Spring holidays 2023

 Finally we had our house warming and moved into our new home. The Sumangali pooja and the housewarming pooja made me really happy. It was hectic and not perfect but the aspects that were important for me - inviting my friends with saree, choker and bangles at their home, the pooja I did personally in tamil, the samosa, beetroot, kootu soru and Kurma by S and Gulab jamoons by N and the sukku coffee was what I wanted.

The housewarming next day by the gurukkal was as I liked it. We were very upset by the attitude of the priests in the TN temples and left a very bad taste in our mouth - in this day and age, the supremacy and the demand for money by each and every one of them was beyond disgusting. Thankfully, things are different here in the UK and the gentleman we had engaged was very down to earth and did the pooja conscientiously and with true piety. The young one participated fully as he explained everything in English for her. We had a lovely day.

The food was a big hit and was universally praised. We did the traditional Thalai Vazhai Ezhai sappadu and our friends who served breakfast and lunch were particularly mentioned by all attendees as having been very attentive and caring. Thank you T and S !

There was G's function the very next week and as always it was very well organised. It helped us relax and have a good time after a hectic time shifting into the new home ( it was the very next day of shifting!). For the week of shifting, every day we had food delivered by our 6 friends plus D and A for an extra 2 days as well! It helped us focus on shifting and not worry about food. This was a great help!

The next function was dear S's 18th at the temple. Weather was a tad cold, but we managed to attend the function and yagam. Dharisanam was good as well. K had to rush back as R was a tad scared in the new house and I came back with S and M.

It was here that I heard N was unwell, so gave them lunch on Saturday. The rasam turned our too spicy but hopefully it helped clear the cold!

K started his new contract soon after and things started being hectic again. R's school reports are getting more and more brilliant and her clashes with me are competing with those reports!  ( She also passed her grade 5 and is now on to Grade 6 in singing and trinity acting and LAMDA public speaking) .We clash on every little thing and that is not saying it all! But soon after fighting like bitter enemies, we continue talking to each other as though the flash of nuclear threat did not happen at all. Baffles me as much as it does her dad. But that is R for you!

For the Spring holidays, she first started her dance practice for tamil new year and that took us to the other girls' homes - 3 out of 5. They came over one day. We then left for Lincolnshire where we stayed at the lovely , rustic and thoughtfully decorated Man*r House St*bles. We stayed at the Bo*t*y. Unlike before, with Coco pops in tow, we do not rush to tick locations off our list. We take it really easy and just go for walks after a lazy morning breakfast. We stayed in *M*artin. She loved the nook. We had breakfast before leaving at De*c* lounge. We reached around 4 pm and relaxed in the lovely cottage. The different flavoured teas, the columbian coffee, the salted butter, the plum loaf, crisps and chocolate hamper, the deep, deep tub to relax in, the lovely bath products, the flowers and the fire place were all wonderful. I made use of each of these items and revelled in their quality and aesthetics. The kitchen was so tastefully equipped - it was a pleasure to get the tea, coffee or toast done. K was frustrated with the Aga though. 

I had lovely baths on 2 days and basked in the wood fire place once. I made umpteen cups of the wonderful peach and ginger tea in the delightful loose tea kettle and also made columbian coffee cups for K. R spent some time reading in the garden swing and hiding in her nook bed.

Next day, a very late lazy brunch and left for a walk in the wolds at Tetf**d. Had a fantastic walk, taught Coco to fetch the ball. We went to the Linco** Castle and Cathedral, took pics from outside and collected Thai food from Thai***nd no 1. Turned out to be really yummy. The young one wanted to see the copy of the Magna C**ta but with Coco it would be tricky, so we skipped it.

Another lazy breakfast and off to the riverside walk It was again a 3 to 4 hours of walking with Coco bringing joy and fun to the day. We dropped them off at the cottage and set off to have some italian at Loren*o's. Was not to my or K's taste, though it was rated excellent. Shopped at the coop and made R her favourite pasta and called it a night.

Next day, we checked out and after a brief stop at a pit stop where R had subway and we some chinese, we came home and were delighted with how we felt. The home felt very welcoming and awash with light, the way we had envisaged. 

Felt truly calm and ready to hit work from the next day.

December 2022 part 4

K along with us also visited his almamater, CI**T and had a lovely time in the campus, visiting all the old haunts. We then went to my mum's place to say good bye. R was chatting with her and mum was so delighted that she gave her a chain and a ring. R was very proud :)

My uncle and aunt just happened to call to announce the birth of their granddaughter in the US. They were delighted to know we were there and immediately all plans changed and before leaving to the airport, they insisted to take us to the 'Annalaks**' restaurant. R delighted them as well and they insisted that we wrap up our work and let htem know once we reach the airport so they could come and see us off.

Our 'work' was to buy some tanjore paintings and also visit B, M and A at B's childhood home. Once again, we had a lovely time. R had mentioned she felt like having Samosa, so there it was big and small, with of course other home made delights. Young A also sang 3 lovely songs, one kannana kanne, one ranga puravihara and one sanskrit murugan song - beautifully.

 We went from there to the airport where my uncle and aunt had kindly got some nochi leaves to cure my throat cold and gave us some more home made stuff as well.

We moved to another hotel nearer to C and V ( they had both sets of inlaws living with them, so we opted not to stay at their home this time) and went on our usual end of the year trip. Had the best time at Mtham resort, dancing for folk music, lovely food, swimming, archery, shooting, table tennis, bad minton, oonjal, bullock cart rides, kayiru kattil tea with bajji and chutney, pump set kuliyal, milking of hte cows etc - but C fell unwell ( later diagnosed as swine flu contracted from her fil), so they left early with little K who was coughing as well. Ra was owed time with our R ( due to his trip earlier), so he stayed back with us. We had a lovely time and visited Mahabs  five chariots. Could not go to the shore temple due to the crowd and heat. 

We then visited Marin* mall where the kids had a blast with fish spa, pizza, pasta, icecream, samosa, cake - Ra had to match K's fun with R after all! :) Came back to the hotel and R and Ra played fooze ball. Dropped Ra back on new year's eve but could not do the cake cutting and celeberation as C was still unwell.

We had a photo shoot for a family album and R had a blast with professional make up and hair dressing done.

Last minute shopping and packing was done and on the eve of our leaving, we ensured we did our ritual cake cutting and celeberation for ushering in the new year.

The grandparents came to spend some time with R, so R, K and the grandparents had lunch in the hotel and R played fooze ball and chess with her thathiya while I wrapped up the packing. Visited the nearby temple as always before leaving.

Came back refreshed, rebonded and ready to face the challenges of our building site once again! :)

PS one of hte best bits was that we had a consultation with a Homeo doctor and with her medication, R's monthly troubles had a drastic change, int hat they were dramatically reduced in volume and hence the trip was relatively smooth. Yet to see the effect of the remaining tablets.

December 2022 part 3

 Too tired to document the trip day by day, so just a few highlights

Food throughout the trip was awesome. Be it the sw**ggy hot chocolate, sugar cane juice, andhi* kadai, South Indian village specialities or the meals at C’s place or the breakfast at Mari**, or vasantha bh** at Phoen** mall or Savya * rasa Kerala meal or ‘inti**bo**Janam on our weddding day or the best of all meals at the Marutham** res**ort ( ulundhu kali, Kambu kanji, avarakkai poriyal and lots of the other food that took me to healthy 80s Kalyana sappadu)

R was praised by both K’s grandparents as well as my  mum and uncle and aunt and sister in law for being friendly, polite, cleaning up after her, helping them out, attempting to speak tamil always and for her ‘lovely’ habits. She made me inordinately proud and even when they teased me about how I must be a very strict mum, while I expected her to agree with them and complain, she just hugged and kissed me, in response. I was on top of the world and though confused by her behaviour which contrasted with our fights which still continued when we were alone, was very very proud.

R, Ra and K, the three musketeers as always had the greatest fun. Ra , K and C came to visit us the day after we arrived and the usual bonding picked up right away. Ra had a school trip to go to, so just little K and R enjoyed  with K in the hotel pool and mall while C and I went to our ritual T naga* shopping. They had a blast, we had a blast and poor R was in tears epwhen he returned from his trip as he hated missing out, though he himself had great fun in his trip. 

Sometimes the young one and I went by ourselves to the mall where I got her a blow dry and I got my nails done and we shopped and bonded.

Given the health actionconcerns we both went for a daylong health check up and it was worse than being in a busy railway st best.  Those couple of days were the worst and I picked up a nasty throat infection that troubled me painfully for 8 days. Never again at Ap*ll* Centre! 

Though the follow up fell on our wedding day, C kindly took R for the day ( and what a day R had, being pampered by C with bangles and shopping and picking up young K from school) , we wrapped up the follow up and went for a lovely andhra lunch, parthasarathy temple and marina beach. We also accidentally dicsovered that the lady providing me with blouse was S **Sekh**r's daughter in law. We went inside so had a glimpse at the house as well.

K and I went to Kanchipuram and visited the Kamashi temple, which was very clean and very well maintained. Athi varadhar, ekambara temple and on the advice of our friend, the chitragupta temple as well. The young one preferred to rest and was on face time throughout. We started quite early and hence finished all of it and had time to also go to the famous Bbu SAH shop. 

The young one was at her grandparents' house a lot and had a good time. She charmed them and their neighbours as well. She was not comfortable with the toilets there, hence our stay at the hotel. 

We went to mylapore temple with C and the boys and also finished a lot of the photo frames and lamps shopping there. The temple was as charming as always.

Two days before xmas, C's apartment had a xmas celebration party and it was awesome. In the outdoors there was food, music and dance by kids and parents. The best bit was the pet show where the apartment pets - including a tortoise, were presented by kids and parents. Browser, Maggie, Maran etc were some of the delightful participants. Made us miss our dear Coco lots!

Just before leaving for coim, R and I had yet another massive fight. This time C came to visit to reconcile us and advised us both strongly. We seemed to understand each other a little more and it definitely helped. We all went to the mall to watch 'Avta the wate world' in the freezing AC of the mall and caught dinner at V bhavan. late in the night.. K fell sick the next day.

The 4 day coimbatre trip was awesome as well. The flight reached on time and we checked in to the I*on annapo*rna hotel. The rooms were big and nice but service all throughout the city and especially the hotel was apalling. K fell sick the first two days and rested in the room. I took the young one to my school , showed her around and also to my childhood favourite haunts of laxmi complex and 'Selva singh' stores. We both bonded quite well. B, M and young A, our friends from Solihull delighted us with a dinner treat from the fine dining K*ve restaurant along with their mum. They gave us lovely gifts of silk saree, silk dhoti and silk pavadai and sattai for the young one. Also, the divine tanjore painting of Muruga for our new abode. 

We visited my sis in law's new cbe flat at Cas* Grand* and the young one spent some good time with her cousin N.  They were taking a break here post N's graduation and will return to their home in the US post a month or so.

I took the young one to visit my mum, who she delighted with her tamil and general friendliness.

The next day we started early to Martha Malai. On the way we picked up M. M, the young one and I climbed all the stairs, while K who was still recovering came up by car. We had a fantastic dharshan and M send me and R on a second round since I was so happy. Truly a brother from another mother! :)

We then dropped M. We also visited cousin N with K and took her to perur temple. Once again a lovely dharshan and the kovil yaanai darisanam was done,

Continued

December 2022 part 2

 K had, despite everything planned the trip very well as well. Just to add to the work, house build, shenanigans of R and I and the planning of the trip and taking care of Coco who had decided to do middle of the night outings, he had also attended and cleared his interview for the next contract and had an offer on hand.

We had planned to spend a day extra in Dubai as I wanted to visit the gold souk though we have holidayed  extensively in Dubai. To be fair, R helped us with the luggages, the transit etc and was not being a spoilt brat. The airlines had organised a stay for us in a hotel  (Coptho**rne)and had given us 2 rooms. To maintain peace I took a room and K and R the other. We had not told R, so when I turned away to another room, she was mildly shocked and came immediately over to hug me and ask if I would not be lonely alone. She and I were not on talking terms just for a couple of hours before then. It is moments like this that reassure me how intrinsically sweet she is, despite everything. We slept well

The room was, clean, ample space and all three meals were provided. I really liked the buffet spread that was on offer, all three times. We went to the souk, did some shopping and walked back the marina where K had spent time as an youngster fresh out of his engineering as his first job from campus was in the UAE

We also purchased gifts for C and V and also Addu at the airport. Even at the souk, R was very friendly to strangers and generally polite to everybody. There was a Saudi lady sat next to her, fully covered  and she piped up’ I like your eye make up’. They all immediately smiled and complimented me on my friendly teen. If only they knew!

We landed around 8 am in Chennai. The flights were ok but the food was terrible. K’s dear friend SKN was a big shot in  Chennai, so had arranged for a special attendant to usher us through the airport formalities on a priority basis and also for the golf cart to collect us straight out of the flight. R was mighty embarrassed as none of us were expecting this and were stunned.

An innova car was waiting for us but getting out of the parking from the airport was chaotic. We reached our West**n Vela**chery hotel. SKN had arranged an early check in for us, so it was a relief to check in and relax. We did not opt for the hotel breakfast but ordered healthy fare from sw**ggy and loved it. Our friend V had already arranged for local sims and phones, so K immediately called his parents and they were delighted to talk to R and could not wait to see her.

..continued 

December 2022

 Year 2022 especially after the young one turned a teen was shocking to say the least. It was as though a switch had been flipped and my sweet and innocent little one just realised that I could perhaps be an enemy spy planted to cause her harm or some such! We have always had arguments and clashes but these assumed epic proportions. She did not want to be ‘told’ to do anything, be it breakfast or dressing up or general hygiene or sleeping hours. Everything became a battle and every generally agreed rule was broken. Us being stuck in a poorly insulated, noisy flat wit K going through his busiest and most stressful contract while we balanced the house build and the delays there on, only added to the stress.

Due to not drinking water and a really stupid impulsive act, we had to take her overnight to the hospital three times. The first time was after K had not literally slept for two days due to ongoing programme work. We were really angry with her general thoughtlessness and were  at the end of our tether. I started crying at the drop of a hat and started having chest heaviness. One day this got so bad that on citing the symptoms to non urgent care in a call, they immediately sent an ambulance and I had to spend a day at the hospital getting cardiac checks done. Turns out there was an inversion/ anomaly in the heart beat but they were not unduly worried.

She was turning away from her close friends at school as well but at the same time doing well in her studies and won a Physics presentation as well. 

Our dear friend S was facing similar issues with her daughter, so she came over with R's favourite potato fry and took her for a long walk. She came back and said R was as innocent as ever and is only missing chats with a sibling to complain about parents, which all her other peers seem to have. Otherwise she had nothing bad to say about us. :(

We had planned to do our house warming before leaving, unfortunately I had to cancel invitations sent out due to supply issues with the glass lanterns.

It is in this context that we left to India. The trip to the airport was fraught as R and I just could not get along. k had a tough time keeping us civil to each other.

..continued

Summer 2022

 7 friends. 7 parties. Yummy food. Relocation to a newly renovated, surrounded by Greenery, but very noisy ( train track beyond the greenery) flat. Very difficult find as nobody willing to rent for short term with a pet. 2 sleep overs with ladies. R had a 2 days and 1 night sleep over at V's place. She went for a day long play date with Izzy. V came for a sleep  over. Had a ex colleague and good friend's 40th dinner treat at De*co lounge. Met a lot of new lovely ladies, had a great time. Fell down and hurt myself trying to hang curtains in the flat. Daily visits to the building site. New friends S and V delivered a huge batch of sambar to tide us through! :) Went to southall to see the factory of windows, bifold doors, roof lanterns etc. Did a bit of shopping.

For the bank holiday weekend, went for a 2 nights, 3 day trip to Diss. Stayed at the w*ood place. An amazingly huge bungalow with a massive front garden full of trees and shrubs. A place of full of light. Huge windows and a reading floor with a massive window. The exact break we needed from the flat. We had an absolutely smashing relaxing time. Went for nature walks and on the way back enjoyed thetford forest. 

Back to the grind now. School in a week. V Chathurthi celebrations at N's place on the 31st and sleepover with a movie, cards, antakshari and mexican snacks ( Ochatha, pitta bread, veg puffs, mexican mango salad and home made humus ) till 4 am and woke up at 7 am for a chiquilita breakfast, ginger tea and chit chat till 11 am. All good except the body mass! K picked up V for a sleep over with R - so all good on that front as well!

That was our summer '22.

P

Letter to my princess, My new teen girl!

 Dear Kannamma

You are now a brand new teenager! Can you believe it?

While you have grown drastically in height and are no longer the tiniest in class and of course you are a young lady who is now wearing my clothes, the spirited giggle, the adamant resilience, the obstinate commitment to fun first and the overcrowded teeth tell a charmingly different story altogether! :)

We had a great busy summer this time. Once back from Greece, the last term of school was not great - in the sense that somebody whom you thought was a close friend, turned out to be a huge disappointment. You took it in your stride, faced it head on and indomitably took on the head of your form staunchly defending your truth. You class teacher and the school counsellor were very clear how much they admired you for the same. You did it politely but firmly. You simply had no fear. 

The other friends were too scared to support you outright as this 'friend' had mental health issues, but you took our advice not to take it to heart but continue to be friendly with them. A very important life lesson that would serve you particularly well in corporate life. But, I must say you handled it much better than I would have. I may have done the same things you did but back at home, I would have sobbed my heart out. But you stood strong there and you stood strong at home. You were practical and better at slowly but surely regulating your emotions regarding the whole sordid but beyond silly affair.

A new update on the above. This year, despite all the drama that happened before the holidays and the rift before the holidays, you said 'hi' and initiated a conversation with the 'friend' when you met after the hols. I would have never done that and have never done it. She would have been banished from my life forever. But you said life was too short and you would rather not hold grudges but just be a bit extra careful with said girl. One more aspect where you are just like your dad.

Despite all this and more,  you prepared for your exams all by yourself, wanting to try complete independence,  had a wonderful Snowd*nia school trip and came back to sterling results. Very good for your first step towards independence.

You also managed to, for fun, memorise the periodic table in its entirety during these hols!

We have now moved to a flat while our house is being renovated and you have adjusted with coco reasonably well. 

We have raging arguments still as the more I control, the more fiercely independent you are. You give wonderful shoulder and neck and leg massages to Daddy and I, whenever we are tired.

You would not do things out of the way on your own yet, but if we ask - you will help us with anything and everything. You are slowly learning to observe and do things even when we do not ask. But given that you are an only child, I think we need to ask more of you to develop this more in you.

With all the shifting, lifting and the daily building site visits, my back pain and daddy's leg pain were stessing us out and on the eve of your birthday we went into a raging argument while decorating the place. You stepped in firmly between us, told us off , asked us to 'stop going on about silly things, while other couples have bigger reasons to fight -fighting because of chores is very silly of you two!'. We did stop as what you said made us realise, it was the stress that was affecting us and not any real reason to blame each other.

As usual, you and Coco have made friends with neighbours here as well and you have them cake and all of them very sweetly gave you gifts and cards. 

Y uncle came as is his usual practice and the wishes from so many people made us realise how social you are and how very much the grown ups are fond of you. Most of your friends changed their status to 'Rrulez' which was kind of sweet!

You topped in religious studies, English, history and maths. Very good scores in science and Spanish but can do with topping :) Especially given your passion is science. It is the graphs that always seem to trip you up!

Grade 5 in singing is what you are working towards. Keyboard classes only to supplement the singing. Still fascinated with Katniss and very interested in medical dramas. Still Social, still cheery, still funny and for me, mind bogglingly still marching to your  and only your  own beat. 

But you still give us a lot of hugs and kisses, call out 'love you' ten times a day and still get thrilled with Pizza, pasta and chocolate milkshake! Some things never change da kuttyma!

Love you kannamma and may you have the very best in life and may you give the very best to life!

Love you to the moon and back

Amma

Summary update 2

 From here we drove to Monolithos caves. Once again the climb was ok and the cafe downstairs was a decent stop for Yoghurt with honey and nuts and some milk shake. I also bought some gifts of olive oil, honey and sweets for N and S. They had been taking loving care of our Coco boy, sweetly sharing video and photo updates - to the delight of the young one. They also let her have a video chat with him one day - and it was very sweet to see Coco getting happy and excited,  licking the phone screen thinking we were in front of him.

Anyway, we went up the monolithos caves to yet another gorgeous view and the church on top. I took care not to pray specifically for anything! ( given the disastrous follow up prayer by R in the previous church!)

Like we were on some mission, we drove next to Kritinia** castle. Went up to the top of this medieval wonder ( of course no cataloguing here either!),  feasted on yet another stupdendous view and finally took the picturesque journey back to the hotel.

 K  wanted to go to a beach, but I and R wanted to rest. So we all rested and K and I watched Kai&&dhi in preparation for our watching the movie Vik*ram once back home. R rested with her book, kindle and tab.

Dad and daughter sprinted off for dinner while I took a nice long shower and rested with a book,.

Day 6- I love long nature walks and hikes - so this day was dedicated to the Seven springs (Epta pi*ges). Having parked next to the cafe as researched earlier, we spotted some beautiful peacocks and made our wa to the nature forest. Dad and daughter went through the dark unlit tunnel , with water flowing on their bare feet, to make it to the lake fed by the springs. I happily took the overhead path and let them enjoy the adventure. R was on her first day of troubles and was being a trooper. We then moved further inward from the green late to the waterfall and had a lovely time fooling around.

We then went back to the cafe where there was a 1 year celebration was going on. Enjoyed the local tradition and went to the verdant outside seating area for our usual milkshakes and fruit juice.

Took some pics and went back.

R rested , while K and I went for some shopping and to get some chocolates for R. 

We also went to have an early dinner by the beach. A lovely hut with an eccentric owner who sang greek songs , lamented the taste of tomatoes and potatoes in England and was generally very funny

Day 7 - R wanted to rest. So, K and I went for a swim and snorkel at La?diko beach. We had lunch at the hotel and started packing. All packed and ready, the three of us checked out and went to the Anthony Qu**inn bay, took some pics and made our way to the airport for a 11.30 flight

We had a nightmare 3 hour delay and a further 40 minutes wait on the plan to be cleared for take off. After a disturbed and restles flight, we finally landed around 5.30 am. We cleared security, collected our luggage and drove from East midlands to our place and reach home by around 6.20am.

7 am K and R (brushed, showered and dressed in uniform) collected Coco and came home.After a quick reunion with our wonderful boy, R was dropped at school and K went to work downstairs and I upstairs.

Overall, one of the most relaxing and wonderful holidays we had ever had.

Very grateful.

Summary update of trip

 Due to the freedom of the rental car, we covered loads more than we intended to, so just jotting down the order and main points.

Day 1 Butterfly garden. Just the young one and I. Loved the hike between the lush trees, lakes, waterfalls. Visited the Kalopetra monastery at the top. Had milkshake and fresh orange juice in the Cafe inbetween. The climb to the monastery - the steps garlanded by flowery shrubs on both sides was fantastic. Took beautiful pics of the young one. Took a taxi back as K was in a call.

Reached the hotel, freshened up and post K's work wrap up, went to the Ladiko beach just for a look-see. 

Had dinner at the best restaurant in Faliraki -Something Differ*ent - it was really the best. 

Day 2 - Visited Tsa,mbika beach. The best beach I have ever gone to. Golden sand, Emerald water and a gentle breeze. The changing facilities in all these beaches were a shack but with a bottom board that keeps your stuff out of sand as well as lots of hooks to hang wet clothes. This made a huge difference and made changing very easy and comfortable. Had a whale of a time swimming and enjoying the fabulous view and feeling very blessed. The sun beds are usually around 8 euros each but are clean and comfortable.  Came back, freshened up and went to Rhodes Old* town. Thoroughly enjoyed the drive, where the road sometimes was just along the beach. Parked just outside the old town and walk along the Marina. Loved the beach and the cruise ships docked there.

Went to the centre of Rhodes town and there was an absolutely heavenly tree covered - and I mean literally covered like a canopy, central square full of restaurants. Went to George's cafe or some such. Food was ok. Walked all around the town enjoying the medieval architecture. Also went to the Monaster of K*nights. This was a complete dud and our first realisation that Rhodes is very weak in cataloguing artefacts and providing info about the ancient artefacts. Throughout Europe, all such places have wonderful cataloguing and the history and story of each artefact takes you back to those times. Here, there were not even basic labels, forget about history of origin. Such rich artefacts throughout Rhodes and not a single one was catalogued properly. Such a shame!

Had some lovely icecream on th eway back, window shopped in loads more shops and came back home happy tired to a piping hot shower from the solar panels in the hotel!

Day 3 - As per our friend P's recommendation - went to K'alithea springs. It was a wonderful place with a sea view wedding venue simply but stunningly decorated in the hellenic style. Took loads of pics and post some deliberation, decided to swim in the springs (though we were told, the thermal springs do not get warm till peak summer). The water was still relatively warm and a welcome respite. The young one and K snokelled for quite a while , while I enjoyed a safe swim nearer to the shore. They went quite far to explore the underwater scenery. 

After a good time, we drove to Lindos town. Though this was a very very pretty beach, we had finished swimming for the day, so we opted to dine at the hill top My**thos restaurant which was at the very start of the plant canopied, winding, very toy like, narrow laned Lindos town with its picturesque white houses. The view was breathtaking - of both Lindos bay and the acropolis. It was very expensive and while K enjoyed his non veg fare, the young one and I had a touch time with the veg fare.

We finished that and decided to brave the climb to the acropolis. It was not too bad. As usual, very little useful cataloguing of such an ancient structure. We took in the views neverthless and came back down to some milkshakes and icecream. The people were very sweet all over Rhodes and this was no exception. The shops had very pretty fare that we window shopped to our hearts content. K's internal radar was perfect  as usual and even in that maze of a town, he took us wherever we wanted to go - only after one glance on our way up to the Acropolis.

Day 4 - We had booked a trip to the beautiful Symi island. Got picked up by shuttle to Rhodes* town. Boarded a cruise ship at the Mand%raki harbour. 1 hour trip to Symi via the fast boat. Very pretty island but because of location, very hot. Thankfully we took the liitle train for the 45 minute tour, absolutely enjoyed the picturesque island and hopped off at the Nos beach bay for a quick snorkel and swim. K did say that the bay was a bit dangerous in that while snorkelling he suddenly found himself above a crate atleast 21 metres deep! But both of them snorkelled and swam to their hearts content.

We walked back, drank some fresh Pomegranate juice and boarded our return boat in the nick of time. Got down at the harbour and took the shuttle back.

Day 5 - Drove to yet another beautiful corner of Lindos to board our yellow s%ubmarine boat. Having done this in Mauritius in 2006 and Maldives in 2007, it was depressing to see how much the fish and sealife have been depleted. As usual, K and the young one jumped off the boat anchored for the same pprpose  in the middle of the sea for some snorkelling and swmming. Am very glad the young one is so comfortable swimming in the sea as this was one skill I really wanted her to have and enjoy.

We came back to Lindos and K wanted to drive all around the island and see all key landmarks. So we did just that ( the drive, once again was breathtakingly beautiful). We first stopped at a super market and bought some pastries, cakes, chocolates, cookies, Kefir and juice for our trip. There was a very cute orthodox xristian workshipping enclave. I prayed sincerely for the young one to take sensible decisions regarding her GCSEs, do well in her A levels and settle down well in life. She went in. I asked her what she prayed for and she cheekily replies ' Please make mummy give me permission to have cup noodles!'. Grrrr!

Our first step was the gorgeous Parsinisi % beach where the the Ionian Sea meets the Aegean sea . This beach had a lot of waves unlike the others we had seen till now. THe air was moist as well and reminded me a lot of Marina beach and the Mumbai coastline.

..To be continued

June 2022

 Just back from a fabulous trip to Rhodes, Greece. This is our first trip abroad after two and a half years. Also, given the pressure on finances, due to the raising cost of living and our huge commitment to renovate the recently bought home, the trip was very touch and go. We booked a relatively less costlier hotel and our friends N and S took care of Coco except for a couple of days when Frank took charge as usual.

Sunday was the flight and Friday was her last exam and we were invited to sweet N baby's house for dinner. Had a great time with the parents N and M - but R was so knackered after her exams that she slept around midnight. So, we had to come home in the middle of a wonderful time.

The day before the trip, as a treat, I took the young one to a hair dresser. The young one had always refused bangs and I always thought wispy bangs looked great on her. We were still discussing this, when the hairdresser, while saysing ' I will just show you how the bangs option will loop' snipped her hair off! (The day before, our dear friend H did the young one's eyebrows and she was very happy with how she looked and was in a ' am feeling pretty' mood!). The tears started falling fast and furious. As always, her tears are very rare, silent and heart breaking. And even more upsetting is that, she sometimes smiles through her tears trying to reassure me she is not actually very sad. 

For the next 3 hours, there were tears, tears and more tears. She did NOT want or like bangs. I thought she looked really good and so did her dad, but she did not like them at all. She went to stagecach still teary eyed. Her teacher said she looked good but two of her friends thought it was not that great. So, more sadness ensued. This frustrated me and I berated her for being spoilt . There were more arguments, much more upset and the packing and getting ready was not great - to say the least. She had just wrapped up her exams, studying and planning her revisions independent of us for the first time and she was very pleased with how she did in her exams and was feeling very grown up. She was looking forward to the holiday and somehow these ' bangs' ruined her life and turned it into a tragedy! Grrrr!

We handed Coco to our friends, gave him lots of hugs and cuddles and left for East Midlands airport. As usual, the young one could not be sad for too long and before long we were happily chatting away. She was now a lot of help with the luggages, check in etc. We successfully boarded the plan and after a very slight delay, took off. (This was a miracle in itself as we were hearing many flights being cancelled etc).

We landed in Rhodes and throughout th eweather was 26 to 27 degrees. Perfect beach weather. Looked like we lucked out as we came at the end of May/beginning of June. Earlier would have been rainy and later would have been unbearably hot. There was always a gentle breeze which made is all the more pleasant.

We took a taxi to Zo-e's hotel in Faliraki. K was working the first 3 days, so the plan was for the young one and I to bond the first 3 days and to spend the next 4 days as a family/. The place was also 2 hours ahead of the UK, so it was easy from that angle as well.

The game changer this time was that we rented a car and K drove us everywhere. This gave us the freedom to take whatever we wanted (one set of dry swim clothes were always in the boot), change our plans as needed, cover loads more places and for the young one to lie down and take rest during the journey.

...To be continued

Contact lens

 Also, while in our previous house, every day morning was a hassle, with me having to put her contacts in, I grew sick and tired and said if she wanted contacts she had to wear them by herself in her new house.

And lo and behold, from day 1 of the end of Feb, at 12,, the contacts went in all by herself, no help needed and now I am the one missing the time spent with her, even in the morning rush!

So, what was all that display of helplessness before about?

Hmmm...

2022 Part 3

 The clashes between the young one and I are achieving legendary proportions now. I understand she is approaching her teens but it is her swing between ' most mature and zen like' to ' as silly as I can be' flips that I am unable to handle! She always had strong opinions, preferences and choices and so do I - a recipe for disaster! One day, I completely broke down and said that I never imagined my relationship with her would be like this - given that she is the one person I have completely and absolutely loved, without any ego whatsoever.  And I did not like the numher of conflicts we were having.

Her reply, and trust me, I quote ' Amma, we have a lovely relationship. You have to lay down the rules for me - as otherwise I may grow up into a spoilt brat. I have to keep doing naughty things  as otherwise I would not enjoy my childhood. This is the normal process for both of us and we are both doing a good job. So, don't worry'. And what do you say to that???

She is clear that her career would only be something that she enjoys doing. She is not going to be competitive or ambitious. She will do what she wants every day only if she enjoys the process. And she would like to speak to as many people as she can, during the course of the day, in her job. And she would like to work in a team. But she would like to make a decent amount of money and be independent financially. This is her view of her future as of 12 years old.

True to her word, for the Chithirai Thiruvizha function, she , with her friends V and Vid practiced a few songs , went on stage and gave a phenomenal performance. Vid's mum kept saying how positive she was and for me it was clear that she completely enjoyed the practices, the time spent with her friends and most of all her spectacularly confident and cool performance on stage. No nervousness whatsoever.

She also read the Tamil thaai vazthu - the pronunciation of which she got pat down within an hour. It is not the easiest poem to conquer especially if you do not understand the language. 

Her maths teacher said she was way above her grade, she received her second commendation ( commendations being rarely given out) for her presentation on who inspired her - Katnys Everden from hunger games - it used to be 'my mum' :() which apparently was brilliant in individuality and Clarity. Frustratingly, though she is the class topper in computers and coding and her teacher thinks she is a natural - she refused to take coding and is taking classical studies instead!

Given her health is slowly bouncing back, I asked her if she wanted to get back to Badminton and she said she would love to, but no tournaments, just playing for fun. Fair enough! (Though she did win Gold in her last county tournament - sigh!)

She checks on Wikepedia and Tiktok on anything ranging from history to politics - especially if it affects/involves Women, Children or Animals. She hates prejudice and challenges adults on any prejudicial statement anybody makes - including her dad and I. She is well liked by all her teachers and respected by quite a few.

She still hates time pressure and would slow even further , if rushed. Everything on her terms -which she assures me, are usually reasonable. 

She is friends mostly with the non academic children at school and to be frank- she seems to  prefer the absolute rule breakers. This baffles me. She herself does not break any rules (apparently everybody knows her mum is very strict!) but is very patient, understanding and kind with these rule breakers ( as they seem to be with her!) - who mostly seem to have very good skills in non academic areas (interior designing, sports, tik tok shorts) -  not at all short money wise,  but  unconventional homes/home arrangements.  She helps them with their homework, joins in their fun and is proud to be the 'nerd' in the group. She seems clear that her path is different to theirs but enjoys spending time with them. 

In all, still the loveable, twinkle eyed, fun loving, spirited R that I think (and hope)she always will be!

We are indeed lucky that our lives are touched by her :) And I am not exaggerating - her teachers say how they look forward to seeing her bright smile and cheery greeting, as they walk into class. As the youngest in her class, while the others have moved on to become surly teens, this is the only 12 year old still not self conscious to say hi and chat with her teachers! :)

2022 Part 2

 So, we were knackered after having moved home and still finding our things when our now 'a street away' S called us over for dinner. What a relief it was to go for some yummy fare when you are absolutely knackered and relieved that after a 3 year search and a 6 month process, you have finally moved in!

We moved in on the Friday and on Sunday was sweet R's 13th birthday celebration. Thanks to my PM skills, I had already organised school clothes, weekend class clothes and the 13th birthday celebration clothes all ready and we were good to go.

It was an unseasonably glorious day and us 8 families had a whale of a time at T and H's home. Photo shoots, elaborate home made fare, dumb charades ( Gents vs Ladies) etc was super fun. Half way through K and I had to step out as a very good friend of ours V and a builder he was hoping to go into partnership with wanted to check out our property and discuss what we needed doing. The visit went well as well. We came back again to join R  and the celebrations. Coco was with his favourite care taker Frank and playmate Mark - so he had a good time as well.

In the weeks following, we had each of these couples and others visiting us every week to check out the house. The standard fare we would serve them was pongal, one pot sambar, coconut and mint chutney. We were wondering if we might as well have had a gathering and introduced them to the house all at once!

A few weeks later, the oldest couple in our group, N and S had their 50th anniversary homam and celebration. Once again, it was a lovely day and we had a great time. The best part was the late night chat where each couple, starting with them reliving the first time they met and how the marriage came about. One of the best times we ever had as a group!

K landed his next contract with his interview the day after - so , all was well.

The week after, we were invited to the house warming function of A and R and their lovely daughter V. It was the last day of R's term - she had a half day out and fun with her friends at the local mall and was too knackered to come. So, we left her and Coco at home and went and had a good time with the usual gang plus some more.

On the tamil new year's day bank holiday, we went once again to Lake district. This time around it was with 7 other families. The first day was great fun with just the ladies in a cottage playing cards and chit chatting The rest of the days were good but there were hiccups due to coordinating with such a large group and some small misunderstanding amongst the ladies.

However, R had a great time as one of our relatively new friends' daughter V got along very well with R. So, she came for a sleep over during the hols and they had a blast. So, throughout the trip as well, this child stayed with us and it was a pleasure for R, her , Coco and us!

Back from the trip, during the hols, R also had first a visit and then a sleep over with her school friend Izzy.  They had a fantastic time and I felt really bad that our home was still so messy that we could not invite her over in return ( V's family is closer to us, so she did not mind the mess!)

How did I forget My blog! 2022 update Part -1

 So, though new year went well, R's health continued to be a concern. Went to a private consultant on the 4th . The unexpected side effect of that visit was that the consultant was very impressed by R's use of specific medical terminology to describe her symptoms and was very vocal about it. This in turn made R suddenly develop an interest in gynaecology and the medical field!

That aside, the very smart and charismatic lady doc reassured me that it was just a matter of time before her health settled and she could not see anything worrisome. I think this is the first time I saw R really personally inspired by somebody. Strange how things work!

While we learned to manage and live with R's health, K's current contract was not going so well. Strangely, though K finds it easy to listen to me - he always clashes with female peers to whom he delivers his services. Once again, for the second time in his career, this lead to him walking out before his contract ended. 

But this worked out in our favour, because after looking at around 45 plus houses since October 2002 and having sold our own house twice ( buyers from the first time had to pull out as they had waited long enough for us to find a house!) we had made an offer on a 'to be done up' property in september2002. But the agent was so bad that twice in the journey we pulled out and once they pulled out. We even made an offer on another property but having slept on it, we felt we were just losing patience and that was not the right way to decide on our forever home. So, we pulled out the next morning.

So, after many ups and downs, finally, our chain of 6, all aligned ( thanks in no small measure to K, who having broken his contract, focused all his efforts on getting this done) and on 22nd , we exchanged contracts. ( It was due on the 18th but the obnoxious solicitor of the seller, moved offices without bothering to inform anybody!)

We finally moved in on the 25th. It was drama lama till the last minute, and we moved out and sat with our things in the Morrison's car park, while the solicitor went off for a late lunch and deigned to come back at 3.30 pm to hand over our keys!

We were knackered after the shenanigans of the day. Only R had lots of fun , as she was on half-term and was in charge of coco. Coco was confused with all the busy goings on that he twice tried to make a break for it! I had to run to the streets to bring him back while R cheerfully commented ' He is so mischievous just like me, isn't he!' Grrrr!

Our sweet neighbour B gave a trove of gifts to R and took a pic with her. She also wrote her a very sweet note - 3 pages long - on how her move and adjustment from the US to the UK was made easy because of R's sunny smile every morning. Made me swell with pride!

(In fact, 3 days after we moved, yet another one of our neighbours, whom we have just waved at and smiled, found our number and messaged how much they would miss seeing R skipping and jumping to and fro the street from home!)

December holidays:2021

October started well..October 18 the was N’s seemandham in a hall and next day was A’s house warming at Warwick. Both were wonderful 31st was Solihull A’s grand feast and that was really good as well.

 November onwards was tough going in the K household. Our precious R fell ill with non COVID tiredness and flu and missed 25 percent of school this term. After lots of heart ache, tests and GP and consultant visits ( complicated more by the loss of  the dear 21 year old child K to cancer , the day after Diwali in November ) turned out severe vitamin D deficiency was the culprit.

The December holidays were booked for Gran Canaria for 10 days with the sole focus being on getting some Sun and a good diet for the young one. Enter Omicron and this plan too went bust.

Despite missing so much school and classes, she topped in maths and except art and games ( which she was excused from but still evaluated?) she did very well. She also finished her grade 4 singing and now in grade 5. She went to her weekend CCF camp and came back sicker but much happier. She was also selected in yet another audition for stage performance.

For the dedecember holidays, the very day her school broke up, post her mall visit with her friends, took her to her favourite A*k Italian restaurant in Oxford and from there to the fantastic Pa*k plaza/park royal  hotel for a one night stay. She loved the surprise.

She had her full English breakfast there and came with us to Saravana b* for our brunch. We left to Balaji temple, kanniga parameswari pooja  in her name , had a fantastic dharshan and came home.

In the meanwhile, she could not attend the end of term stage show, so one of our family friends Y asked after her. When we said she was unwell, the family visited with pooja and archanai in her name.This is the same friend who for every birthday , ensures a cake is sent to her.

Also, our dear friends S, H and N sent, on alternate days, healthy food that R likes to get her to gain back the weight she lost so rapidly when she was unwell. 

On our wedding day, we were invited for dinner at N and S’s place and had a great time along with H family.

Also in the holidays we invited N and N’s family home. What was touching was that Y had taken a pic of our kuladeivam, printed it, framed it and presented it to us for R.

We went to my colleague R’s home to celebrate Xmas with her family and another colleague P. The 3 single children were so well behaved, it was a sight to behold!

As usual our American neighbour delighted R with her thoughtful gifts!

She saw the spider man movie and 83 movie with her dad.

I treated R to a foot massage reflexology and later a mini facial. She loved both. We had a fantastic new year’s eve at S’s. I played cards after a long time, though I did not win!

On New Year’s Day , we visited the new baby NS and he could not smile enough for R. We then went to the Coventry Ganesh temple with Coco in tow.

Today Covo is on his play date with Max and we will pick him up tomorrow. In the meanwhile, we will have 2 days out with R to wrap up the hols.

Hopefully 2022 would be healthier for all and may be the new abode we have been after for the past 2 years, since October 2020 is meant for this year!

Letters to my young lady 12

 Dear pattumma

You are 12! Thangame..Appa’s amma was unwell and he had to fly to India on short notice. You were very sweet supporting him throughout though you missed him terribly. This month health was bad for you with 12 days of trouble and it was so bad that some days you vomited. But even then, you did the dishes for me, you did any work that required bending and you were always at the door whenever I came back from grocery shopping, ready to take the stuff in.

Yes, you do things very slowly , you still cannot get up before 7 am even for coco and you are still clumsy..but all that can be improved. That sweet and kind nature that puts a note in daddy’s toiletries pouch for him to read as soon as he landed- that cannot be taught..and you have that in tons!!

Daddy had a very hectic week but took care of his mum, got her discharged and shifted and came running back to us in time for your birthday.  He got you a jimmikki and a lovely peacock blue green saree for me.

On your birthday, our sweet neighbour B gave you and C gifts , your R mama sent you his usual Amazon gift and our B, M and A family sent you 50 bucks with specific instructions to allow you to spend it the way you like. More kindle books in the library I guess! ( they love you like family and so do you..touch wood).

We could only visit Our neighbouring aunties as our usual older couple live a bit farther and we were already running late for our road trip..

With all our other friends friends in India, we took our first road trip with Cokes pops! He was good as gold and made friends for us wherever we went as people could not resist approaching this cute, playful yet well behaved ball of fur!

 We stayed at the lovely and very aesthetically decorated Ty Car**g Fach. The rock fountain at the front of the cottage, the lovely kitchen diner hall and the two garden and lush valley facing windows were perfect.

The shower cubicle was quite small but that was the only compromise. You and C took a room and had a lovely time. For a 3 month old, not once did he relieve himself inside the house and that is thanks to daddy’s unrelenting training. He also sits very patiently and waits his turn while we eat. He made this trip so so enjoyable.Q

We went to castle co*h and did the first walk and due to his popularity made loads of friends. We had your favourite ask Italian the day you we artived and a lovely waha* a Mexican  meal the day after.  We went to Ogmore beach and fusion Mexican/Indian food. The next day was sunny and lovely, boat rides, meals and a walk by marina bay rounded it off. Last day was  a trip to the Batman cave henryhydfalls. As always coco was  a huge hit. Came home and you helped us unpack and sweetly took care of coco.

In all, you are growing up to be a kind, thoughtful and considerate young lady with loads of fun and joy in you! You sing like a dream, swim like a dolphin, enjoy your hockey, doing well in keyboard, enjoy RADA and stage coach and topped in science, maths , history and geography and computers. It is a shame you had to give up badminton as your body did not support the county training travel and schedule. But none of this has affected one way or other the fun and joy you have in just being yourself!

We are blessed da kuttyma

Love

Amma

Jul 2021

 What a June 2021 it was. Last day of work was 4th of June. Could have afforded to wait 7 months due to the terms of parting, but was eager to start again - as had 2 offers in hand already, so opted for the day after my birthday to start with the one with the least commute.

Put the entire lot in pension and used less than 0.6% to treat myself with some Swar*ki jewellery.

Good company, good role, nice people, decent pay. No compromises. No loss. 15 minutes from home.

K arranged a home party for my birthday - so the usual suspects came with S having baked a lovely coffee cake. Next day, was too full to go to saravana Bhavan. But did make it to the vatha Kuzhambu some weeks later. What a lovely trip that was - including the trip to the ganapathy temple.

Coco came home on 8th July. Our chocolate boy - a real pleasure to K and R - as they already knew. He is slowly growing on 'scared of dogs' me too!

He is relatively easy, has a good apetite, a very happy, funny, playful boy. Reminds me of R all over again. Both are sweet , kind and innately joyful. His mum is a therapy dog - so kindness is part of who he is.

H's house warming function in April was a good day as well. The day before some friends had gathered to decorate her new house with flowers and rangoli prep moving form the old to the new house. It was good fun. The homam, breakfast and the dinner next day was also good. Managed to fit in work soon after breakfast.

R passed her Grade 5 theory in music  in the first attempt ( I hear it is not very easy) - so all the sunday morning effort seems to have paid off!

Summer holidays have started and the days start and end with Coco. R did her mandatory independent towncentre/mall trip with her friends on the last day of school and was very happy! She has squeezed in a movie as well while I took care of Coco for 3 hours - my first independent time! We both did well :)

Started her fully on contacts since yesterday. Let's see how she copes this time around.

July 31st a great time was had once again at D and casper’s where I was the function coordinator and R was the senior!

While there is more than enough reason to be absolutely grateful - for some reason, we are unable to find a house we like yet. The search has been on for more than 10 months now.. Am sure it would all turn out to be good. Fingers crossed.

May 2021

 At 4.30 on 26 th May the call that I knew would come, but was not sure, came. Thank God I had not parted ways on the 25th due to the fantastic offer that came in. What a twist in the tale!

So, this bank holiday trip was more hectic than usual with 2 interviews, getting the house ready for the 14 plus viewings take 2, etc. It was the usual suspects plus S,P,G and J family..

It was a wonderfully summary and warm Holiday post a few weeks of the clouds chucking it down.

Tiverton, Fingle bridge and Dawlish beach on day 1  and Becky falls and wiseman s woods on day 2 and woolcombe beach on day 3..all3 hot days and puliyodharai and Thayir sadham and the usual shenanigans. Too tired to write more. Hectic but fantastic holiday..

Back home to two offers already and 2 more viewings the same day and another 2 the next! Grade 5 theory exam on Thursday and more interviews..

Could it BE any more hectic?.?.?

Mixed emotions

 On 13th April 7.56 pm, ugadi day, kuttima  came to me excited about the first indication. At 11 and three quarters, though 6 months to 1 year later than her friends, I still wish it was 4.5 months later.

Tamil New Year’s Day morning..still nothing. 8.23 am confirmed. Love you loads kannamma !

Sigh!

Chace water country park and Shropshire

 Given that all of us are now vaccinated, the usual suspects and us along with the P,S,J and K kitty family went with food, the flying disc and the kids in tow to chace park

As always a very good time was had.  I have been having the worst time in my life at work, especially because from March 23rd, was expecting a miraculous turn around, which unfortunately not only did not happen but things got worse. So, this trip took  me out from my mental stress and helped me breathe. As usual selfie sessions, gentle ribbing and good food and fun.

As predicted in the charts, post 23rd I had ballooned to my heaviest ever, but the good that is supposed to be in the is in the offing seems to have been a mistake.

Yesterday we went to Shropshire and met our Doc, S, D kitty and the new addition Casper. As always a very good time was had. This is a very different kind of fun where there is no tele, no selfies..very good conversation, lots of humour and lots of fun. With this particular family, we never run out of conversation, as our sense of humour is very alike! S,s butter nut squash  morkulambhu was a big winner with me. D, R and Casper had a the best time ever. Touch wood.

Also spoke to my ex boss and ex cio last week. They both reverted back with glowing recommendations though I am in touch with them after 5 years. Unfortunately, both are too far way.

I have some hope for the next week. Touch wood and fingers crossed. I need to start breathing again.