What a roller coaster. With my new job since December, it had been very hectic for both K and I . R with her GCSEs had been working really hard but also had been asking a lot of us in terms of emotional support. We really felt the pressure and planned a birthday trip to Amsterdam and a summer trip following that. (Though the ladies had planned a girls only trip post the exams and since it clashed with my b day, I had to decline as I prefer spending Bdays with K)Work got really bad in terms of pressure and compatibility with my manager and was going through a really intense time with work, GCSEs, managing the home etc. Friendships did not help either. One, over smart lady R, played some games, was really nasty and then had the cheek to ask me for help and reference for a job at my workplace, that she was not qualified for!
At the same time, another lady N was a gem and was a real help in terms of counselling and just being there with dignified support. While all this was going on and R's exams were at their peak, my mom called up and said she feels like she was on her last days and needed me to visit asap. My brother did counsel me that she has these mood swings and I could finish R's exams and leave. I was in a mind to do that but two things changed that stand. In one of many such calls, R was next to me and felt really bad for my mom and suggested that I do visit her, despite R being on her GCSE exams which we had all been working towards emotionally and otherwise for the past couple of years. Secondly, my mom's pleas were getting desperate. ( Especially poignant as, since I married K, she had not spoken to me for 10+ years and contact had been barely 6 hours in the past 15 years and she only saw R first when R was 3). Suddenly, of all of us siblings she needed to see me immediately!
So, I carried work to India - work where the politics was at its highest and I had to work atleast 3 hours more than normal. K, as always in a crisis, was an absolute star. He booked my tickets, organised taxis, local sim cards , helped pack bags etc - so despite external pressures, the journey itself was as smooth as possible. He booked B class , so sailed through all check ins and the B lounges of Emi were an absolute delight. Boarding was mostly through these lounges so could work till the absolute last minute. Service and food were top notch as well.
Even so, had to work in all the lounges and on the taxi from the airport to home. Mom was fine, it turned out. R in fact cried a bit once she realised I actually was going during her GCSEs. But somehow she managed, once again as K worked from home and was a rock solid support. First couple of days mom needed my support to sleep next to her, physically move her etc. The next day of my landing, her elder brother passed away, so had to physically assist her to the crematorium to enable her to see his face. The next few days were spent physically assisting her in the mornings and working late into the night. S, a good friend, chatted with me every day - helped me go through the pressures and the hurtful realisation that mom only wanted me to come because I was the only open door - she was hoping to use my visit to prompt the others to visit.
Went to MMalai with my school class mate A, and it was one of the highlights of the visit. Got smart bulbs, lights and Echo arranged for her and felt I did what I could as a daughter - as have always done.
K understood what I felt and arranged for the last day of my visit to be spent with my absolute delight of a friend C in Chennai. She helped me recover and recharge. We had a spa day and went shopping and that one day helped me feel valued and loved and feel proud as an individual once again. Some friends are just real magic!
In the meanwhile, N, Nam, Ak gave food to K and R more than once and S, Su gave food as well. H, who I once thought was a good friend and who I supported every step of her own journey when her mom was unwell, copied and pasted my own message except the bit where I had said' I would give her family food'. It hurt. Shared with S and then immediately H sent a explanatory message and sent food a couple of days later.
Apart from that, tough times really showed the true faces of a lot of 'friends'. Irrespective, I only ended up feeling blessed with the likes of C, N and S. That is three more than most people have. And of course there was K - my rock.
As soon as I landed back, K whisked me away to Amsterdam for my Birthday as planned. I had been there around 12 years back with M, my friend as a mothers' day gift from both our husbands. It was a tulip tour then. This time it was more of a city tour. K really was gentle and kind and understanding and I vowed to remember this the next time we fought!
R had asked to go to the temple (!) the last day of her exam and they did go and were there when I landed back home. We then left for our holiday the next day. We had a lovely three days visiting hte Ryke museum, Ann* FraK's house, D square, canal walks, Maritime museum etc. Food was beyond amazing - the dutch pancakes with lavender cream , the stroopwaffles, the omelegg breakfasts, anjappar meals and of course the apple pie at winkle 43 was beyond yum. We set the pace and enjoyed immensely.
Back home. Back to work soon. Fingers crossed - the rest of my ashtama sani gets better and not worse!
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