with the conflicts with the young one and my career going nowhere near where I want it to be and my health concerns for K and how I was nto losing weight no matter what I did.

All that aside, I had a truly blissful day and for that I am grateful and learnt two things. Not to take anything for granted and to ensure this is sustained by being more adjusting and to understand that , always, there is calm after the storm and vice versa and not get carried away either way.

May 2024

 After a year of no trips abroad - due to settling in the new house and the COL crisis, a massive 8 family trip to Antalya, Turkey was organised by one of our friends. While I wanted a family trip to spend some time with R and impart some life lessons before she flies the nest, K rushed and booked the non refundable trip! This meant that R had no time to pack as she had her end of year exams and we ended up flying on the last day of her exam, causing her to write the 3 subjects on her return.

The trip meant a lot of preparation for 7 days - including for R - as she had absolutely no time. The 8 ladies went to Bir*am for a shopping trip a couple of weeks before. I packed everything for R and I and on the last day took her straight from school to her now favourite H aunty for waxing, eyebrows etc and from there to H G for her hair. She was very happy as she thought she was going to the trip ungroomed. Especially since the trip had 7 teens  (5 girls and 2 boys)and 5 pre-teens (3 boys and 2 girls) and 1 toddler - they all wanted to look and feel their best. Especially since the next day was day 1 of her chums!

We rushed for the early morning flight as the airport had long queues due to maintenance and expansion. Photo sessions started from the airport itself and because it was the birthday of the eldest of the group, there was lots of hugging and wishing as well. One lady forgot her residency card and had to rush home and back - but still all of us made it. After an uneventful 4 hour flight ( which was hilariously funny with R entertaining us with cheesy, innocent and endearing teen 'date request' lines . I also managed to watch Amores Perros which I had downloaded earlier. 

We checked in at the Sea L*** all inclusive resort and gathered in the Birthday ladies room for cake and celebration. We then left for Hadrian's gate, took some pics and split from the group and went around the charming old town and ended  up in a high point view of the sea. We ladies also partied post dinner with the first day's enthusiasm. Late, settled in for the night with a very happy R as she had V as her room mate in our double room with a side view of the pool and sea.

Day 2 

Went for a morning beach side walk with the usual 3 culprits. Had breakfast, changed into our swim suits and went into the beach via the tunnel from the resort. All families dipped in and had a great time. As usual R and K went as far into the sea as they could and I was happy to see that R's chums did not stop her from activities any more. 

We moved from the sea to the resort swimming pool and had some fun there as well. Cleaned up, had lunch and left to see the Legends. Though we were scammed by the boat lady there, the ride there and the pics with the lightings made it a bit worthwhile.

Day 3

This was the day booked for Suluada island. Early breakfast done and boarded a bus. The bus and the boat trip had other people as well, so the 30 of us having fun did create some ripples. But to their credit, the Turkish people were never aggressive but very polite and respectful even when requesting some peace and quiet. After a 1 hour and 40 minute trip with a comfort break inbetween, we boarded a just about decent boat. Lots of dancing, singing and pics in the boat later we did some island hopping. We all took turns diving into the sea ( all the teens, some of the preteens, K and S who could swim, S and I who could swim). While the ladies who could not swim splashed about by the shore, S and I swam a little further and as usual my K and R went as far as they could.

One of our friend, T, was trying on the snorkelling kit for the first time and though he could nto swim, with the help of the kit, swam a bit farther and panicked when water entered the kit when he tried to tighten it. Another gent S who was near him tried to help him and T in his panic, scratched S's back and they both got in trouble. The other gents rushed to them and sorted them out. A, T's tiny 6 year old, went to her dad to help him and in his panic, he pushed her in as well but we managed to pull her out and all was well in the end. T was teased to no end and of course, H, T's wife gave him hell after!

There were 3 stops  in different islands. We all changed back and reached in time for a late dinner. Lunch was pasta, salad and french fries and chicken, fish and salad on the boat.

As soon as I landed int he resort, I booked a massage for myself as I was aching all over post the travel and the swims. N, my masseuse was perfect and I slept soundly post the same. 

R in the meanwhile went gymming (!), swimming in the pool and played table tennis and made friends with French, Algerian, Turkish, British tourists/residents/staff of all ethnicities and languages. Whenever we spotted her, she was chatting away with somebody and laughing!

Day 4

I went for  a long walk in the beach with K and thoroughly enjoyed it. It was preplanned to be saree day, so we all changed into sarees after breakfast and took pics in the beach. All residents and tourists both at the resort and the beach were very friendly and welcoming and some wanted to take pics iwth us. Unfortunately I twisted my ankle while taking pics in the pebbles and had to cut it short and let the others carry on.

I came back to the resort and spent the rest of the day with K, chilling and watching Theeran Adhikaram onru! We have this ritual of watching a tamil movie whenever we travel. K was feeling tired as well, so we took the day off :)

All the other ladies went shopping and had a great time.

Day 5

This was for Pammukale. It was a 4 hour travel one way and that nearly did us in. Atleast it was a private bus just for us , so we had loads of fun dancing and singing on the way in. But within 2 hours we were getting tired and cranky. We stopped at an outlet shop for a comfort break and then on to a small cafe for a decent lunch of soups, salads, pasta and sweets. Pammukale was magical and thankfully other than a couple of dry patches, there was plenty of water. It was scenic and beautiful though the weather was drainingly hot.

 We then changed went into the cleopatra pools and had a refreshing swim. We changed again and hiked to the Hierapolis. K and I split from the group and went to the Pluotonion - temple dedicated to the God of the underworld. We enjoyed this more than the climb to the amphitheatre.

We all came back down and by the time we reached the resort around 11 pm - being knackered was an understatement. I could not keep my ankle down on the floor and went straight to bed. K and R went to the Food in the box restaurant next door and had some delicious food. They also bought a wrap for me which I devoured in seconds (sinfully while still in bed)! The ladies had called me down to enjoy some midnight snacks that the resort provided, but I just could not step on my swollen ankle.

Day 6

This day, once again, some wanted to go shopping and then the Duden waterfalls but I just wanted to rest and recover. While R went with V and the dad M and the couple N and S, K sat in the sun as he had a slight temperature and I went for a quick swim in the resort indoor and then outdoor pool. We then had  lunch and rested and packed for departure the next day, before our couple's hammam. We had a wonderful massage, scrub and facial.

We then went to the Beauty saloon downstairs in the resort and I got my hair washed and blowdried and a pedicure done while K had an Indian head massage. The rates were way better than the UK , so it made a lot of sense. 

K and I then explored the top most floor and roof of the resort, took some pics,  took another long walk by the beach while the ladies did their final photo shoot with families in the beach. We had dinner and went for another night walk by the beach with a couple of the other families this time.

In the meanwhile , R had brought what I had asked her to buy for me and so did S, one of my friends. I was happy with both purchases. 

Day 7

Had a wonderful breakfast, took some last pics and took a very tiring and packed flight back to the UK. I stayed back home with Coco ( who by the way was on his own beach holiday at Norfolk with his carer family but rushed back into K and R's arms when they went to pick him up!) while K and R met the other families in C**Dosa at Cov** to eat some comfort south Indian food and packed food for me.

All in all, thanks to S, it was a very well organised trip and am very grateful that we all had a great time and came back safe and sound without any significant mishap.

Time to give some thanks to God - hopefully this weekend. 

Letter to my princess - 14 years old!

 Dear pattumma

Where do I begin. Has this been our toughest year yet? You are doing very well in your studies, all the grown ups are very fond of you, you still have the same joie-de-vivre as ever and we are now living in our dream home and you love your room and most of all we all love Coco - our bundle of joy!

You have now finished your Grade 5 theory and singing, Grade 6 Lamda, Grade 5 Trinity acting and DOFE Bronze. We gave away the piano as you were no longer interested.

You have newly developed interest in dancing to western as well as bollywood songs randomly. You observed they are doing squats in PE and now thoppukaranams happen without me having to ask! You listen to songs while walking Coco, so you are au fait not only with lyrics of the songs of your generation but also that of ours and beyond ( Elvis Presley ? seriously?)

You are very committed to your homework, you draw up schedules and study by yourself and set targets for yourself. You even research subjects and add value to assignments without any prompting from the teachers. Chemistry, maths, history and classical civilisation are your favourite subjects and even in the holidays you studied chemistry simply because you wanted to.

I wish the same discipline applied to cleaning your room, your ensuite, doing the dishes , loading the washing machine, hanging the clothes out when the weather is good and walking and cleaning Coco. You do all of the above, but very erratically and after much follow up! (You do play with coco all the time without any prompting!)

Not only that,  you are still struggling to wake up in the mornings, your food habits are still abominable- junk still rules, your period issues are still ongoing and you have very very high expectations from your friends and have stuck to just one close friend this year and have pushed back every body else at school. Atleast one friend did approach you on her own and while you were polite to her, you told me you are not going to let her in  to your close circle again! Outside school though, you still have many good friends.

You are thinking a lot about your future and are playing out various career choices in your head. You are following social media accounts of individuals with careers you think you like to see how their life is on a daily basis.

You still are very confidently friendly with adults and very personable. We were gobsmacked when our next door neighbours turned up with a card a day before your birthday , with no prompting. They bothered to remember and make an effort! Y uncle came as always and more grownups wished you than youngsters - even more than the year before! 

However, with me, it has been a battle of wills and lots of times it has not been very pleasant.. The biggest battle has always been about food. Sorry for that kannamma.. I only ever want the best for you and I panic everytime I think of your food habits when left on your own. You are a vegetarian , though you will have egg. But you shy away from vegetables except for cucumber and olives. All you have is cheese - feta, halloumi and Mozarella. You still drink milk straight out of the fridge. Chocolates, cheese sticks, crepes, bread and brioche fill up your tummy (and constipate it!). Drinking water is a big battle still. I despair even while writing about it!

How can somebody so smart not understand the consequences of their actions? You are still impulsive regarding food and fun and that worries me. Only for academics do you discipline yourself. In the holidays, there is no control whatsoever!

The school report praised your academics but what stood out was your form teacher calling out how impresssed she has been with your resilience and strength of character! I know of it and am proud of it but all of it matters only after your health. Please da, make healthier choices and do not given in to your impulses!

May your life be filled with joy, friendships, good health and lots of love.

Love you to the moon and back da chellame!

Amma

Summer 2023

 After a hectic academic year - but one that ended in all As and A *s,  a bronze Do*fe award , 2 physics presentation awards, grade 5 singing, grade 6 LAMDA distinction and grade 5 trinity award distinciton, the summer holidays finally dawned.

Summer this year started and ended in June, so all the get togethers etc happened in June. We also went to a day trip to Bournem*outh beach in June, without K as he was in Frank+furt. We went on the car with N, M and little S. It was a really good trip with the sun being burning hot and the beach a wonderful respite. The ladies and kids had an especially good time. It was around 7 families - with the usual suspects, so a very good time was had.

Just before the holidays I had gone on a ladies trekking trip to Pystll R**header falls and the week after walked 4.5 hours from home to the Dudle*y temple with 12 other ladies. Though enjoyed both immensely , strained my ankle and had to be on ankle braces and had to get a scan and xray done.

During the holidays it was wet and rainy, so only sleepover with her close friend V happened. R also went to Oppenheimer with her dad and Barbie with me.Also, we had been planning to take her to the Cov*ntry Vara*hi temple- as we had gone before and she had not, so took her there. Though she recited all the slokas etc, the 3 hour wait for the pooja finally did her in. We took the arathi and left while the rest of the pooja was still going on. 

While I was resting up, K and R also went hiking to PenY Fa*nn along with A, N, S families and had a good time. She was the only girl in the trip, the rest of the kids were guys 1 15 year old, 2 12 year olds and 1 10 year old - but as always, she was very comfortable and had a great time.

One evening, S organised a sudden meet up wtih Pani puri and that was good as well. Though R seems to get along and enjoy a lot with the boys and younger kids ( 2 years younger usually) than the teenagers of her own age. Mainly because she is active and likes to either chat or play while the other teenagers are glued to their mobiles. Not that R does not like her mobile time, but definitely not when there is company around and physical or conversational fun to be had.

Having said that, her closest friend in school is a ukranian kid who is 2 years older to her but who is in her class due to the English language gap. She teaches her tamil and in turn learns Ukranian from her!

Next weekend, our very close friends since 8 years who missed our house warming came home with their dog, Casper. We spent a wonderful day with them. Their daughter D and R used to be very active and chatty till a couple of years back. This year, D had changed completely and was very quiet and wanted to stay in and engage with her mobile. R was still trying to get D to chat or go for a physical game, but to no avail.  Makes me wonder if there is some hormone that has bypassed R completely. Especially since D and R are only a month part and have been mostly similar growing up!

Since K and I were both workign throughout, weekedays for R were spent studying a  bit in preparation for year 10, playing with Coco , taking him for a walk, doing some small chores and relaxign with the mobile and tele.

The week after we went for the Ther at Sri * Muru*gan T*emple, London. Unexpectedly, R and her close friend V and the other teenage boys H and T were given the sevarkodi and banners to carry around the ther for 4 hours. To their credit, the kids did it while chatting and having a good time. The entire day was fun as we had A's brother's house in the same lane as the temple - so we could have breakfast, rest, change, attend to nature's call etc without any worries. We all had dinner at Vas*antha bh*avan and came home happy tired.

The week after was the trip to S*kanda Vale on Sat and B*arafundle bay on the Sun. S*kandavale was extremely tiring as we started from home at 7 am and reached around 11 but the poojas started soon after and ended only by 8 pm. The best part was teh climb to the vel on the kundru ( V and R did it twice!). That itself was very tiring. But then there was the Murugan pooja. We visited the durga pond with the koi carps - that was very good. But the best was the ranganathar mandap which was peaceful and beautiful. The yagasala wait for the food was tiring to say the least. Then the steep climb to the kali temple and the long poooja did us in. Though the kali sacred sanctorum entry after the 2 hour pooja was very good. Most of the poojaris were welsh and their sanskrit pronunciations were interesting to say the least.

The kid attended minimal pooja but played around and generally had a great time. This time it was 6 families so quite a good gang.We had all made one item each for breakfast , so it was a veritable feast for breakfast. There was poori, channa, kadala curry, tomato thokku, noodles, semiya, pidi kozhukattai, nilakadalai chutney, idli, pongal and piping hot tea!

We stayed at the F*orge Motel and Fire*house- the rooms were next to each other, very spacious and we were so knackered that we slept soon though the motorway was right next to us. V travelled with us, stayed with us and spent time with R throughout. One of the couples had bought egg timers, toasters, peanut butter, pistachio butter, pineapple jam ( the pineapple jam with the heat of the tomato thokku on toasted bread was a big hit) and there were croissants and crepes, so breakfast was sorted.

We took some snaps and left for the bay. The weather turned wonderful, so a very good time was had at the beach. Came home after a drive of 4.5 hours, around midnight, K had everything packed and ready for his flight to Frank*furt. Checkin was at 3 am, so drove him to the airport, dropped him and dropped into bed.

Was woken by the girls at 9.18 to pick Coco up. Rushed to login, wrapped all important checks and calls, rushed to pick Coco up, cooked breakfast for the girls while working, prepped lunch, wrapped up calls and mails and was exhausted by the time M anna came to pick V up. Once V left, just set out dinner to R and flopped into bed!

There is another walk around a lake planned by the group on R's birthday and we may have a guest over the day before. And that should wrap up the holidays nicely!

Due to budget constraints, no holidays abroad this Summer, nevertheless, it has been a good break for R, I would say.

Spring holidays 2023

 Finally we had our house warming and moved into our new home. The Sumangali pooja and the housewarming pooja made me really happy. It was hectic and not perfect but the aspects that were important for me - inviting my friends with saree, choker and bangles at their home, the pooja I did personally in tamil, the samosa, beetroot, kootu soru and Kurma by S and Gulab jamoons by N and the sukku coffee was what I wanted.

The housewarming next day by the gurukkal was as I liked it. We were very upset by the attitude of the priests in the TN temples and left a very bad taste in our mouth - in this day and age, the supremacy and the demand for money by each and every one of them was beyond disgusting. Thankfully, things are different here in the UK and the gentleman we had engaged was very down to earth and did the pooja conscientiously and with true piety. The young one participated fully as he explained everything in English for her. We had a lovely day.

The food was a big hit and was universally praised. We did the traditional Thalai Vazhai Ezhai sappadu and our friends who served breakfast and lunch were particularly mentioned by all attendees as having been very attentive and caring. Thank you T and S !

There was G's function the very next week and as always it was very well organised. It helped us relax and have a good time after a hectic time shifting into the new home ( it was the very next day of shifting!). For the week of shifting, every day we had food delivered by our 6 friends plus D and A for an extra 2 days as well! It helped us focus on shifting and not worry about food. This was a great help!

The next function was dear S's 18th at the temple. Weather was a tad cold, but we managed to attend the function and yagam. Dharisanam was good as well. K had to rush back as R was a tad scared in the new house and I came back with S and M.

It was here that I heard N was unwell, so gave them lunch on Saturday. The rasam turned our too spicy but hopefully it helped clear the cold!

K started his new contract soon after and things started being hectic again. R's school reports are getting more and more brilliant and her clashes with me are competing with those reports!  ( She also passed her grade 5 and is now on to Grade 6 in singing and trinity acting and LAMDA public speaking) .We clash on every little thing and that is not saying it all! But soon after fighting like bitter enemies, we continue talking to each other as though the flash of nuclear threat did not happen at all. Baffles me as much as it does her dad. But that is R for you!

For the Spring holidays, she first started her dance practice for tamil new year and that took us to the other girls' homes - 3 out of 5. They came over one day. We then left for Lincolnshire where we stayed at the lovely , rustic and thoughtfully decorated Man*r House St*bles. We stayed at the Bo*t*y. Unlike before, with Coco pops in tow, we do not rush to tick locations off our list. We take it really easy and just go for walks after a lazy morning breakfast. We stayed in *M*artin. She loved the nook. We had breakfast before leaving at De*c* lounge. We reached around 4 pm and relaxed in the lovely cottage. The different flavoured teas, the columbian coffee, the salted butter, the plum loaf, crisps and chocolate hamper, the deep, deep tub to relax in, the lovely bath products, the flowers and the fire place were all wonderful. I made use of each of these items and revelled in their quality and aesthetics. The kitchen was so tastefully equipped - it was a pleasure to get the tea, coffee or toast done. K was frustrated with the Aga though. 

I had lovely baths on 2 days and basked in the wood fire place once. I made umpteen cups of the wonderful peach and ginger tea in the delightful loose tea kettle and also made columbian coffee cups for K. R spent some time reading in the garden swing and hiding in her nook bed.

Next day, a very late lazy brunch and left for a walk in the wolds at Tetf**d. Had a fantastic walk, taught Coco to fetch the ball. We went to the Linco** Castle and Cathedral, took pics from outside and collected Thai food from Thai***nd no 1. Turned out to be really yummy. The young one wanted to see the copy of the Magna C**ta but with Coco it would be tricky, so we skipped it.

Another lazy breakfast and off to the riverside walk It was again a 3 to 4 hours of walking with Coco bringing joy and fun to the day. We dropped them off at the cottage and set off to have some italian at Loren*o's. Was not to my or K's taste, though it was rated excellent. Shopped at the coop and made R her favourite pasta and called it a night.

Next day, we checked out and after a brief stop at a pit stop where R had subway and we some chinese, we came home and were delighted with how we felt. The home felt very welcoming and awash with light, the way we had envisaged. 

Felt truly calm and ready to hit work from the next day.

December 2022 part 4

K along with us also visited his almamater, CI**T and had a lovely time in the campus, visiting all the old haunts. We then went to my mum's place to say good bye. R was chatting with her and mum was so delighted that she gave her a chain and a ring. R was very proud :)

My uncle and aunt just happened to call to announce the birth of their granddaughter in the US. They were delighted to know we were there and immediately all plans changed and before leaving to the airport, they insisted to take us to the 'Annalaks**' restaurant. R delighted them as well and they insisted that we wrap up our work and let htem know once we reach the airport so they could come and see us off.

Our 'work' was to buy some tanjore paintings and also visit B, M and A at B's childhood home. Once again, we had a lovely time. R had mentioned she felt like having Samosa, so there it was big and small, with of course other home made delights. Young A also sang 3 lovely songs, one kannana kanne, one ranga puravihara and one sanskrit murugan song - beautifully.

 We went from there to the airport where my uncle and aunt had kindly got some nochi leaves to cure my throat cold and gave us some more home made stuff as well.

We moved to another hotel nearer to C and V ( they had both sets of inlaws living with them, so we opted not to stay at their home this time) and went on our usual end of the year trip. Had the best time at Mtham resort, dancing for folk music, lovely food, swimming, archery, shooting, table tennis, bad minton, oonjal, bullock cart rides, kayiru kattil tea with bajji and chutney, pump set kuliyal, milking of hte cows etc - but C fell unwell ( later diagnosed as swine flu contracted from her fil), so they left early with little K who was coughing as well. Ra was owed time with our R ( due to his trip earlier), so he stayed back with us. We had a lovely time and visited Mahabs  five chariots. Could not go to the shore temple due to the crowd and heat. 

We then visited Marin* mall where the kids had a blast with fish spa, pizza, pasta, icecream, samosa, cake - Ra had to match K's fun with R after all! :) Came back to the hotel and R and Ra played fooze ball. Dropped Ra back on new year's eve but could not do the cake cutting and celeberation as C was still unwell.

We had a photo shoot for a family album and R had a blast with professional make up and hair dressing done.

Last minute shopping and packing was done and on the eve of our leaving, we ensured we did our ritual cake cutting and celeberation for ushering in the new year.

The grandparents came to spend some time with R, so R, K and the grandparents had lunch in the hotel and R played fooze ball and chess with her thathiya while I wrapped up the packing. Visited the nearby temple as always before leaving.

Came back refreshed, rebonded and ready to face the challenges of our building site once again! :)

PS one of hte best bits was that we had a consultation with a Homeo doctor and with her medication, R's monthly troubles had a drastic change, int hat they were dramatically reduced in volume and hence the trip was relatively smooth. Yet to see the effect of the remaining tablets.

December 2022 part 3

 Too tired to document the trip day by day, so just a few highlights

Food throughout the trip was awesome. Be it the sw**ggy hot chocolate, sugar cane juice, andhi* kadai, South Indian village specialities or the meals at C’s place or the breakfast at Mari**, or vasantha bh** at Phoen** mall or Savya * rasa Kerala meal or ‘inti**bo**Janam on our weddding day or the best of all meals at the Marutham** res**ort ( ulundhu kali, Kambu kanji, avarakkai poriyal and lots of the other food that took me to healthy 80s Kalyana sappadu)

R was praised by both K’s grandparents as well as my  mum and uncle and aunt and sister in law for being friendly, polite, cleaning up after her, helping them out, attempting to speak tamil always and for her ‘lovely’ habits. She made me inordinately proud and even when they teased me about how I must be a very strict mum, while I expected her to agree with them and complain, she just hugged and kissed me, in response. I was on top of the world and though confused by her behaviour which contrasted with our fights which still continued when we were alone, was very very proud.

R, Ra and K, the three musketeers as always had the greatest fun. Ra , K and C came to visit us the day after we arrived and the usual bonding picked up right away. Ra had a school trip to go to, so just little K and R enjoyed  with K in the hotel pool and mall while C and I went to our ritual T naga* shopping. They had a blast, we had a blast and poor R was in tears epwhen he returned from his trip as he hated missing out, though he himself had great fun in his trip. 

Sometimes the young one and I went by ourselves to the mall where I got her a blow dry and I got my nails done and we shopped and bonded.

Given the health actionconcerns we both went for a daylong health check up and it was worse than being in a busy railway st best.  Those couple of days were the worst and I picked up a nasty throat infection that troubled me painfully for 8 days. Never again at Ap*ll* Centre! 

Though the follow up fell on our wedding day, C kindly took R for the day ( and what a day R had, being pampered by C with bangles and shopping and picking up young K from school) , we wrapped up the follow up and went for a lovely andhra lunch, parthasarathy temple and marina beach. We also accidentally dicsovered that the lady providing me with blouse was S **Sekh**r's daughter in law. We went inside so had a glimpse at the house as well.

K and I went to Kanchipuram and visited the Kamashi temple, which was very clean and very well maintained. Athi varadhar, ekambara temple and on the advice of our friend, the chitragupta temple as well. The young one preferred to rest and was on face time throughout. We started quite early and hence finished all of it and had time to also go to the famous Bbu SAH shop. 

The young one was at her grandparents' house a lot and had a good time. She charmed them and their neighbours as well. She was not comfortable with the toilets there, hence our stay at the hotel. 

We went to mylapore temple with C and the boys and also finished a lot of the photo frames and lamps shopping there. The temple was as charming as always.

Two days before xmas, C's apartment had a xmas celebration party and it was awesome. In the outdoors there was food, music and dance by kids and parents. The best bit was the pet show where the apartment pets - including a tortoise, were presented by kids and parents. Browser, Maggie, Maran etc were some of the delightful participants. Made us miss our dear Coco lots!

Just before leaving for coim, R and I had yet another massive fight. This time C came to visit to reconcile us and advised us both strongly. We seemed to understand each other a little more and it definitely helped. We all went to the mall to watch 'Avta the wate world' in the freezing AC of the mall and caught dinner at V bhavan. late in the night.. K fell sick the next day.

The 4 day coimbatre trip was awesome as well. The flight reached on time and we checked in to the I*on annapo*rna hotel. The rooms were big and nice but service all throughout the city and especially the hotel was apalling. K fell sick the first two days and rested in the room. I took the young one to my school , showed her around and also to my childhood favourite haunts of laxmi complex and 'Selva singh' stores. We both bonded quite well. B, M and young A, our friends from Solihull delighted us with a dinner treat from the fine dining K*ve restaurant along with their mum. They gave us lovely gifts of silk saree, silk dhoti and silk pavadai and sattai for the young one. Also, the divine tanjore painting of Muruga for our new abode. 

We visited my sis in law's new cbe flat at Cas* Grand* and the young one spent some good time with her cousin N.  They were taking a break here post N's graduation and will return to their home in the US post a month or so.

I took the young one to visit my mum, who she delighted with her tamil and general friendliness.

The next day we started early to Martha Malai. On the way we picked up M. M, the young one and I climbed all the stairs, while K who was still recovering came up by car. We had a fantastic dharshan and M send me and R on a second round since I was so happy. Truly a brother from another mother! :)

We then dropped M. We also visited cousin N with K and took her to perur temple. Once again a lovely dharshan and the kovil yaanai darisanam was done,

Continued

December 2022 part 2

 K had, despite everything planned the trip very well as well. Just to add to the work, house build, shenanigans of R and I and the planning of the trip and taking care of Coco who had decided to do middle of the night outings, he had also attended and cleared his interview for the next contract and had an offer on hand.

We had planned to spend a day extra in Dubai as I wanted to visit the gold souk though we have holidayed  extensively in Dubai. To be fair, R helped us with the luggages, the transit etc and was not being a spoilt brat. The airlines had organised a stay for us in a hotel  (Coptho**rne)and had given us 2 rooms. To maintain peace I took a room and K and R the other. We had not told R, so when I turned away to another room, she was mildly shocked and came immediately over to hug me and ask if I would not be lonely alone. She and I were not on talking terms just for a couple of hours before then. It is moments like this that reassure me how intrinsically sweet she is, despite everything. We slept well

The room was, clean, ample space and all three meals were provided. I really liked the buffet spread that was on offer, all three times. We went to the souk, did some shopping and walked back the marina where K had spent time as an youngster fresh out of his engineering as his first job from campus was in the UAE

We also purchased gifts for C and V and also Addu at the airport. Even at the souk, R was very friendly to strangers and generally polite to everybody. There was a Saudi lady sat next to her, fully covered  and she piped up’ I like your eye make up’. They all immediately smiled and complimented me on my friendly teen. If only they knew!

We landed around 8 am in Chennai. The flights were ok but the food was terrible. K’s dear friend SKN was a big shot in  Chennai, so had arranged for a special attendant to usher us through the airport formalities on a priority basis and also for the golf cart to collect us straight out of the flight. R was mighty embarrassed as none of us were expecting this and were stunned.

An innova car was waiting for us but getting out of the parking from the airport was chaotic. We reached our West**n Vela**chery hotel. SKN had arranged an early check in for us, so it was a relief to check in and relax. We did not opt for the hotel breakfast but ordered healthy fare from sw**ggy and loved it. Our friend V had already arranged for local sims and phones, so K immediately called his parents and they were delighted to talk to R and could not wait to see her.

..continued 

December 2022

 Year 2022 especially after the young one turned a teen was shocking to say the least. It was as though a switch had been flipped and my sweet and innocent little one just realised that I could perhaps be an enemy spy planted to cause her harm or some such! We have always had arguments and clashes but these assumed epic proportions. She did not want to be ‘told’ to do anything, be it breakfast or dressing up or general hygiene or sleeping hours. Everything became a battle and every generally agreed rule was broken. Us being stuck in a poorly insulated, noisy flat wit K going through his busiest and most stressful contract while we balanced the house build and the delays there on, only added to the stress.

Due to not drinking water and a really stupid impulsive act, we had to take her overnight to the hospital three times. The first time was after K had not literally slept for two days due to ongoing programme work. We were really angry with her general thoughtlessness and were  at the end of our tether. I started crying at the drop of a hat and started having chest heaviness. One day this got so bad that on citing the symptoms to non urgent care in a call, they immediately sent an ambulance and I had to spend a day at the hospital getting cardiac checks done. Turns out there was an inversion/ anomaly in the heart beat but they were not unduly worried.

She was turning away from her close friends at school as well but at the same time doing well in her studies and won a Physics presentation as well. 

Our dear friend S was facing similar issues with her daughter, so she came over with R's favourite potato fry and took her for a long walk. She came back and said R was as innocent as ever and is only missing chats with a sibling to complain about parents, which all her other peers seem to have. Otherwise she had nothing bad to say about us. :(

We had planned to do our house warming before leaving, unfortunately I had to cancel invitations sent out due to supply issues with the glass lanterns.

It is in this context that we left to India. The trip to the airport was fraught as R and I just could not get along. k had a tough time keeping us civil to each other.

..continued

Summer 2022

 7 friends. 7 parties. Yummy food. Relocation to a newly renovated, surrounded by Greenery, but very noisy ( train track beyond the greenery) flat. Very difficult find as nobody willing to rent for short term with a pet. 2 sleep overs with ladies. R had a 2 days and 1 night sleep over at V's place. She went for a day long play date with Izzy. V came for a sleep  over. Had a ex colleague and good friend's 40th dinner treat at De*co lounge. Met a lot of new lovely ladies, had a great time. Fell down and hurt myself trying to hang curtains in the flat. Daily visits to the building site. New friends S and V delivered a huge batch of sambar to tide us through! :) Went to southall to see the factory of windows, bifold doors, roof lanterns etc. Did a bit of shopping.

For the bank holiday weekend, went for a 2 nights, 3 day trip to Diss. Stayed at the w*ood place. An amazingly huge bungalow with a massive front garden full of trees and shrubs. A place of full of light. Huge windows and a reading floor with a massive window. The exact break we needed from the flat. We had an absolutely smashing relaxing time. Went for nature walks and on the way back enjoyed thetford forest. 

Back to the grind now. School in a week. V Chathurthi celebrations at N's place on the 31st and sleepover with a movie, cards, antakshari and mexican snacks ( Ochatha, pitta bread, veg puffs, mexican mango salad and home made humus ) till 4 am and woke up at 7 am for a chiquilita breakfast, ginger tea and chit chat till 11 am. All good except the body mass! K picked up V for a sleep over with R - so all good on that front as well!

That was our summer '22.

P

Letter to my princess, My new teen girl!

 Dear Kannamma

You are now a brand new teenager! Can you believe it?

While you have grown drastically in height and are no longer the tiniest in class and of course you are a young lady who is now wearing my clothes, the spirited giggle, the adamant resilience, the obstinate commitment to fun first and the overcrowded teeth tell a charmingly different story altogether! :)

We had a great busy summer this time. Once back from Greece, the last term of school was not great - in the sense that somebody whom you thought was a close friend, turned out to be a huge disappointment. You took it in your stride, faced it head on and indomitably took on the head of your form staunchly defending your truth. You class teacher and the school counsellor were very clear how much they admired you for the same. You did it politely but firmly. You simply had no fear. 

The other friends were too scared to support you outright as this 'friend' had mental health issues, but you took our advice not to take it to heart but continue to be friendly with them. A very important life lesson that would serve you particularly well in corporate life. But, I must say you handled it much better than I would have. I may have done the same things you did but back at home, I would have sobbed my heart out. But you stood strong there and you stood strong at home. You were practical and better at slowly but surely regulating your emotions regarding the whole sordid but beyond silly affair.

A new update on the above. This year, despite all the drama that happened before the holidays and the rift before the holidays, you said 'hi' and initiated a conversation with the 'friend' when you met after the hols. I would have never done that and have never done it. She would have been banished from my life forever. But you said life was too short and you would rather not hold grudges but just be a bit extra careful with said girl. One more aspect where you are just like your dad.

Despite all this and more,  you prepared for your exams all by yourself, wanting to try complete independence,  had a wonderful Snowd*nia school trip and came back to sterling results. Very good for your first step towards independence.

You also managed to, for fun, memorise the periodic table in its entirety during these hols!

We have now moved to a flat while our house is being renovated and you have adjusted with coco reasonably well. 

We have raging arguments still as the more I control, the more fiercely independent you are. You give wonderful shoulder and neck and leg massages to Daddy and I, whenever we are tired.

You would not do things out of the way on your own yet, but if we ask - you will help us with anything and everything. You are slowly learning to observe and do things even when we do not ask. But given that you are an only child, I think we need to ask more of you to develop this more in you.

With all the shifting, lifting and the daily building site visits, my back pain and daddy's leg pain were stessing us out and on the eve of your birthday we went into a raging argument while decorating the place. You stepped in firmly between us, told us off , asked us to 'stop going on about silly things, while other couples have bigger reasons to fight -fighting because of chores is very silly of you two!'. We did stop as what you said made us realise, it was the stress that was affecting us and not any real reason to blame each other.

As usual, you and Coco have made friends with neighbours here as well and you have them cake and all of them very sweetly gave you gifts and cards. 

Y uncle came as is his usual practice and the wishes from so many people made us realise how social you are and how very much the grown ups are fond of you. Most of your friends changed their status to 'Rrulez' which was kind of sweet!

You topped in religious studies, English, history and maths. Very good scores in science and Spanish but can do with topping :) Especially given your passion is science. It is the graphs that always seem to trip you up!

Grade 5 in singing is what you are working towards. Keyboard classes only to supplement the singing. Still fascinated with Katniss and very interested in medical dramas. Still Social, still cheery, still funny and for me, mind bogglingly still marching to your  and only your  own beat. 

But you still give us a lot of hugs and kisses, call out 'love you' ten times a day and still get thrilled with Pizza, pasta and chocolate milkshake! Some things never change da kuttyma!

Love you kannamma and may you have the very best in life and may you give the very best to life!

Love you to the moon and back

Amma

Summary update 2

 From here we drove to Monolithos caves. Once again the climb was ok and the cafe downstairs was a decent stop for Yoghurt with honey and nuts and some milk shake. I also bought some gifts of olive oil, honey and sweets for N and S. They had been taking loving care of our Coco boy, sweetly sharing video and photo updates - to the delight of the young one. They also let her have a video chat with him one day - and it was very sweet to see Coco getting happy and excited,  licking the phone screen thinking we were in front of him.

Anyway, we went up the monolithos caves to yet another gorgeous view and the church on top. I took care not to pray specifically for anything! ( given the disastrous follow up prayer by R in the previous church!)

Like we were on some mission, we drove next to Kritinia** castle. Went up to the top of this medieval wonder ( of course no cataloguing here either!),  feasted on yet another stupdendous view and finally took the picturesque journey back to the hotel.

 K  wanted to go to a beach, but I and R wanted to rest. So we all rested and K and I watched Kai&&dhi in preparation for our watching the movie Vik*ram once back home. R rested with her book, kindle and tab.

Dad and daughter sprinted off for dinner while I took a nice long shower and rested with a book,.

Day 6- I love long nature walks and hikes - so this day was dedicated to the Seven springs (Epta pi*ges). Having parked next to the cafe as researched earlier, we spotted some beautiful peacocks and made our wa to the nature forest. Dad and daughter went through the dark unlit tunnel , with water flowing on their bare feet, to make it to the lake fed by the springs. I happily took the overhead path and let them enjoy the adventure. R was on her first day of troubles and was being a trooper. We then moved further inward from the green late to the waterfall and had a lovely time fooling around.

We then went back to the cafe where there was a 1 year celebration was going on. Enjoyed the local tradition and went to the verdant outside seating area for our usual milkshakes and fruit juice.

Took some pics and went back.

R rested , while K and I went for some shopping and to get some chocolates for R. 

We also went to have an early dinner by the beach. A lovely hut with an eccentric owner who sang greek songs , lamented the taste of tomatoes and potatoes in England and was generally very funny

Day 7 - R wanted to rest. So, K and I went for a swim and snorkel at La?diko beach. We had lunch at the hotel and started packing. All packed and ready, the three of us checked out and went to the Anthony Qu**inn bay, took some pics and made our way to the airport for a 11.30 flight

We had a nightmare 3 hour delay and a further 40 minutes wait on the plan to be cleared for take off. After a disturbed and restles flight, we finally landed around 5.30 am. We cleared security, collected our luggage and drove from East midlands to our place and reach home by around 6.20am.

7 am K and R (brushed, showered and dressed in uniform) collected Coco and came home.After a quick reunion with our wonderful boy, R was dropped at school and K went to work downstairs and I upstairs.

Overall, one of the most relaxing and wonderful holidays we had ever had.

Very grateful.

Summary update of trip

 Due to the freedom of the rental car, we covered loads more than we intended to, so just jotting down the order and main points.

Day 1 Butterfly garden. Just the young one and I. Loved the hike between the lush trees, lakes, waterfalls. Visited the Kalopetra monastery at the top. Had milkshake and fresh orange juice in the Cafe inbetween. The climb to the monastery - the steps garlanded by flowery shrubs on both sides was fantastic. Took beautiful pics of the young one. Took a taxi back as K was in a call.

Reached the hotel, freshened up and post K's work wrap up, went to the Ladiko beach just for a look-see. 

Had dinner at the best restaurant in Faliraki -Something Differ*ent - it was really the best. 

Day 2 - Visited Tsa,mbika beach. The best beach I have ever gone to. Golden sand, Emerald water and a gentle breeze. The changing facilities in all these beaches were a shack but with a bottom board that keeps your stuff out of sand as well as lots of hooks to hang wet clothes. This made a huge difference and made changing very easy and comfortable. Had a whale of a time swimming and enjoying the fabulous view and feeling very blessed. The sun beds are usually around 8 euros each but are clean and comfortable.  Came back, freshened up and went to Rhodes Old* town. Thoroughly enjoyed the drive, where the road sometimes was just along the beach. Parked just outside the old town and walk along the Marina. Loved the beach and the cruise ships docked there.

Went to the centre of Rhodes town and there was an absolutely heavenly tree covered - and I mean literally covered like a canopy, central square full of restaurants. Went to George's cafe or some such. Food was ok. Walked all around the town enjoying the medieval architecture. Also went to the Monaster of K*nights. This was a complete dud and our first realisation that Rhodes is very weak in cataloguing artefacts and providing info about the ancient artefacts. Throughout Europe, all such places have wonderful cataloguing and the history and story of each artefact takes you back to those times. Here, there were not even basic labels, forget about history of origin. Such rich artefacts throughout Rhodes and not a single one was catalogued properly. Such a shame!

Had some lovely icecream on th eway back, window shopped in loads more shops and came back home happy tired to a piping hot shower from the solar panels in the hotel!

Day 3 - As per our friend P's recommendation - went to K'alithea springs. It was a wonderful place with a sea view wedding venue simply but stunningly decorated in the hellenic style. Took loads of pics and post some deliberation, decided to swim in the springs (though we were told, the thermal springs do not get warm till peak summer). The water was still relatively warm and a welcome respite. The young one and K snokelled for quite a while , while I enjoyed a safe swim nearer to the shore. They went quite far to explore the underwater scenery. 

After a good time, we drove to Lindos town. Though this was a very very pretty beach, we had finished swimming for the day, so we opted to dine at the hill top My**thos restaurant which was at the very start of the plant canopied, winding, very toy like, narrow laned Lindos town with its picturesque white houses. The view was breathtaking - of both Lindos bay and the acropolis. It was very expensive and while K enjoyed his non veg fare, the young one and I had a touch time with the veg fare.

We finished that and decided to brave the climb to the acropolis. It was not too bad. As usual, very little useful cataloguing of such an ancient structure. We took in the views neverthless and came back down to some milkshakes and icecream. The people were very sweet all over Rhodes and this was no exception. The shops had very pretty fare that we window shopped to our hearts content. K's internal radar was perfect  as usual and even in that maze of a town, he took us wherever we wanted to go - only after one glance on our way up to the Acropolis.

Day 4 - We had booked a trip to the beautiful Symi island. Got picked up by shuttle to Rhodes* town. Boarded a cruise ship at the Mand%raki harbour. 1 hour trip to Symi via the fast boat. Very pretty island but because of location, very hot. Thankfully we took the liitle train for the 45 minute tour, absolutely enjoyed the picturesque island and hopped off at the Nos beach bay for a quick snorkel and swim. K did say that the bay was a bit dangerous in that while snorkelling he suddenly found himself above a crate atleast 21 metres deep! But both of them snorkelled and swam to their hearts content.

We walked back, drank some fresh Pomegranate juice and boarded our return boat in the nick of time. Got down at the harbour and took the shuttle back.

Day 5 - Drove to yet another beautiful corner of Lindos to board our yellow s%ubmarine boat. Having done this in Mauritius in 2006 and Maldives in 2007, it was depressing to see how much the fish and sealife have been depleted. As usual, K and the young one jumped off the boat anchored for the same pprpose  in the middle of the sea for some snorkelling and swmming. Am very glad the young one is so comfortable swimming in the sea as this was one skill I really wanted her to have and enjoy.

We came back to Lindos and K wanted to drive all around the island and see all key landmarks. So we did just that ( the drive, once again was breathtakingly beautiful). We first stopped at a super market and bought some pastries, cakes, chocolates, cookies, Kefir and juice for our trip. There was a very cute orthodox xristian workshipping enclave. I prayed sincerely for the young one to take sensible decisions regarding her GCSEs, do well in her A levels and settle down well in life. She went in. I asked her what she prayed for and she cheekily replies ' Please make mummy give me permission to have cup noodles!'. Grrrr!

Our first step was the gorgeous Parsinisi % beach where the the Ionian Sea meets the Aegean sea . This beach had a lot of waves unlike the others we had seen till now. THe air was moist as well and reminded me a lot of Marina beach and the Mumbai coastline.

..To be continued

June 2022

 Just back from a fabulous trip to Rhodes, Greece. This is our first trip abroad after two and a half years. Also, given the pressure on finances, due to the raising cost of living and our huge commitment to renovate the recently bought home, the trip was very touch and go. We booked a relatively less costlier hotel and our friends N and S took care of Coco except for a couple of days when Frank took charge as usual.

Sunday was the flight and Friday was her last exam and we were invited to sweet N baby's house for dinner. Had a great time with the parents N and M - but R was so knackered after her exams that she slept around midnight. So, we had to come home in the middle of a wonderful time.

The day before the trip, as a treat, I took the young one to a hair dresser. The young one had always refused bangs and I always thought wispy bangs looked great on her. We were still discussing this, when the hairdresser, while saysing ' I will just show you how the bangs option will loop' snipped her hair off! (The day before, our dear friend H did the young one's eyebrows and she was very happy with how she looked and was in a ' am feeling pretty' mood!). The tears started falling fast and furious. As always, her tears are very rare, silent and heart breaking. And even more upsetting is that, she sometimes smiles through her tears trying to reassure me she is not actually very sad. 

For the next 3 hours, there were tears, tears and more tears. She did NOT want or like bangs. I thought she looked really good and so did her dad, but she did not like them at all. She went to stagecach still teary eyed. Her teacher said she looked good but two of her friends thought it was not that great. So, more sadness ensued. This frustrated me and I berated her for being spoilt . There were more arguments, much more upset and the packing and getting ready was not great - to say the least. She had just wrapped up her exams, studying and planning her revisions independent of us for the first time and she was very pleased with how she did in her exams and was feeling very grown up. She was looking forward to the holiday and somehow these ' bangs' ruined her life and turned it into a tragedy! Grrrr!

We handed Coco to our friends, gave him lots of hugs and cuddles and left for East Midlands airport. As usual, the young one could not be sad for too long and before long we were happily chatting away. She was now a lot of help with the luggages, check in etc. We successfully boarded the plan and after a very slight delay, took off. (This was a miracle in itself as we were hearing many flights being cancelled etc).

We landed in Rhodes and throughout th eweather was 26 to 27 degrees. Perfect beach weather. Looked like we lucked out as we came at the end of May/beginning of June. Earlier would have been rainy and later would have been unbearably hot. There was always a gentle breeze which made is all the more pleasant.

We took a taxi to Zo-e's hotel in Faliraki. K was working the first 3 days, so the plan was for the young one and I to bond the first 3 days and to spend the next 4 days as a family/. The place was also 2 hours ahead of the UK, so it was easy from that angle as well.

The game changer this time was that we rented a car and K drove us everywhere. This gave us the freedom to take whatever we wanted (one set of dry swim clothes were always in the boot), change our plans as needed, cover loads more places and for the young one to lie down and take rest during the journey.

...To be continued

Contact lens

 Also, while in our previous house, every day morning was a hassle, with me having to put her contacts in, I grew sick and tired and said if she wanted contacts she had to wear them by herself in her new house.

And lo and behold, from day 1 of the end of Feb, at 12,, the contacts went in all by herself, no help needed and now I am the one missing the time spent with her, even in the morning rush!

So, what was all that display of helplessness before about?

Hmmm...

2022 Part 3

 The clashes between the young one and I are achieving legendary proportions now. I understand she is approaching her teens but it is her swing between ' most mature and zen like' to ' as silly as I can be' flips that I am unable to handle! She always had strong opinions, preferences and choices and so do I - a recipe for disaster! One day, I completely broke down and said that I never imagined my relationship with her would be like this - given that she is the one person I have completely and absolutely loved, without any ego whatsoever.  And I did not like the numher of conflicts we were having.

Her reply, and trust me, I quote ' Amma, we have a lovely relationship. You have to lay down the rules for me - as otherwise I may grow up into a spoilt brat. I have to keep doing naughty things  as otherwise I would not enjoy my childhood. This is the normal process for both of us and we are both doing a good job. So, don't worry'. And what do you say to that???

She is clear that her career would only be something that she enjoys doing. She is not going to be competitive or ambitious. She will do what she wants every day only if she enjoys the process. And she would like to speak to as many people as she can, during the course of the day, in her job. And she would like to work in a team. But she would like to make a decent amount of money and be independent financially. This is her view of her future as of 12 years old.

True to her word, for the Chithirai Thiruvizha function, she , with her friends V and Vid practiced a few songs , went on stage and gave a phenomenal performance. Vid's mum kept saying how positive she was and for me it was clear that she completely enjoyed the practices, the time spent with her friends and most of all her spectacularly confident and cool performance on stage. No nervousness whatsoever.

She also read the Tamil thaai vazthu - the pronunciation of which she got pat down within an hour. It is not the easiest poem to conquer especially if you do not understand the language. 

Her maths teacher said she was way above her grade, she received her second commendation ( commendations being rarely given out) for her presentation on who inspired her - Katnys Everden from hunger games - it used to be 'my mum' :() which apparently was brilliant in individuality and Clarity. Frustratingly, though she is the class topper in computers and coding and her teacher thinks she is a natural - she refused to take coding and is taking classical studies instead!

Given her health is slowly bouncing back, I asked her if she wanted to get back to Badminton and she said she would love to, but no tournaments, just playing for fun. Fair enough! (Though she did win Gold in her last county tournament - sigh!)

She checks on Wikepedia and Tiktok on anything ranging from history to politics - especially if it affects/involves Women, Children or Animals. She hates prejudice and challenges adults on any prejudicial statement anybody makes - including her dad and I. She is well liked by all her teachers and respected by quite a few.

She still hates time pressure and would slow even further , if rushed. Everything on her terms -which she assures me, are usually reasonable. 

She is friends mostly with the non academic children at school and to be frank- she seems to  prefer the absolute rule breakers. This baffles me. She herself does not break any rules (apparently everybody knows her mum is very strict!) but is very patient, understanding and kind with these rule breakers ( as they seem to be with her!) - who mostly seem to have very good skills in non academic areas (interior designing, sports, tik tok shorts) -  not at all short money wise,  but  unconventional homes/home arrangements.  She helps them with their homework, joins in their fun and is proud to be the 'nerd' in the group. She seems clear that her path is different to theirs but enjoys spending time with them. 

In all, still the loveable, twinkle eyed, fun loving, spirited R that I think (and hope)she always will be!

We are indeed lucky that our lives are touched by her :) And I am not exaggerating - her teachers say how they look forward to seeing her bright smile and cheery greeting, as they walk into class. As the youngest in her class, while the others have moved on to become surly teens, this is the only 12 year old still not self conscious to say hi and chat with her teachers! :)

2022 Part 2

 So, we were knackered after having moved home and still finding our things when our now 'a street away' S called us over for dinner. What a relief it was to go for some yummy fare when you are absolutely knackered and relieved that after a 3 year search and a 6 month process, you have finally moved in!

We moved in on the Friday and on Sunday was sweet R's 13th birthday celebration. Thanks to my PM skills, I had already organised school clothes, weekend class clothes and the 13th birthday celebration clothes all ready and we were good to go.

It was an unseasonably glorious day and us 8 families had a whale of a time at T and H's home. Photo shoots, elaborate home made fare, dumb charades ( Gents vs Ladies) etc was super fun. Half way through K and I had to step out as a very good friend of ours V and a builder he was hoping to go into partnership with wanted to check out our property and discuss what we needed doing. The visit went well as well. We came back again to join R  and the celebrations. Coco was with his favourite care taker Frank and playmate Mark - so he had a good time as well.

In the weeks following, we had each of these couples and others visiting us every week to check out the house. The standard fare we would serve them was pongal, one pot sambar, coconut and mint chutney. We were wondering if we might as well have had a gathering and introduced them to the house all at once!

A few weeks later, the oldest couple in our group, N and S had their 50th anniversary homam and celebration. Once again, it was a lovely day and we had a great time. The best part was the late night chat where each couple, starting with them reliving the first time they met and how the marriage came about. One of the best times we ever had as a group!

K landed his next contract with his interview the day after - so , all was well.

The week after, we were invited to the house warming function of A and R and their lovely daughter V. It was the last day of R's term - she had a half day out and fun with her friends at the local mall and was too knackered to come. So, we left her and Coco at home and went and had a good time with the usual gang plus some more.

On the tamil new year's day bank holiday, we went once again to Lake district. This time around it was with 7 other families. The first day was great fun with just the ladies in a cottage playing cards and chit chatting The rest of the days were good but there were hiccups due to coordinating with such a large group and some small misunderstanding amongst the ladies.

However, R had a great time as one of our relatively new friends' daughter V got along very well with R. So, she came for a sleep over during the hols and they had a blast. So, throughout the trip as well, this child stayed with us and it was a pleasure for R, her , Coco and us!

Back from the trip, during the hols, R also had first a visit and then a sleep over with her school friend Izzy.  They had a fantastic time and I felt really bad that our home was still so messy that we could not invite her over in return ( V's family is closer to us, so she did not mind the mess!)

How did I forget My blog! 2022 update Part -1

 So, though new year went well, R's health continued to be a concern. Went to a private consultant on the 4th . The unexpected side effect of that visit was that the consultant was very impressed by R's use of specific medical terminology to describe her symptoms and was very vocal about it. This in turn made R suddenly develop an interest in gynaecology and the medical field!

That aside, the very smart and charismatic lady doc reassured me that it was just a matter of time before her health settled and she could not see anything worrisome. I think this is the first time I saw R really personally inspired by somebody. Strange how things work!

While we learned to manage and live with R's health, K's current contract was not going so well. Strangely, though K finds it easy to listen to me - he always clashes with female peers to whom he delivers his services. Once again, for the second time in his career, this lead to him walking out before his contract ended. 

But this worked out in our favour, because after looking at around 45 plus houses since October 2002 and having sold our own house twice ( buyers from the first time had to pull out as they had waited long enough for us to find a house!) we had made an offer on a 'to be done up' property in september2002. But the agent was so bad that twice in the journey we pulled out and once they pulled out. We even made an offer on another property but having slept on it, we felt we were just losing patience and that was not the right way to decide on our forever home. So, we pulled out the next morning.

So, after many ups and downs, finally, our chain of 6, all aligned ( thanks in no small measure to K, who having broken his contract, focused all his efforts on getting this done) and on 22nd , we exchanged contracts. ( It was due on the 18th but the obnoxious solicitor of the seller, moved offices without bothering to inform anybody!)

We finally moved in on the 25th. It was drama lama till the last minute, and we moved out and sat with our things in the Morrison's car park, while the solicitor went off for a late lunch and deigned to come back at 3.30 pm to hand over our keys!

We were knackered after the shenanigans of the day. Only R had lots of fun , as she was on half-term and was in charge of coco. Coco was confused with all the busy goings on that he twice tried to make a break for it! I had to run to the streets to bring him back while R cheerfully commented ' He is so mischievous just like me, isn't he!' Grrrr!

Our sweet neighbour B gave a trove of gifts to R and took a pic with her. She also wrote her a very sweet note - 3 pages long - on how her move and adjustment from the US to the UK was made easy because of R's sunny smile every morning. Made me swell with pride!

(In fact, 3 days after we moved, yet another one of our neighbours, whom we have just waved at and smiled, found our number and messaged how much they would miss seeing R skipping and jumping to and fro the street from home!)